Learning to Serve

Answered and Unanswered Questions

2012-02-16T15:00:00.000+02:00

"So, are you in arelationship? Have you met someone?" I have been asked this questioncountless times. "You've got to do something. You have to startsearching for a husband", I am told when I tell them that I do not have aboyfriend. I smile. There was a time when I tried to help them understand mypoint of view, but now I don't even bother. They don't understand. Some of themcan't. Some of them don't want to. Some won't even listen.

Those who have not seen me for along time go on asking: "So, what are you doing? What are you upto?" "I am a translator for Hope Channel. I am also working andtraveling for ARME Ministries, leading united prayer and presenting workshopson prayer and united prayer."

"Oh, I see" some wouldsay, glad that the mystery is now solved. Those who are more daring would evenventure to say: "Than, how do you want to get married if you travel somuch? Who would take you? You have to settle down if you want to getmarried one day." I smile again. I have heard this over and overagain for the past 6 years since my life has been different from the life ofmost of my friends and acquaintances.

So, aren't they right? I havebeen a volunteer five years and I have lived isolated in the jungle and desert.And now, even though I kind of settled down and have a job, I keep travelingthe world. Humanly speaking, they have all the reasons to be worried for me.

What people see is the a girl whostrong, a leader who gets involved in so many projects, who can manage thingsall by herself. And I can't blame them. This is what once can see at a glance.Little do they know how many times I've pleaded with the Lord to let me be theperson under the stage, the one who supports someone, not the one who has to bein charge. Little do they know that this strong leader feels so much theneed to be led, to be protected, to follow someone, that I do certainthings not because I want, but because I am called to. No, I do not want to saythat I do not enjoy what I am doing, because I really do, but I think thesupporting role fits me better. I like it when I am in charge, but I like itbetter when I can sit in my chair praying, encouraging and being behindsomeone who is in charge. I often dream about the day when I will be ableto do that.

So, why did I spend 5 yearsisolated in the mission field? Why do I travel now? Who do I take speakingengagements? Because He has called me to, because I know and I have seen thatthe best thing for me to do is to follow Him wherever He leads. The happiestplace on earth for me is the place where He wants me to be.

You see, nine and a half yearsago I promised God to follow Him wherever He leads and do whatever He asks meto. And I also promised Him to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness,and trust that everything else will be added unto me. And this is what I amtrying to do. I am very happy with what I am doing right now, but Iam also looking forward to the day when I will be able to be the helper that Hecreated me to be.

"Well," you would say,"you are past the age most girls think they will be single. If God is incontrol, than why are you still single? If you are serving Him, why didn't Hebring someone along until now? He knows you need someone and if you are doingHis work He should be sensitive to your needs."

I can't claim that I have theanswer to these questions. I know that I don't know a lot of things and I don'thave a lot of answers. But there are a few things I know without a shadow of adoubt. Firstly, I know that missionary girls and girls who are traveling and doingGod's work get married. So being in the mission field and traveling does nothave anything to do with being single. Secondly, I know that the best thing Ican do right now is to make sure that I am following Him and that I allow Himto lead my life. Thirdly, I know is that He is in control. That's all. And it isenough to help me live happily with unanswered questions.

It does not mean that there areno days when I am confused, when I feel that He totally forgot about my singleness, when I cry myself to sleep, when I feel so lonely, when I wonder howmuch longer do I have to wait. There have been such days and I am sure therewill be many more. But in the midst of all this, I have learned to be content.I have learned to enjoy my singleness and get the best of it. I have learned to love thisseason of my life.

Does it mean that I gave up onlove? Does it mean that I stopped hoping that I will one day get married? No, it doesn't. I have learned to love being single and not give up on love. I havedecided not to allow my hopes and future cast a shadow on my present. I havedecided to learn to enjoy what I have, not to complain about what I don't. Andit has been one of the best decisions I have made.

If I am content, if I can rejoiceand love my life just as it is now while hoping and waiting for the One, it is only because of Him. It is a giftof grace. My whole life and journey are a gift of grace. I know that He caresabout my heart and my life even more than I do. This is a fact. It is what Iknow. And it is enough.

About Knowledge and Love

2012-02-04T17:27:00.000+02:00

"Knowledge puffs up, but loveedifies." 1 Cor. 8:1

We like to know things, to soak up theinformation and make sure that others know what we know. This is what knowledgeis for, right ? It was meant to be shared with others. Knowledge in itself itis not wrong. It is something good and desirable. We were made to grow anddevelop, to know more and more. In the beginning of the book of Proverbs we aretold that the book was written to give "to the young man knowledge anddiscretion". So, we have a book of the Bible that was written especiallyto give us knowledge.

Remember when God appeared to Solomon and toldhim to ask whatever he wants from Him? What does Solomon ask from God?Knowledge and wisdom. God does not rebuke him for asking for the wrong thing.On the contrary, He is very proud of Solomon's request and praises him forasking for such a thing.

Than why does Paul say that knowledge puffs upwhen God praises Solomon for asking for knowledge? Paul explaines himself veryclearly in 1 Corintiens 13,2: "If I have prophetic powers, and understandall mysteries and all knowledge . . . , but have not love, I gain nothing".Knowledge is something good but only when it goes hand in hand with love. Knowledgewithout love leads to pride. For knowledge alone puffs up. But knowledge withlove leads to humility. Knowledge without love leads to the lack ofconsideration for others. But when there is love, it leads to care.

We can use our knowledge to prove to othersand to ourselves that we are not nobodies, that we are important. And we canuse it for our self-advencement and advantage. It is obvious that love is notthere.

We may know God, but if we do not love Him, wewill have an intelectual faith, not a relationship with Him. Knowing and lovingGod is the key to a close and intimate relationship with Him. The sameprinciple applies to the human relationships.

To know might or might not be a matter ofchoice, but to love is definitely something we need to choose to do. To chooseto love inspite of what you know, that is real science. It is God's science. Itis what we call unconditional love. And it is the only thing that can make adifference in someone's life.

More Quotes on Prayer

2012-01-23T22:04:00.001+02:00

"A sinning man stops praying, a prayingman stops sinning." ~ Leonard Ravenhill

"None can believe how powerful prayer is,and what it is able to effect, but those who have learned it by experience. Itis a great matter when in extreme need to take hold on prayer. I know, wheneverI have prayed earnestly, that I have been amply heard, and have obtained morethan I prayed for. God indeed sometimes delayed, but at last He came." ~ MartinLuther

"True prayer is a lonely business." ~ Samuel Chadwick

"When I am praying the most eloquently, Iam getting the least accomplished in my prayer life. But when I stop gettingeloquent and give God less theology and shut up and just gaze upward and waitfor God to speak to my heart He speaks with such power that I have to grab apencil and a notebook and take notes on what God is saying to my heart." ~ A. W. Tozer

"He who runs from God in the morning willscarcely find Him the rest of the day." ~ John Bunyan

"If your faith does not make you pray,have nothing to do with it: get rid of it, and God help thee to beginagain." ~ C. H. Spurgeon

"I live in the spirit of prayer; I prayas I walk, when I lie down and when I rise, and the answers are alwayscoming." ~ George Mueller

"Notice, we never pray for folks wegossip about, and we never gossip about the folk for whom we pray! For prayeris a great deterrent." ~ Leonard Ravenhill

"See that you do not use the trick ofprayer to cover up what you know you ought to do." ~ Oswald Chambers

"You can do more than pray after you'veprayed, but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed." ~ JohnBunyan

"The more helpless you are, the betteryou are fitted to pray, and the more answers to prayer you willexperience." ~ O. Hallesby

"Nothing tends more to cement the heartsof Christians than praying together. Never do they love one another so well aswhen they witness the outpouring of each other's hearts in prayer." ~ Charles Finney

"And there you have the reason why manypeople pray for the power of the Holy Ghost, and they get something, but oh, solittle! because they prayed for power for work, and power for blessing, butthey have not prayed for power for full deliverance from self." ~ AndrewMurray

”Worshipand intercession must go together, the one is impossible without the other.Intercession means that we rouse ourselves up to get the mind of Christ aboutthe one for whom we pray.” ~ Oswald Chambers

”Historyis silent about revivals that did not begin with prayer.” ~ Edwin Orr

”There is nothing that makes us love a man somuch as praying for him.” ~ William Law

”The Church is looking for better methods; Godis looking for better men. The Holy Ghost does not flow through methods, but through men. He does not come on machinery, but on men. He does not anointplans, but men…Men of prayer." ~ E. M. Bounds

”Pray,and let God worry.” ~ Martin Luther

”Is prayer your steering wheel or your sparetire?” ~ Corrie Ten Boom

”I have been driven many times to my knees bythe overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

”Faith in a prayer-hearing God will make aprayer-loving Christian.” ~ Andrew Murray

”Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to bestronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equalto your task.” ~ Phillips Brooks

”Rich is the person who has a praying friend.” ~ Janice Hughes

"Iwould rather train twenty men to pray, than a thousand to preach; A minister'shighest mission ought to be to teach his people to pray." ~ H. MacGregor

“The trouble with nearly everybody who praysis that he says ‘Amen’ and runs away before God has a chance to reply.Listening to God is far more important than giving Him our ideas.” ~ FrankLaubach

"Time spent in prayer will yield morethan that given to work. Prayer alone gives work its worth and its success.Prayer opens the way for God Himself to do His work in us and through us. Letour chief work as God's messengers be intercession; in it we secure thepresence and power of God to go with us." ~ Andrew Murray

"Prayeris the real work, Evangelism is just the mopping up."

“Thegreat people of the earth today are the people who pray! I do not mean thosewho talk about prayer; nor those who say they believe in prayer; nor those whoexplain prayer; but I mean those who actually take the time to pray. They havenot time. It must be taken from something else. That something else isimportant, very important and pressing, but still, less important and pressingthan prayer. There are people who put prayer first, and group the other itemsin life's schedule around and after prayer. These are the people today who aredoing the most for God in winning souls, in solving problems, in awakeningchurches, in supplying both men and money for mission posts, in keeping freshand strong their lives far off in sacrificial service on the foreign field,where the thickest fighting is going on, and in keeping the old earth sweet alittle while longer.” ~ S. D. Gordon

"Since the days of Pentecost, has thewhole church ever put aside every other work and waited upon Him for ten days,that the Spirit’s power might be manifested? We give too much attention tomethod and machinery and resources, and too little to the source ofpower." ~ Hudson Taylor

"Prayer is not learned in a classroom butin the closet." ~ E. M. Bounds

"Talking to men for God is a great thing,but talking to God for men is greater still." ~ E. M. Bounds

"The men who have done the most for Godin this world have been early on their knees. He who fritters away the earlymorning, its opportunity and freshness, in other pursuits than seeking God willmake poor headway seeking Him the rest of the day. If God is not first in ourthoughts and efforts in the morning, He will be in the last place the remainderof the day." ~ E. M. Bounds

“Those persons who know the deep peace of God,the unfathomable peace that passeth all understanding, are always men and womenof much prayer.” ~ R. A. Torrey

"The essence of prayer does not consistin asking God for something but in opening our hearts to God, in speaking withHim, and living with Him in perpetual communion. Prayer is continualabandonment to God. Prayer does not mean asking God for all kinds of things wewant; it is rather the desire for God Himself, the only Giver of Life, Prayeris not asking, but union with God. Prayer is not a painful effort to gain fromGod help in the varying needs of our lives. Prayer is the desire to possess GodHimself, the Source of all life. The true spirit of prayer does not consist inasking for blessings, but in receiving Him who is the giver of all blessings,and in living a life of fellowship with Him." ~ Sadhu Sundar Singh

“Closet communion needs time for therevelation of God’s presence. It is vain to say, ‘I have too much work to do tofind time.’ You must find time or forfeit blessing. God knows how to save foryou the time you sacredly keep for communion with Him.” ~ A. T. Pierson

“I have seen many men work without praying,though I have never seen any good come out of it; but I have never seen a manpray without working.” ~ James Hudson Taylor

"Beware in your prayers, above everythingelse, of limiting God, not only by unbelief, but by fancying that you know whatHe can do. Expect unexpected things 'above all that we ask or think.'" ~ Andrew Murray

”Worshipping Godis the great essential of fitness. If you have not been worshipping…when you get to work you will not onlybe useless yourself, but a tremendous hindrance to those who are associatedwith you.” ~ Oswald Chambers

I Will Still Follow...

2012-01-03T22:11:00.002+02:00

It is Old Year's Eve. One of my favorite time of the year. A new year ahead. Time for new beginnings. I sit in my chair waiting. Excitement builds up as I am waiting for my favorite Romanian Adventist tradition: sharing promises for the following year. I send up a prayer, as I always do: "Lord, talk to me and give me the message that I need for the following year." The deacons are going around. I reach out and pick a bookmark.

I eagerly open my Bible to Matthew 19,29 and I start reading: "And everyone who has left houses orbrothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for Myname’s sake..." I stop right there. My excitement is gone. Frustration and rebellion are taking its place. "Lord, what do you mean? I left all my family and friends behind for five years. Even now I am working a lot alone. Don't You think that I had enough of it? Don't You think it is time you give me someone to work with? You asked me several times to give up my plans to meet my ARME family and I did it. You asked me again to give up my plans to go to ARME UK and I did it. Don't You think that it will be better for me to have a support group? You said that two are better than one. And You sent the disciples two by two. You are asking me again to leave everything behind. Why? You know very well that I don't like working alone. "

I went on reasoning with God and telling Him all my frustration. He just listened. When I was done, He just asked me:

"Have I ever failed you?"
"No. You have not."

He did not have to say anything else. It was enough to remember the pace and happiness that flooded my soul when I chose to obey. And it was enough to remember His promises: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am in His hands and He will never harm me. He will never allow anything that is not for my best. It is all I needed to remember. Peace flooded my soul again.

Than I went on reading the rest of the promise: "...shall receive a hundredfold, and inheriteternal life." (Matthew 19:29) How have I missed that?

I know. I have failed again. I have proved again that I don't trust Him right away. But He lifted me up as He did countless times. He put again my feet on solid rock.

Thou none go with me, I will still follow...

Disturb Us, Oh, Lord!

2011-12-19T17:40:00.001+02:00

I have just translated a program with Dr.Berry Black, chaplain of the US Senate. He wrote this prayer and I thought itis really appropriate for the end of the year.

Disturb us, oh, Lord,

when we are too wellpleased with ourselves;

when our dreams come true

because we havedreamed too little;

when we arrived safely simply

because we have sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us when with the abundance of thethings we posses,

we lose our thirst for the waters of life

and having fallen in love with life,

we cease to dream of eternity

and in our effort to build a new earth,

we permit our vision of a New Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, today, more boldly,

to venture on wider seas
where storms willshow Your mastery;

when losing sight of land,
we will find Your stars.

GreaThings: Answered Prayers

2011-11-18T18:28:00.001+02:00

If I should start and talk about answered prayers, than I will have to write tens and hundreds of pages. In fact, you can just go back and read my blog to be able to read some of God's answers to my prayers.

For now, I will just share something that He has done for me this week. Last week I decided that I need to put aside some special time for God and fast and pray for 21 days (even though the fast might not mean to go completely without food). The Lord kept showing me, among many other things, how important fasting is. So, I decided to start on Monday. There are many things I was praying for, but one of them that needed immediate answer was about going to Pine Springs Ranch ARME Bible Camp in January. I did not dare to put my hopes up, but I was somehow excited about seeing my ARME family and also meeting Melody, one of my best friends and prayer partners.

First day of fasting. No answer. I could not say that I was troubled, but I also was not totally at peace about going.

Second day of fasting. I did what I usually do. Spend time in prayer. Though I did not have any answer, I was at peace. Than spend time in His Word and praying again. Go confirmed me though His Word that I needed to fast and pray when I read Matthew 17:14-21. Right as I was ending my time with God, I told Him: "Lord, from what I understand, the only reason why You would not have me go to the US is that You want me somewhere else. So, please, send me an invitation today to go somewhere else when I am supposed to go to the ARME Bible Camp."

I should tell you that after I prayed, before I opened the Word and prayed again, I checked my email. 0 new messages. After I prayed the above prayer, I went to my email again. 1 new messages. The subject of the email: Invitation!

Need I say more? I won't. I will tell you later on where I am going after God arranges all the details. I just want you to know that, when you surrender a dream to God, He gives you something much better. I am really excited!!! And if you knew the doors that God is opening for me, you will be, too. :)

GreaThings 2011: R is for the Capacity to Reflect and to Remember

2011-11-13T21:40:00.001+02:00

Today, I am thankful in a special way that God gave us the capacity to reflect and remember. Life is not always a bed of roses and it does not seem to give us the best. But, as we go also through the valley of shadows, reflecting on what He did for us and remembering how He led us in the past gives us the power to hang in there and wait on Him. And it also give us the assurance that He will come through for us.

Someone once said: "We have nothing tofear for the future, except as we shall forget the way the Lord has led us, andHis teaching in our past history."

So I praise the Lord that I can reflect on Hismercy and goodness and love toward me, and this gives me great joy and hope forthe future. And I also thank Him that I can remember the countless times Heparted the Red Sea for me. I know that He will do it again in His own time!

EUD Annual Council

2011-11-12T21:17:00.001+02:00

Euro-Africa Division Annual Councilis over and all I can say is: Praise God for our leaders who understand theneed of prayer and united prayer. We were able to lead the EUD council inunited prayer all the mornings except for one.

I know that those of you who read my blog are wondering why I am talking about EUD Annual Council? I should be talking about GYC Indonesia. Yes, it is true that I was supposed to go there, it is true that I have bought my ticket. But a few weeks after I bought my ticket I have received an invitation to go to EUD Annual Council and lead united prayer there. I have prayed about it and after wrestling with the Lord for a day and a half, I finally gave in and accepted to cancel my ticket. It was not easy to give up to my dream to go back to SE Asia, to the jungle, to the tropics, but I know that God knows very well why He asked me to give up on my dream. And I gladly accepted His plan knowing that He knows the end from the beginning and that He wants what is best for me.

I found it veryinteresing that EUD talked at this annual council about Adventist Mission.Elder Maurer, the Executive Secretary of the EUD, told us that it is for thefirst time in 17 years since he started to take part in these annual councilswhen they talk extensively about mission work. Elder Gary Krause was one of thethree invitees from GC and he talked about the Global Mission. In fact, theydedicated 2 days to the Global Mission.

On Sabbath, the delegations from two unions came to the prayer room. The first one was the RomanianUnion (yes, I am proud of them!!!) and the second was the Bulgarian Union. Though there were no moreorganized groups, we had many other individuals who came to pray with us. Most of the leader from EUD came and spent time in the prayer room. EUDPresident and Treasurer came and pray once or twice. Elder Maurer came almostevery day and spent some time in the prayer room. Another leader who came a fewtimes to pray with us is Paolo Benini, the Sabbath School and MinisterialAssociation Director from EUD. He even asked if we would be available to go toItaly for a Women Ministry retreat and to another Italian SDA church fromSwitzerland.

The EUD AnnualCouncil also opened doors here in Romania. The President of the AdventistTheological Institute asked me if we can meet to talk about united prayer andsee what can they do in their university. Another Conference President asked meif I can train young people to lead united prayer in the churches from hisconference.

We were able togive away a lot of United Prayer Handbooks. Elder Barna Magyarosi,EUD Education Director, told me that many union presidents told him that theyare determined to take united prayer back to their countries.

As we were there,we managed to meet some people we had previously met at GYC France. It was ablessing to be able to reconnect and pray with them. I had especially prayed that I would meet a girl I met a certain girl. She gave me her email address and phone no, butI somehow lost them. She was living in Collognes, but she never stopped by tosay hi. I prayed that God will bring her again my way so we could pray moretogether, but it seemed that the days were passing by and I still did not meether. On Friday night I saw her in the back of the meeting hall, but she leftbefore I could tell her hi. Sunday morning, as I was going to eat with a girlwho is a missionary in Congo (we had also met at GYC France), I finally mether. She was going home from a Bible study. So, I praise God for being able toreconnect with her. It was a miracle that we met.

I was so happy when I found out that two of the translator we had at ASI Spain and anothergirl who had been in the prayer room hosted at AMiCUS Congress in Paris hosteda prayer room at a Youth Meeting in a Spanish church from Madrid. It is sointeresting that, one of our translators from ASI Spain told my friend whoorganized the schedule of the translators that she does not want to spend toomuch time in the prayer room because she paid and she wants to be able tolisten to the workshops and sermons. But she ended up loving the prayer roomand spending more time than she said she would. Now, she was one of the unitedprayer facilitators. Another girl who facilitated united prayer has been in theprayer room but did not pray. She only listened. Now, she was a prayerfacilitator, as well.

So, praise God for all the divine appointments! It is no greater joy than to see Him at work and to see Him changing lives!

GreaThings 2011: Gratitude is...

2011-11-12T20:52:00.000+02:00

I have accepted the challenge to write for a few days about things I am grateful for. (For more information click on the picture above)

Gratitude is a heavenly attitude. It is themusic of the soul that sings when the sun shines and also in the darkness.

It is the ingredient that makes life so muchsweeter.

Gratitude means to be to be humble and to givesome one else the credit for your happiness and welfare.

Gratitude is a heavenly language that we needto learn here on earth in order to be able to sing it up there.

GYC France, a Spirit Filled Conference

2011-11-02T14:30:00.000+02:00

GYC France is over. Though it was a smallconference (around 160-180 people) God has really blessed again. We were soblessed to meet young people from all over Europe who seek God with all theirhearts. We could see God's Spirit poured out in a great measure and this isenough to makes us more than happy. GJC leadership was also really supportive and we were happy to see manyof them come to the prayer room even though they were just a handful of peopleand had so many responsabilities on their shoulders.

We saw many lives changed, many people whowere broken before the Lord and who found peace and happiness because of unitedprayer. There were people who came to the prayer room and who were looking fora purpose in life. Others came to pray because they wanted to understand howthey can serve God at their best. Others came looking for peace. We even hadsomebody come and pray because he found it hard to believe that God exists.Many people came and cried before the Lord because they sensed their need forHim. We had many people come to us with tears in their eyes to thank us forbringing united prayer to GYC France.

An elderly lady from Clermont-Ferrand, thetown where GYC took place, told us that she prayed for a long time for revivaland when she received the letter that GYC is going to take place in her town,she praised God because she knew that this is the answer. She was also recentlyelected as the prayer leader and she is determined to take united prayer to herchurch which is quite small (20-30 members).

The more I travel, the more I realize thatthere are so many people who are searching for God with all their hearts and Ifeel so blessed to be able to meet such people.

God had also a wonderful surprize for us atthe end of the convention, when we least expected it.

The last day the devotional was held byJonathan Zita. He preached with so much power. Everyone could feel God'spresence there. After his altar call and after the prayer, one of the GYCleaders suggested that those who want could fast for breakfast so that we couldhave a season of united prayer. We did not expect to have another season ofunited prayer, but God opened the door for us and this was the most wonderfulmoment from the entire convention. Though a lot of people left on Sundayevening and there were only around 70-80 people left, we were so surprised tosee around 30 people who stayed behind to seal their decision with prayer. I reallyappreciate that Jonathan Zita, Jeffery Rosario, Daniel Pel and his wife (all GYCspeakers) and some of the GYC leaders who joined us for this season of unitedprayer. There were not too many dry eyes in the room as we all poured out ourhearts before God. I told the leaders of GYC France that if it was only forthis devotional and season of united prayer and GYC was worth the effort andall their sleepless nights. It was simply beautiful to feel the presence of theHoly Spirit.

I thought that most of the attendees will befrom France, but it turned out that only 60-70 % were from France. The restwere from Switzerland, Holland, Norway, Germany, England, Portugal. Isn't thatwonderful? And what is even more wonderful is that a lot of them are determinedto take united prayer back to their countries. Some young people from Hollandare going to have a youth conference this very next weekend and they want tohave united prayer and a prayer room. A leader from GYC Portugal (that is goingto take place in February) is also determined to talk to the rest of the teamand have united prayer at GYC Portugal. Daniel Pel, a young evangelist and oneof the speakers who is also teacher for Matteson Mission School and EuropeanBible Institute was happy to discover the power of united prayer and wants totake it wherever he goes. Jonathan Zita said that he will take united prayerback to Canada to his canvassing program. We praise God for all thisdedicated leaders who understand the need for united prayer.

So, what else can I say... I feel that wordsare not enough to describe how much God has blessed at GYC France. Every oneagreed that this was a spirit filled youth conferece. And I guess this says itall.

Praising God for ASI Spain

2011-10-24T11:53:00.000+03:00

I have just arrived home from ASI Spain where Melissa and I hosted a prayer room. God has been good to us! He blessed us tremendously!!! I have no words to describe how blessed I have been there!

Though I was supposed to team mates come and help me, a couple of weeks before ASI Spain I was told that Irene and Arlaine did not get their visa and Andrew could not come to ASI Spain and GYC France. When I got the news, I remember telling a friend that I will pray and ask God that He will not give peace to someone until they come and help me with the prayer room. And He did.

Wednesday morning, 24 hours before I was to leave for ASI Spain and 48 hours before ASI started, I got a phone call. When I heard: "This is Melissa Miranda" I was shocked! I have never ever talked to Melissa, and I was wondering why she was calling. To make a long story short I will tell you that God has not given her peace, and she felt impressed to call and offer to come and help with these three events (ASI Spain, GYC France and Euro-Africa Division Annual Council). So, 47 hours later Melissa landed in Madrid. It has been a dream of hers to come and help promote united prayer in Europe and God has fulfilled it. Praise God for how He knows to send the right people at the right place and also to fulfill our dreams.

ASI leadership was really supportive of the prayer room, and they did everything they could to help and support us. They have rented a beautiful room for the prayer room. It was the most beautiful room in the building and had clouds on the ceiling! Can you imagine a better place to pray…besides being out under the sky directly?

Also, God gave us many opportunities to share about united prayer. We were able to share about united prayer twice on Friday and three times on Sabbath!

ASI started with around 80 people on Friday morning. After our presentation of the prayer room, almost a third of the attendees came right away to the prayer room. When the afternoon program started there were more than 600 people in the audience and on Sabbath there were over 1000 people.

One of the greatest blessings we had was to be abel to lead the whole congregation in united prayer Sabbath morning, just before Elder Mark Finley preached! It was such an amazing experience to have more than 1000 people unite together in prayer!!!

We were not supposed to have united prayer but, when I asked if they would be interested in having united prayer with eveybody, the ASI President told me to talk to a pastor who was in charge of the moments of prayer. Melissa and I talked to him and, though he had made plans, he sugested that we take the most important time from the whole convention, the prayer time just before the divine service on Sabbath morning! Praise God again!

On a side note, we were very surprised to hear that the united prayer is going strong with one church in Denmark. One young man from Denmark told us that a girl from Iceland, who is living in Denmark, was at GYC 2010 and came to our prayer room. She was so inspired that she took united prayer back to Denmark! Praise God for His unexpectated ways of working!

Sabbath morning, Melissa and I prayed that God will send us someone who will be willing to share their testimony. Hardly had we finished the prayer when 4 young people from Hungary, Denmark and Germany came in. They had been to the prayer room on Friday so we started asking them about their experience. One of the girls had a wonderful testimony and she agreed to go with us on the stage and share her testimony. And it all happened right before we were to go on the stage. So, praise God again!

Sabbath morning, I led a session of united prayer right before we were to go and lead the whole congregation in united prayer. There were only 5 of us in the prayer room (three girls, my translator and I), but it was a powerful session. We all could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, and I know that He was working in their hearts because all of them were crying. I had to hurry and go to the main meeting hall because we had to lead united prayer, so I asked them to come back in the afternoon because I want to talk to them. God brought them back to the prayer room right in time for us to ask them to share their testimony about united prayer for our final sharing time. They came during the session that was right before we went on the stage for the last time. We asked them what was their experience in the prayer room and, as tears were streamming down their cheeks, they confessed that they have never experienced something like this. One of the girls has prayed for a long time to be able to feel God's presence and to feel that He was near. And she was finally able to experience His presence in the prayer room. She also said that she has never had such a peace in her heart. Another girl said that she has never had such a joy in her life. I have chatted with her just a few minutes ago and she told me that her day is great, and she is so happy because she finally has God in her heart. We just praise the Lord!

I was also impressed by a lady. Sabbath afternoon Melissa was leading a session of united prayer while I was at the door trying to see if there are more people who want to come in. While I was there, a lady asked me if there is any water in the prayer room. Apparently someone has told her that there are bottles with water in the prayer room. I told her I did not know if there was any water left, and she asked me if I can go and check for her. I told her, "Why don't you look and see!" Five minutes later, when I entered the prayer room, the same lady was praying and crying before the Lord!

Another Romanian lady in her 50s was really moved and she told Melissa that she has never prayed for 45 minutes in her entire life!

We have seen many people in tears. Many took the decision to recommit their lives to God. Many were determined to take united prayer back to their homes. The Youth Director from the Union came three times to the prayer room, and he is determined to take this to the young people for all of Spain. The Pathfinder director from the Union and his wife joined us too, and he is determined to promote united prayer amoung the pathfinders. We had a girl from Hungary who said that they are going to have a Youth Convention in Hungary next weekend, and she wants to take united prayer there. The wife of the Pathfinder Director offered to translate the united prayer handbook into Spanish. I believe that we need to have it translated into many languages, and I praise God for those that are inspired to do the translation.

So, what else can I say except, praise God!!! He has been more than faithful! It is an honor to be able to see Him changing lives through united prayer.

Let's keep moving forward on our knees!

True Greatness

2011-10-08T21:37:00.000+03:00

There has been one name that everybody hasbeen talking about for the past days. One name mentioned in a lot ofnewspapers, webpages, blogs, tweets and facebook posts: Steve Jobs. A lot of myfriends from facebook have been quoting his words, posting articles about himand also the inspirational speech he had at Standford University. People aretalking about him as someone who had a great impact upon the world and haschanged it, a visionary and genious, a great man. And though I have many thingsI could object about related to his vision, lifestyle, values, etc. this is not whatI want to talk about. His death and people's comments made me think aboutgreatness.

A great man... What makes someone a greatperson? How do I define greatness?

I remember sitting in my office andtranslating a program in which C.D. Brooks was interviewed. And as I waslistening to him speaking, my eyes got moist. He talked with so much power!!!Every morning, as I am going to work with the earphones pluged in ears, I am listening to God's wordpreached by different people. And many times my eyes become moist because theHoly Spirit is at work. For me, they are great people.

I know a lot of people who have left thecomfort of their houses, left their families behind and chose to go in the middle ofthe nowhere, in the jungle or desert, to far away lands, to live a life ofself-denial and hardships in order to take the Gospel to people who have neverheard about Jesus. People who have given their all to God, people who liveby faith and depend on God alone. For me, they are great people.

I am more and more fascinated by biographiesof people who lived a life of prayer, people like John Hyde, known as Praying Hyde, Rees Howels, Charles Finney, Geroge Muller, E.M. Bounds, Martin Luther, David Livingstone. People who learned what prevailing prayermeans, who learned not to let go of God unless He blessed them, who felt a burdenfor souls and who interceeded for others. People who went forward in faith andstepped into the Jordan believeing that the waters will be parted. And I amalso fascinante by people who are alive and do the same things. For me, they aregreat people.

I admire people who, even though they mightnot be called to the foreign mission fields, they do whatever they can toglorify God where they are. People who are humble and who do not depend ontheir own wisdom. They choose to do the work that lies nearest to them. Theychoose to be faithful in the little things and they are living testimonieswherever God placed them. For me, they are great people.

I also admire people who understand that, inorder to serve God, you must first be willing to forsake your reputation andwork for the glory of God and the betterment of others. People who areavailable to be broken, to die to self, and to be put back together by God. Forme, they are great people.

So, for me, a great person is someone ...

... who is humble.

... who is meek.

... who seeking for God with all His heart.

... who depends on God and makes sure that hedoes not do what he wants, but what God wants him to do.

... who does not try to please people, butGod.

... who is willing to answer God's call.

... who does not make plans of His own and is

... who lives to bless others.

... who has a ferent prayer life.

... who is ready to give up his dreams to liveGod's dreams for his life.

... who lives a simple life.

... who glorifies God through His words andbehaviour.

... who is not ashamed of Jesus.

... who is not afraid to admit his mistakes.

... who does not trust his own wisdom, buttrust in God's wisdom.

... who inspire those around him to love Godmore.

... who is willing to be broken and to be puttogether back by God.

... who is in love with God.

... for whom God is everything and enough.

And the list can go on...

They might not be the brightest people. Theymight not have revolutionized the world with their inventions. They might notbe known world-wide. They may not have been given awards. And they many nothave the peope's recognition. But they have changed lives for eternity. They have drawn people closer to God. They have shown others God's love. And they surely have the heaven's recognition anda crown waiting for them. No, they are not perfect people. They have their ownstruggles but they have learned to depend on God, they have seen their need of Him, they have asked Him to take full control of them and this is what makes thedifference.

If you think that such people do not existanymore, let me tell you that they do. I praise God for surrounding me withsuch people lately. It is one of the greatest blessings He has ever given me.And it is one of the greatest honors I have received from Him.

So, I thank God for the great people that have lived in all the ages, for those who are living today and for the ones He brought in my life. Only eternity will fully reveal their greatness.

Hitting the Road One More Time

2011-09-17T16:17:00.000+03:00

Yes, it is time to hit the road one more time.No, that does not mean that I will not be working for Hope Channel. I am stilla Hope Channel employee.

A month ago a friend suggested that I jointhem and go to the AMiCUS International Congress organized by the EUD topresent there the prayer room. They are going to have some time dedicated toprojects. How can I do that if we do not have a prayer room there? I askedmyself. We simply can't. So, I decided to send a proposal to the organizers.And, praise God, they have accepted it. Two more days and I will be on my wayto Paris, France to host an all day prayer room for the AMiCUS InternationalCongress. God provided wonderfully the means and also someone to help me withthat. It will be so exciting to meet Irene from Indonesia, whom I have never met.

And this is not all....

A couple of weeks ago Irene asked me if I knowanything about the Congress that is going to be held in France at the end ofOctober. I imediately realized that it should be GYC France. I checked it outon the internet and my suspicions were confirmed. Why not to send them aproposal for an all-day prayer room? I asked myself again. So I sent them theproposal. Not only were they happy to have us come there, but they also saidthat we are the answer to their prayers. They have been looking for someone tohave a workshop on prayer and did not know anybody to do that. So, God sent myproposal at the right time.

Walking in His Steps

I remember telling my good friend Melody thatI need help with the prayer room. I was afraid that nobody will be able to comebecause ARME has a Bible Camp in Hawaii the very next weekend. I knew that Godwill provide, but I wanted to know who will come so that I can tell theorganizing team of GYC France. The very same morning (in fact, an hour later!)I sent Melody an email telling her that I really need to know who is coming, Ireceived a text message from Irene who told me that she has exciting news forme. What could it be? I simply could not figure it out. Not long after that,she sent me an email and I understood her excitement. She told me that shecould make it to GYC France and that the Lord impressed her to ask somebodyelse to come with her and the person said that he is willing to come. Wow.. Icould not believe it that the Lord provided sooooo fast...

And still, this is not all...

A few days later, Irene told me somethingabout GYC Indonesia that is going to take place the very next weekend after GYCFrance. I remember thinking: I wish I can go there! But than I thought: Icannot go. Why? First of all, God has not called me there; I have nothing to dothere and I don't want to go just to attend. It will be a waste of money.Secondly, I have no money. And thirdly, I cannot dare to ask my boss for a 2week leave. I was not sure he will allow me to go for one week since he alreadyagreed to allow me to go to Paris for a week in September.

To make a long story short, Irene told me thatshe needs help with the prayer room. Hmmm... one obstacle down. Than, I went totalk to my boss and he was happy to let me go. When I told him that I can takean unpaid leave he said: "No, you do not need to do that. We are workingfor the same cause." Second obstacle down. Not long after that, the moneyissue was solved and I had no more obstacles in my way... So, in five and ahalf weeks I will be on my way to GYC France and from there to GYC Indonesia. Iam more than excited!!!

From Trials to Triumph

I cannot expressed how blessed I am to be ableto work with ARME Ministries. It is by far the greatest blessing I have everreceived. I have seen God working in and through my life before, but it seemsto me that I have never seen it clearer than now. I know that this is theresult of getting closer and closer to Him. And I know that I have said thisbefore and that I will also say it in the future because, the deeper He takesme in my relationship with Him, the more I can see Him at work!

What is next after Indonesia? Only He knows.But I am sure that it will be even more exciting! I am still looking forward togoing back to the mission field, but I believe that the Lord wants to keep mehere for a little longer. So, stay tuned for more exciting news!

Every Breath a Prayer

2011-09-16T01:33:00.000+03:00

I have always been a daydreamer. Dreams weremy fortress every time my family moved to a new place. Every time I had nobodyto understand me, I would go to the daydream land. Most of the times I woulddream about Prince Charming, sweeping me off my feet, understanding all mychallenges and being there for me. I went to bed creating a whole new world andnew friendly reality in my mind. And when I woke up, I wanted to stay in my bedand go on dreaming... I walked to school and dreamed. I rode the car anddreamed. I loved being all by myself and dreaming. I remember feeling so emptywhen I had to face the reality... I realized that the daydreaming is making meincapable of enjoying life... the real life... the life that I was living.

I have tried so many times to break thishabbit. But I only found myself going back to my wonderland whenever the realitywas hostile. I failed every time no matter how hard I tried. This went on untilI found out and experienced the blessings of unceasing prayer. I am still adreamer, but now I dream about Him. And at the end of the day, instead ofdreaming myself to sleep, I am praying myself to sleep. When I wake up, I donot feel empty, I do not feel like I do not want to wake up! Instead, I amready to face another day... with Him in my thoughts.

I like so much the following quotation. Itreflects so well the challenge we are all facing and it gives us the solution:

"The reason why so many are left tothemselves in places of temptation is that they do not set the Lord alwaysbefore them. When we permit our communion with God to be broken, our defense isdeparted from us. Not all your good purposes and good intentions will enableyou to withstand evil. You must be men and women of prayer. Your petitions mustnot be faint, occasional, and fitful, but earnest, persevering, and constant.It is not always necessary to bow upon your knees in order to pray. Cultivatethe habit of talking with the Saviour when you are alone, when you are walking,and when you are busy with your daily labor. Let the heart be continuallyuplifted in silent petition for help, for light, for strength, for knowledge.Let every breath be a prayer."—(E. G. White, The Ministry of Healing, 510, 511.)

How can you do this? How can you make yourevery breath a prayer?

1. Some of you might not even want to spendtime in prayer. I know it! I have been there! First of all, you need to ask Himto make you willing to spend time with Him in prayer. Make a habit ofsurrending, asking God to take full control of you and make you willing to prayfirst thing in the morning, before you get out of bed. You might not feel likeyou want to pray, you might not have the power to say no to the temptations,but God has promised in Philippians 2,13: for it is God who works in you bothto will and to do for His good pleasure. He promised to make us willing if weare willing to be made willing.

He promised to make us willing... this is sofreeing... Here is what Ellen White says about surrender:

Many are inquiring, “How am I to make thesurrender of myself to God?” You desire to give yourself to Him, but you areweak in moral power, in slavery to doubt, and controlled by the habits of yourlife of sin. Your promises and resolutions are like ropes of sand. You cannotcontrol your thoughts, your impulses, your affections. The knowledge of yourbroken promises and forfeited pledges weakens your confidence in your ownsincerity, and causes you to feel that God cannot accept you; but you need notdespair. What you need to understand is the true force of the will. This is thegoverning power in the nature of man, the power of decision, or of choice.Everything depends on the right action of the will. The power of choice God hasgiven to men; it is theirs to exercise. You cannot change your heart, youcannot of yourself give to God its affections; but you can choose to serve Him.You can give Him your will;He will then work in you to will and to do accordingto His good pleasure. Thus your whole nature will be brought under the controlof the Spirit of Christ; your affections will be centered upon Him, yourthoughts will be in harmony with Him. (E. G. White, Steps to Christ, 47)

2. Than, I recommend that we ask the Lord tosend you someone to pray with. Someone who seeks Him with all his heart and whowants to spend time praying with you. It helps so much to know that there issomeone you can pray with. Ecclesiastis 4:9 says that Two are better thanone... And the Lord also promisedthat where there are two or three gathered in His name, He will be there.

3. Every time the temptation comes, pray toHim for delieverance! Every time you are tempted to daydream, or think negativethougts or... you know better what, ask Him to help you do what's right.Instead of listening to the radio or to music, listen to the Bible in audioformat or to sermons. It will help you cultivate the habit of thinking aboutHim and talking to Him.

What a blessing it is to be able to go tosleep with Him in my mind and to wake up with Him in my thoughts. What ablessing it is to be able to talk to Him and surrender everything to Him and dothis first thing in the morning, before doing anything else. Here is one of myfavourite quotes from Ellen White:

"When you rise in the morning, kneel atyour bedside, and ask God to give you strength to fulfil the duties of the day,and to meet its temptations. Ask Him to help you to bring into your workChrist’s sweetness of character. Ask Him to help you to speak words that willinspire those around you with hope and courage, and draw you nearer to the Saviour."—(E. G. White, Sonsand Daughters of God, 199.)

My dreams have never been sweeter... and theyare getting sweeter every day as I make my every breath a prayer!

Some of My Favourite Quotes on Prayer

2011-09-14T21:28:00.002+03:00

Walking with God down the avenue of prayer we acquire something of His likeness, and unconsciously we become witnesses to others of His beauty and His grace. -- E. M. Bounds

Prayer should not be regarded as a duty which must be performed, but rather as a privilege to be enjoyed, a rare delight that is always revealing some new beauty. - E.M. Bounds

Prayer succeeds when all else fails. - E.M. Bounds

All that true prayer seeks is God Himself, for with Him we get all we need. - The Kneeling Christian

Our prayer must not be self-centered. It must arise not only because we feel our own need as a burden we must lay upon God, but also because we are so bound up in love for our fellow men that we feel their need as acutely as our own. To make intercession for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love for them. - John Calvin

We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties. - Oswald Chambers

Satan laughs at our toiling, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray. - The Kneeling Christian

He who knows how to overcome with God in prayer, has heaven and earth at his disposal. - C. S. Spurgeon

Pray alone. Let prayer be the key of the morning and the bolt at night. The best way to fight against sin is to fight it on our knees. - Philip Henry

The secret of all failure is our failure in secret prayer. - The Kneeling Christian

People may spurn our appeals, reject our messages, oppose our arguments, despise our persons; but they are helpless against our prayers. - Thomas Lindberg

The prayer of the saints is never self-important, but always God-important. - Oswald Chambers

Unless the heart is right the prayer must be wrong. - The Kneeling Christian

There is no greater test to spirituality than prayer. The man who tries to pray quickly discovers just where he stands in God's sight. - The Kneeling Christian

...a man who kneels before God will stand before men. - Leonard Ravenhill

... he that is never on his knees on earth, shall never stand upon his feet in heaven. - C. H. Spurgeon

The purpose of prayer is to reveal the presence of God equally present all the time in every condition. - Oswald Chambers

Every work of God can be traced to some kneeling form. - Dwight L. Moody

We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties. - Oswald Chambers

We think of prayer as a preparation for work, or a calm after having done work, whereas prayer is the essential work. It is the supreme activity of everything that is noblest in our personality. - Oswald Chambers

Prayer is not getting things from God, that is the most initial stage; prayer is getting into perfect communion with God; I tell Him what I know He knows in order that I may get to know it as He does. - Oswald Chambers

It will be a wonderful moment for some of us when we stand before God and find that the prayers we clamoured for in early days and imagined were never answered, have been answered in the most amazing way, and that God's silence has been the sign of the answer. If we always want to be able to point to something and say, "This is the way God answered my prayer," God cannot trust us yet with His silence. - Oswald Chambers

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. - Phillips Brooks

. . . every preacher who does not make prayer a mighty factor in his own life and ministry is weak as a factor in God's work and is powerless to project God's cause in this world. - E. M. Bounds

When the devil sees a man or woman who really believes in prayer, who knows how to pray, and who really does pray, and, above all, when he sees a whole church on its face before God in prayer, "he trembles" as much as he ever did, for he knows that his day in that church or community is at an end. - R.A. Torrey

Enthusiasm is more active than faith, though enthusiasm cannot remove mountains nor call into action any of the omnipotent forces which faith can command. Activity is often at the expense of more solid, useful elements, and generally to the total neglect of prayer. To be too busy with God's work to commune with God, to be busy with doing church work without taking time to talk to God about His work, is the highway to backsliding, and many people have walked therein to the hurt of their immortal souls. - E. M. Bounds

No man can do a great and enduring work for God who is not a man of prayer, and no man can be a man of prayer who does not give much time to praying. - E. M. Bounds

Prayer makes a godly man, and puts within him "the mind of Christ," the mind of humility, of self-surrender, of service, of pity, and of prayer. If we really pray, we will become more like God, or else we will quit praying. - E. M. Bounds

A holy life does not live in the closet, but it cannot live without the closet. - E. M. Bounds

No man - I don't care how colossal his intellect - No man is greater than his prayer life. - Leonard Ravenhill

Fall on your knees and grow there. There is no burden of the spirit but is lighter by kneeling under it. Prayer means not always talking to Him, but waiting before Him till the dust settles and the stream runs clear. - F. B. Meyer

A loving spirit is a condition of believing prayer. We cannot be wrong with man and right with God. The spirit of prayer is essentially the spirit of love. Intercession is simply love at prayer. - The Kneeling Christian

He who is too busy to pray will be too busy to live a holy life. Satan had rather we let the grass grow on the path to our prayer chamber than anything else. - E.M.Bounds

H.M.S. Richards on Ellen White and Her Prayers

2011-08-22T08:33:00.001+03:00

I had to post these quotes written by H.M.S.Richards about Ellen White. An Elder shared them with me last Friday, after I preached for vespers about prayer. I found the quotes really powerful and inspiring.

"You can give me a lot of proof of the Spirit of Prophecy, and I accept and believe it. But if I didn't have one of those proofs, I would believe in her [Ellen White] because I heard her pray. That, to me, was the greatest proof of her prophetic office. Within thirty seconds after she began to pray, we were all in the presence of God. I was afraid to look up, lest I should see God standing there by her side. She was talking with Him, and she was completely oblivious of others around her. Within a minute you could hear sobs all over the building. That great congregation was in tears. There was one mind, one conviction of the Holy Ghost, the Spirit of the Holy Fire, the Spirit of God, as she prayed.

I'll tell you, my friends, it made many changes in lives. People were surprised by the power and presence of God. They have never expected that. They came to see a prophet, something strange - but God took hold of them. They were weeping and crying out. Talk about psychology if you want, there wasn't any of that there. She was quiet until she started to pray, and then, just like that, it was there - a tongue of fire. She had it when she prayed. I was there, and I know. When she got up, she was just a dear old lady again." H.M.S. Richards, Feed My Sheep, 407 *

I want to have that power! And I know that God can give it to us, if we ask for it! Let's all press forward and ask the Lord to give us that tongue of fire. Because it is then that we will be able to finish the work! We need the Holy Spirit more than ever! And God is ready to give it to us if we ask Him to.

"There is nothing that Satan fears so much as that the people of God shall clear the way by removing every hindrance, so that the Lord can pour His Spirit upon a languishing church and an impenitent congregation." Messengers to young people, p.133

May we all seek Him with all our hearts and may our lives be a testimony of the transforming power of the Almighty One!

*For those who want to read the book, you can find it here: Feed My Sheep.

Generation of Youth for Christ and the Blessings of the Prayer Room

2011-08-21T13:20:00.002+03:00

It's been almost a month since I came back from GYC (the Romainan version of GYC, of course) and I wanted to take the time and write about the things that the Lord has done there, but I had to catch up on my work and had no time for it. So, here I am, to testify again that we serve an amzing God!

Who would have thought what the consequences would be when, less than 4 months ago (to be exact on May, 10), I offered to fast and pray with a girl I barely knew and who grew to be on of my best friends since then? Who would have thought that the difficult times that she was facing would bring such a blessing upon each of us and upon God's work from Romania? Who would have thought that God could change those difficult times in one of the greatest blessings we have ever received?

In order words, if I am a new person, if I have finally found what I have missed all along, if God has taken be deeper and deeper in my walk with Him and has drawn me closer and closer to Him, if He has impacted other lives since then, it is because he allowed trials in the life of a girl whom I did not really know, because she chose to take them to Him in prayer, and because I was inspired to tell her that I want to fast and pray with her for 10 days (I ended up fasting only 5 days because of a headache that was hindering me from being able to work). We "met" (online, of course, since we were separated by the ocean) and prayed for an hour, an hour and a half for 10 days... And we did not stop there... From time to time, whenever she is not traveling, we like to get together and pray again! What a blessing this is to both of us! Thank you, Melody! You are more than a prayer partener, you are one of my best friends and I am sure that only eternity will fully reveal the impact that your friendship and faithfulness to God had on me and, through me, on other people.

GYC has been an amazing experience for all of us who have been there. God worked more than I expected Him to. There were two things I asked Him for. The first one was that I could feel His presence and see Him at work and the second one was that He will give me a burden for these people even though I did not know them, that He would keep me on my knees to interceed for them. And He was more than faithful in granting me what I have asked for. If for the first two days I could not really feel that He is present, on the third day I was simply aware of His presence. And so were other people I talked to.

The GYC leadership was really supportive of the prayer room, even more than I expected. In fact, they confessed that we were an answer to their prayers. Since I went there earlier to help them finish the preparations for the camp, we had time to get together as a team and pray! What a blessing this was for all of us! One time, we got together to pray for an hour and we ended up praying for an hour and a half. I simply could not stop them. Whenever I wanted to make the transition to another section, there were people starting to pray. The prayer room was also a blessing! I had someone share with us that the Holy Spirit kept sending him to the prayer room but he resisted the voice of the Holy Spirit. Finally, he gave in, and obeyed. What a blessing the prayer room was for him! He said that God showed him who he really is and how deceitful his heart is. We had some other people who came over and over again to the prayer room, people who confessed that they could feel God's presence there and who where so happy to be in His presence.

We had two prayer rooms opened for 5 hours on Thursday (one in Hungarian language that was hosted by Rita and one in Romanian language which I led) while everybody was doing outreach. I have to admit that I did not believe that God will bring too many people to the prayer room because most of the people wanted to go for the outreach. But God was good and not only He sent around 16 people to each prayer room but people also could feel His power and presence while doing outreach. I had several people come to me and tell me that they could feel God's presence working on their behalf, that they have never experienced something like that before and they knew that it was because of our intercessory prayers. Praise God that He is poweful and more than faithful!!!

I cannot help but be amazed more and more at the power of united prayer! And I know that this is only the begining... God has already started to open doors here in Romania and Europe for united prayer! And remember how it all started??? With God allowing difficult times in the live of someone who trusted Him and wanted to take her problems to Him in prayer. And though I am so happy to see united prayer spreading in Romania and Europe, I am scared at the dimensions of the work! But I am glad that I am scared because this will keep my on my knees and will make me depend only on Him.

I once thought that the 5 years spent in the mission field were the best years ever and that nothing would ever change me more than these years did. Now, after experiencing the power of united prayer for the last few months I believe that experiencing united prayer is the best life-changing experience ever. Sometimes I wonder how would my mission service have looked like, had I known and experienced the power of united prayer while I was there. But, I guess that God is taking me deeper and deeper and this is what brings tremendous joy to my heart.

So I praise God for faithful friends, for being so faithful and for doing wonderful things in my life, many more and more beautiful than I have ever dreamed.

I'm in the Lord's ARME

2011-06-25T15:49:00.004+03:00

Some of you may think I have made a mistake. No, there is not a spelling mistake... I'm in the Lord's ARME.

If you read my blog entry A Call to Prayer you remember that I have written about God tapping on my shoulder and telling me that He wants me back into full time ministry, He wants me to have a fervent prayer life, to be a prayer warrior. My life has been changed as I realised things I have been missing all along and as I allowed Him to take full control of my life.

Than, if you read my blog entry In His Presence, you remember that God made me give up my plans for this summer (going with my youth group to the seaside) so that I do something meaningful. When God asked me to change my plans, I thought He wants me to go to Upper Colombia ARME Bible Camp. So, I started praying and talking to my friend Melody about it. I was really excited since I have wanted to be part of an ARME Bible Camp for a long time. But, as we were making plans and praying about it, I simply did not have peace in my heart regarding this decision and I did not understand why. Since I know my Lord and since I know that He does that every time I am about to make a wrong decision, we decided to wait and continue to pray until I understand what I need to do.

It was in this period of time that I found out about the GYC Convention that they are going to organize in Romania. I remember telling Melody: "Wish I could organize a Prayer Room there!" But I knew that I could not do that since I did not to do it alone and there was nobody to help. You see, after being in the mission field for 5 years and being alone most of the time, I told the Lord that, if He ever wants me to do something for Him, He has to give me a team or at least one more person I can work with, dedicated people who share my values and desire to work for Him. So Mel and I started to pray about it. I did not tell anybody else about my desire and I did not know anybody who has a burden for prayer. So, I have to admit that I did not believe that God will send someone.

I was one day talking to Rita, Melody's "adopted" Romanian sister who had just come to visit her Romanian family. I had just met her (Melody introduced us) but felt that I have known her for a long time. I do not know why but I mentioned the GYC Convention and asked her is she is not interested in coming. "Maybe we can organize a prayer room there ," she told me. I was shocked even though I did not show it to her. Could it be this God's answer to my prayers? Could it be this why He did not want me to go to the Upper Colombia ARME Bible Camp? (Btw, both GYC and the ARME Bible Camp will take place in the last week of July). I had not told her anything about my desire to oganize a prayer room and that I had been praying about it. We decided to take a week to pray and make a decision whether we want to do that or not. As we finished the conversation and as I got on my knees to pray, I knew that I did not have to pray about it. I knew that this was God's answer to my prayers. He made it possible despite my lack of faith.

The rest is history... I wrote Rita right away that I believe that she is an answer to my prayers and that I know God wants us to do that. Than, we wrote the GYC committee about it and waited for their feedback. A week ago they let us know that they will be more than happy to have United Prayer and a Prayer Room open for a few hours a day.

So, here we are, getting ready to lead United Prayer and a Prayer Room in a month. Though I am excited, I realize what a responsibility lays on our shoulders. I do not know why God chose to trust us so much, but I sulrely feel the need to abide in Him and to give myself up to the control of the Holy Spirit. And I realize more and more that this is His work, not mine. So, I just want to make sure that I am fully surrendered so that my sins do not block the way for His blessings and for His power to be manfested in people's lives.

I know that I have said it many times, but I am more and more amazed at the ways God is working and at the plans He has for my life. And I am more amazed of how He choses to answer prayers. I am also thankful for godly friends like Mel and Rita whom I have not known for a long time but whom I feel like I have known for years because of our love for God and mutual desire to abide in Him and to serve Him.

So, I'm in the Lord's ARME and I am so humbled by His calling!

God's Strange Ways 2

2011-06-09T20:27:00.002+03:00

I have wrote about God's strange ways a couple of weeks ago... how I lost my Bible and how God replaced it right away.

Oh well, there are a few things that I haven't told you and the time has come that I share them with you.

I have to admit that, when I got the Bible, I was a little bewildered. Why? First, because it reached me so fast. It usually takes 2 weeks for a parcel to get here from the US. Than, it has been brought to my work place. Normally in Romania, parcels sent through the regular mailing sistem are not delieved. One receives a notice from the post office and has to go there to take it. And there is only once postal office where one can get the parcels coming from other countries. Then, the third strange thing is that the guy who brought it has not asked to open the parcel and check it. Parcels sent from foregin countries pass through customs.

Another thing that was strange was the fact that I got only one parcel. Melody told me that she sent me two of them. She posted both of them in the same day, at the same post office. Hmmm... strange... So I waited and waited and kind of lost my hope to get the other parcel. I thought it simply got lost.

I was working at home yesteday when the secretary called me to tell me that I received a notice from the postal office. I have to go and pick my parcel. This is a little over two weeks after I got the first one. So I went and picked it...

God definitely knew that I need a Bible and I need it soon. So He worked on that. I got it 5 days after is had been posted and it has been delievered to me. There is no logical explanations for that. Two parcels sent by the same person, in the same day, from the same post office get here at different times and in different ways. Aren't God's ways strange? Yes, they are. And that is why God is God. He can do the impossible. He can do irrational things when you expect Him the least and even when you do not ask Him to. He loves to surprise us and give us gifts. I love surprises! But I love God more.

I am wondering what is going to be His next surprise.

Pressing on!

2011-06-09T19:29:00.003+03:00

I have been challenged this week to think about my passions. What is it that I put all my power and energy into? When people look at my life, what passions do they see there? Do they see my passion for traveling? For mission in isolated places? For music? For education? For translation?

Yeah, I might me known for the things I have just mentioned but I know that I want that to change. Not because these things are wrong but because the focus should be different. I want people to look at my life and say: This person has a passion not for ministry, not for missions, not for evanghelism, not for education but for God. Yes, I want people to see that I am passionate about God. I want people to see my desire to abide in Him and be His and only His. I want people to see that He is everything to me. That He is my first and only love.

And this is what He has been working on in my life lately. I know that He wants me to focus on Him and to press on! I asked Him to do everything it takes to make me passionate about Him and He promised to do so. Sometimes He has to take from me things He has given me, just to change my focus on Him. Mission work has been one of those things, but there are many more. And even though it hurts and it is hard to let go of all those good things, I know it is Him who's asking me to give them away. So, I am ready to give them away because I want Him more than anything. I may walk through the vally of loneliness and darkness, I may have to give away the dearest things to me, I may have to face waiting seasons, I may have to drag my bleeding feet, I my get wounded in the fight, I may stumble and fall, but I want to press on. Because I want Him to be my first and only passion.

Press On by Selah has been helping me a lot in my journey...

Press on

When the valley is deep

When the mountain is steep

When the body is weary

When we stumble and fall

When the choices are hard

When we're battered and scarred

When we've spent our resources

When we've given our all

Chorus:

In Jesus' name, we press on

Dear Lord, with the prize

Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on.

God's Strange Ways

2011-05-29T18:21:00.001+03:00

Be careful what you ask for, cause God might answer in a way you have never thought He would.

I have started to pray some time ago that He will use me where I am now. Three weeks ago I decided to stay at home and spend the Sabbath with the Lord. I took my Bible, diary and the book of Education and I went in the park where I enjoyed my time with my Father. Since I really liked it, the following day I went again in the park in the morning for my appointment with the King. I have fully enjoyed the time there. No one bothered me.

Monday morning I woke up, spent time in prayer and than wanted to pick my Bible to read from it. But my Bible was nowhere to be found. I search my backpack, the bookselves, and all other possible places. No trace of my Bible. I remembered that, on Sabbath I double checked to see if I forgot something on the bench but I could not remember if I did the same thing on Sunday. (Obviously I didn't since my Bible was missing.)

So, Monday morning, before I went to the office, I decided to go and check in the park to see if I can find it. While I was heading that direction, the Lord told me: "Haven't you asked me to use you?" "Yes, Lord, I did! But you know, that is my Bible. I have underlined the important verses, I have the date under those verses that You used to answer my prayers." "I know, but you have asked Me to use you and I did!" So, I turned back and headed to my office.

That evening, when I came back home, I went to the park just in case... But I knew I would not find it. And I didn't.

Fast forward 2 weeks. I got a parcel. A friend of mine sent me a Remnant Study Bible which I have enjoyed a lot for the past few days. Though I miss my Bible, I am happy to know that God gave it to someone who needed it more than I did. And even though I am used to read my Bible in Romanian language, I am learning to appreciate the English translation. "I am sure God has a purpose in this" a friend told me refering to the fact that I need to read the Bible in English.

I can only say: "Surely the Lord knows what He is doing." So I am just enjoying the strange ways He answers prayers.

A Call to Prayer

2011-05-29T17:33:00.006+03:00

I had just started to get comfortable - a job, a decent salary, a social life, friends and fun - when God tapped me on the shoulder. I can't remember very well how it all started even though it has been less than a month ago, but I have felt Him tapping on my shoulder harder and harder. And when He taps, one cannot simply ignore Him.

It was enough to see an example of someone who trusts Him and is led by Him, so, I told the Lord: "Lord, I want that!" "You can have it," He told me. It was as if scales fell off my eyes one more time and I understood again that His plans for me are big, bigger than I can imagine. It was as if His sweet soft voice wishpered in my ears: "What you are doing now is only temporarily. It is just a transition. I have bigger plans for you." I didn't argue with Him because I have suddenly started to feel tired of sitting in an office, but I have to admit that I thought in my mind: Bigger? What can be bigger than working for a christian television network and reaching millions of people?

"I have bigger plans for you!"
"Ok, I am fine with that! Just tell me what that is!"
"Tust Me!" that's all He told me.
"Lord, I have to admit that I am so afraid to step again on waters. I have been there for 5 years. I am also afraid that you will take me to places that I do not want to go to and ask me to do what I do not like to do. Just show me what you have for me and I will trust You!"
"Tust Me!" That is all He kept telling me.
And I kept telling Him of my fears until I decided it is of no use to go on and on like that.
"OK, Lord, I give in. I want to trust You, but fear keeps creeping in my heart. You have to take it away!"
It was all He was waiting for.

So, He started to show me a little of those bigger plans. First, He started to work again on my prayer life. Between hours spent on my knees and on prayer calls, listening to powerful sermons and studying the Word, I have realized once again that there are many things He needs to change in me. So, fear has crept in again in my heart. I started bargaining again with God:
"Lord, I want to be changed but I am afaid of the radical changes You might do in my heart."
"Will you trust Me?" was His question.
"Lord, I want to trust You, but You have to understand that I am already odd. I am already different. I already have different values. I already cannot find my place among young people of my age because we do not have too many things in common. I am simply afraid that these changes will make me be even more odd."
"Will you trust Me?" He asked again.
"I want to but I can't! I am afaid!"
So He kept asking for an answer until I gave in again: "Lord, I know I cannot trust You but I want to. Take away my fear!"
That is all He was waiting for. And then, peace and joy flooded my heart.

So, this is what I believe, the beginning of a new chapter of my life. I do not know where He is leading me, I do not know what the future holds. I just know that, for now, I am called to rededicate my life to Him, to stay on my knees and hold on to Him until He blesses me and those I am praying for, and to do my best as translator. I just know that prayer, the exemple of strangers who are men of prayer and the friendship of godly people who are prayer warriors has changed my life and have challenged me to become a woman of prayer. No wonder why I lately felt the need to spend a lot of time alone with the Lord and why I am not looking anymore to my friends and my social life for fulfilment.

So, I believe that I would never be the same again! I know that He is faithful and will finished the work that He has started in me.

In His Presence...

2011-05-09T21:06:00.004+03:00

I have to admit that is has been a while since He spoke to me in such a direct manner. But He did it again, as He always does when I need Him to. Not that I wanted an answer from Him, not that I was asking Him to show me the way... I just asked Him to let me know that He is near.

So, He came to meet me, and to give me answers I was not looking for. But I know now that I needed them so much. He was here and I could feel His presence. That is why tears were present. Because, whenever He is there, my eyes cannot be dry. Looking back, I realize that lately I haven't cried because I was heart broken. Every time I cried it was because He met me. His love is simply too wonderful and too amazing and my eyes cannot remain dry.

Anything is a blessing, which makes us pray! (Charles Spurgeon). This is one of the things that He told me Sunday morning. Such a message... for such a time... So, He made me be thankful for my trials. And I really am. I do not feel comfortable in the midst of turbulences, but I am so thankful for them. 'Cause they bring me on my knees.

And I am also thankful for the great people He is using to talk to me and to touch my heart. I was challenged to reevaluate my priorities this week. Oh, how I needed this... Living in the civilized world, being surrounded mostly by people who do not share my values can make me forget what I am living for. That's why He is so nice as to remind me that life is more than being surrounded by friends, feeling good and enjoying my time. And that is why He needs to remind me that I am still a missionary. Listening to Martin Kim sermon: Lord, Teach Us How to Pray is what I needed the most last Sunday morning. Wish my words could express the blessings I have received through it and what has really meant for me. But I guess that only my heart knows the joy and blessings it brought to my soul.

I had great plans for this summer... Taking a trip with my youth group and enjoying my time by the seaside was the highlight of the summer. What is better than being with friends and enjoying your time? Yet, He reminded me that there are better things. That is why He made me give my plans up, so I can do something meaningful. What is that? I am not very sure right now, but I know that it is going to be something great.

I am really excited for what He has in store for me. His plans are simply great.

Eric Ludy - Made Excellent for Marriage

2011-04-24T23:24:00.000+03:00

I have just listened to this sermon that is so inspiring. It came again right at the right time. I know that God used it to tell me again: Do not settle for less than my very best for you! Hope you will be blessed by it!

Eric Ludy - Made Excellent For Marriage from Ellerslie Mission Society on Vimeo.

I Am Not Ashamed of the Gospel

2011-04-24T08:25:00.000+03:00

This is a powerful presentation of the Gospel. I am so thankful and happy that we have a wonderful Savior who took the penalty for us, who is willing to mold us into His likeness and who is asking us to serve Him. Thank you, Lord!

The Price of My Faith

2011-02-25T20:52:00.000+02:00

I went with my youth group to a country-side church to hold the church services there. Just seeing how happy they were to see so many young people in their church was enough for me to make me happy that I went. Though I was not planning on it, I was happy that I decided to go as soon as I got there.

At noon, before the AY program, I started to talk to one of the ladies from the church. And she shared with me some things that made me realize one more time that I am so blessed.

She became an Adventist two years ago. Once she started to attend the church, she encountered problems in her own home. Her husband, mother and father-in-law started beating her. To make things worse, she became pregnant though she was in her early forties. Many times she was beaten so hard that she had to leave the house. One time she went to an Adventist shelter, but couldn’t live without her two other kids who were at home, so she decided to go back. Another time, she told me that she was heading to the church when her mother-in-law came with a basin full of dirty water and splashed it on her. She used to work , but, since she has a one-year old son, she cannot work anymore. Many times, she didn’t have anything to put on the table, but God provided for her so far.

So, while she was telling me about her hardships, instead of being sorry for herself , I felt happiness that she found the Lord in her voice. “I don’t want to go back in the world” she told me. “I am so happy that I have found the Lord.” How could she, when she has so many problems at home? some would ask.

Yes, some of us have to pay a price for following the Lord. In fact, all those who truly want to follow the Lord have to pay a price. For some the price is smaller, for some bigger. I have a family of friends who lost their four year old son to malaria while serving God as missionaries in Chad (you can listen to their testimony here). Do you think that this made them give up to the mission work? No, it didn’t. They are still there.

Yes, some of us are asked to leave family and friends behind, some of us are asked to leave the comfort, or maybe some other thing we hold dear to our hearts. How much are we willing to give up, just to be able to be close to the Lord?

I believe that God is sending a “wilderness experience” in the life of each one of us to prepare us to follow and serve Him. I am so encouraged by the story of Joseph, and Daniel, and Ruth and Esther. They are people who faced trials, who passed through wilderness where they learnt to follow the Lord. When God is sending us in the wilderness, it is because he wants to prepare us for something great, for the big plans that He has for us.

So, how much are we willing to pay just to be able to be with the Lord?

He Knows My Fears

2011-02-25T20:49:00.000+02:00

One of my biggest fears when I came to Bucharest was that I will not be able to find a church with a group of active young people. I hated the thought of going to church, sitting in a chair and listening to the sermon and than going back home, having no friends in church and doing nothing for the Lord. The perspective of not finding my place in the church scared me to death. Why was I so scared? Because I spent several summers in Bucharest in the past years and I have felt like a stranger. I simply found no joy in going to church. Sabbath School was boring and I hated to be a mere spectator.

While looking for an apartment, one of my friends told me about a girl who is also looking for an apartment and some girls to rent it with her. I didn’t know her, but we started talking on the phone and looking for an apartment to rent together. I didn’t know who she was and I simply do now know why I trusted her, but I know now that it was God who allowed my heart to trust.

Not only that we rented together an apartment, but also started to attend the same church. The first Sabbath I went with her to church, her youth group decided to have a rehearsal at noon. They were preparing to go to a country-side church and spend a whole Sabbath there to bring joy to the 30 members of that church.

I didn’t want to stay, but Christina insisted that I stay and sing with them. Though I didn’t know most of the young people, I felt at home. It so “happened” that they didn’t have anybody to play the piano for them, so I found something to do right away. And when I think that this was only my third Sabbath in Bucharest, I realize that the answer to my prayers came faster than I anticipated.

I am so thankful that the Lord showed me one more time that there is nothing I should be afraid of, because He cares about my needs... I am so happy I can gladly go to church and to youth meetings, having a Sabbath School lesson to look forward to, and knowing that I am going to meet friends, people who, like me, are seeking for the Lord. I am so happy that I can do something for the Lord with this youth group.

Yes, I realize that my faith was so small... I am so humbled by God’s love and care for me. He knew my need and had a solution prepared for me long before I was aware of it. What can I say, other than: Lord, I am in awe of You.

When God Is Enough

2011-02-14T16:53:00.000+02:00

Valentine's Day is here. I realized that when I saw the decorations in town. While surfing the net, I also came across some articles on the same topic: A Single Girl's (tried and true) Guide to Valentine's Day or How to Survive Valentine's Day If You Are Single. And all I could do was smile. But even though I had a smile on my face, I realized that they reflect a sad reality. There are a lot of lonely people for whom the burden of singleness is too heavy to bear. And this type of articles are meant to help people forget about the emptiness they feel in their hearts. They try to give some shallow solutions to a deep problem. They try to find some short-term solutions and they may work for a while. But they do not solve the real problem.

So, while thinking about singleness and loneliness, my thoughts took me back in time to the day when I first realized that marriage will not make me happy. I also remember the day when I understood for the first time that God has to be enough and everything for me if I want to be happy. That was the beginning of an unforgetful journey with God. A journey with ups and downs. It took time for the truth to sink in. It took time for me to learn to let God control this area of my life. It took time to learn to be content in my singleness. And even though I was slow, I am happy that God had not given up on me.

If today I am happy as a single person, is because God is enough for me. He is everything for me. If I am content, it is because I chose to enjoy life as it is now. I chose to serve and I find joy and fulfillment in my service. I chose to give Him my future. I chose to give Him my dreams and my desires. I chose to give Him the pen to write my love story in His own time. And I know that He is working on it. Marriage is not the ultimate relationship we were created for. A relationship will not make us happy if we were not happy before. Until God is enough, we will never have enough.

Yes, there are days when I feel lonely. There are times when I ask Him: how long? And, yes, I have unanswered questions. But since God is enough, I can live with unanswered questions, I can still be content and happy because I give Him my burden, because I trust Him and because I know that, whatever He does, He does it for my best. You see, I can enjoy life because it is not about me. It is about His plans for me and my salvation. If He promised to lead me, why should I worry? If it is all about me being saved, why would I want a relationship at the price of my salvation? I asked Him to do anything that it takes to mold me and shape me into His likeness, and I believe that this is what He is doing right now.

So, praise God that I can say today: Jesus Christ is more than enough for me. It is all because of Him and His love for me.

The Power of the Gospel

2011-02-04T11:37:00.001+02:00

I listened to a sermon while coming to my office this morning. In fact, I am taking an online class about the Holy Spirit (I will tell you more about it later on) and one of the requirements of the class is to listen to a sermon every week and answer some questions about what I listened to. So, I was listening to Dan Vis' message when it struck me. It is not a new message, but it is just what I needed to hear this morning. The Gospel is a source of power, the Gospel is very practical and simple. The Gospel is not just theory or something abstract. It is supposed to be a power source in our life. The reason why so many young people are leaving the church today is that nobody has taught them how to make the Gospel a source of power in their lives, said Dan Vis. And he is so right!

Than, he goes on to talk about the connection between the Gospel and the Holy Spirit, and the power of the will. He reminded me of the first time I finally understood how everything works. I remember that I was in the jungles of Guyana. I had many struggles, I had things I was trying to surrender and give up to, but I failed every time I tried. Than, one evening, our principal's wife had the talk for the evening worship and she shared with us something that I will never forget, something that changed my life forever. That evening I finally understood that I have to understand the true force of the will, that everything depends on the right action of the will. God gave us the power of choice. We cannot chose to do what is right, we cannot change our hearts. But we can choose to give our will to Him. Than, He will work in us to will and to do as He wants (Steps to Christ, 47). From than on, I made a habit of surrendering my life to Him every morning, before I get out of my bed. And life was so much different from that day on...

Then, this morning I understood something else that I am sure will change my life completely. "Our will is to be yielded to Him that we may receive it again purified, refined..." (Thoughts from the Mount Of Blessings, 62). So, when we give our will to God, He transforms it and gives is back to us to exercise it.

I could go on and tell you all the wonderful things that God has been teaching me through FAST Ministries. FAST Ministries is an endtime movement, committed to calling God's people back to the Bible. Their goal is to equip believers everywhere with cutting-edge tools to memorize Scripture, apply it to their life, and pass it on to others. Meeting Dan Vis & team over a decade ago and their friendship over all these years has been a great blessing for me. I just want to encourage you to visit FAST website. It has many great resources. One of the things I like about Dan Vis is that he is really practical. I believe that the Gospel is very simple and practical. And that is the way he presents it.

Thankful for Tears

2011-01-28T22:13:00.004+02:00

I went to church tonight. For those of you who do not know, the Romanian Hope Channel is broadcasting an evangelistic series. At one point in the presentation, while talking about the meaning of life, Pastor Lucian Cristescu talked about a lady who dedicated her life to helping the poor people of Haiti. Then, he talked about a dentist, a Romanian guy, who has taken a lot of mission trips to Africa and South America to help the sick people in isolated places of the world. I tried to hold back my tears but I just couldn't. Every time I hear a mission story or see a presentation about mission work, tears start streaming down my face. I just can't help it. Why am I crying? Because they remind me about a life full of meaning. Because my heart is there. I am not cut out for an office life. I don't know why I have to sit in front of a computer 7+ hours a day. But I am not asking God why because I know that He knows why. I trust Him and I know that this is His plan for me now. And His plan is for my best. Believe me, I am not a person who cries easily. But there are a few things that instantly bring tears to my eyes. I have just talked about one.

This is for the second time my eyes are flooded with tears this week. I talked to a friend this week. We finally found some time to talk since both of has had a lot of work to do. She is a little bit older than me and got married a few months ago. We haven't seen each other in a long time and she promised to share with me her love story whenever we have the time to sit down and talk. For those who do not know, I love to hear people talking about they way God leads them. And I love to hear love stories written by God's hand. As she was sharing with me the details of the story and telling me all the things that God has done for them, I could feel so much excitement in her voice. She was so excited about the way God has led her. At one point in time, I chocked. My eyes were flooded with tears. I was trying to hold them back but I just couldn't. How could my heart be unmoved when I see how good the Lord is? Seeing that God is so faithful and that He always rewards those who patiently wait on Him is simply moving me to tears.

So, I thank God for tears. I thank Him for the wonderful years that I have spend in the mission field. And I thank Him for people who are faithfully waiting on Him. They are such an inspiration to me. I am not afraid to cry because it is a sign that the Holy Spirit is moving upon my heart, that He is there to remind me that life with God is wonderful.

The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey by Henri Nouwen

2011-01-22T10:20:00.005+02:00

A friend of mine posted these quotes that I absolutely liked. So I asked for his approval to post them here. He was so nice as to grant me permission. So, here they are.

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

"You don't think your way into a new kind of living. You live your way into a new kind of thinking."

"Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering. What we desire most is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it."

"To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. The movement from loneliness to solitude, however, is the beginning of any spiritual life because it it is the movement from the restless senses to the restful spirit,l from the outward-reaching cravings to the inward-reaching search, from the fearful clinging to the fearless play."

"Ministry means the ongoing attempt to put one's own search for God, with all the moments of pain and joy, despair and hope, at the disposal of those who want to join this search but do not know how."

A Time for Everything

2011-01-21T18:52:00.006+02:00

“There is a time or everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...” said the wisest man on earth under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. And I have come to realize more and more how true he was. It seems that the time has finally come for me for some major changes. I knew that they would take place so I kept asking myself if I am ready. And every time I would get to the conclusion that I do not know because one does not know if he is ready or not until he is faced with the real facts. That is why I waited for the facts in order to see my reactions and my adjustment skills. I have also asked myself what are the things that I would enjoy doing here, back in Romania. That is another impossible question. I really didn't not know what I would enjoy doing... my life for the past 5 years has been so different... I have found so much fulfillment in what I have done that I really did not know what else I could enjoy doing. But God had the answers for me, and I knew that He would take upon Himself to answer these questions.

I was in the library last week working on the thesis, when my phone called. It was my dad. He said that he met the Romanian Hope Channel director and he asked about me, where I am presently? what I am doing? A few hours later he met again my father and asked him: “Can you, please, tell Raluca to come to see me on Monday?”

So I made my way to the Hope Channel headquarters on Monday. The meeting was brief and target-directed. There was an opening for a translator job. “Do you want it or not?” was his the question. I was not enthusiastic at all... but I said yes. I was given a test: an one-hour sermon to translate into Romanian language. I did it the very next day. By 6 PM, my translation was on its way to the director's email address. At 7:30 PM of the same evening I was asked if I could be in my office the next morning. Huh... kind of fast... I didn't expect it so fast.

Am I ready for the change? Am I going to enjoy sitting in front of a computer and doing translation work? The same two impossible questions... I knew that time has come for me to find an answer to these questions. Am I ready to find out the answer? Ready or not, I was going to find it soon and continue to find it as the time goes by.

So, here I am, from the life of a free jungle and desert bird to the confinement of an office... Listening and translating sermons into Romanian language is not bad at all... So far I really like what I am doing. I've been so blessed by the message of the sermons on Revival and Reformation that I have translated so far. So, little by little, I finally have some of the answers to my two questions. How long I will be doing this? Where should I go to worship on Sabbaths? Where can I find some people I can really connect with? You see, more questions are rising that I don't have the answers for. But I know that He already has them for me!

So, tell me that God doesn't have the big picture and that He does not want us to be able to enjoy life! I know that He does because He showed it to me one more time!

Priorities

2011-01-21T17:05:00.005+02:00

I was taking to a girl a couple of weeks ago. I don't really know her but we have something in common: both of us work for the same organization and we are also in the process of finishing our master degree having to work on our thesis. “So, are you going to get your Ph. degree as well?”, she asked me. Upon answering her that I don't want to, she said: “I want to get my degree because I have seen that University teachers have a comfortable and easy life. They usually have a business of their own while pursuing a teaching career.” Later on, while thinking about this conversation (I usually do this) I asked myself: what do I really want in life? Do I want a comfortable life? Do I want an easy a job? Do I want a predictable life? Do I want the financial security and the money of two jobs?

It did not take long before I had the answer... I like comfort, but I don't want a comfortable lifebecause I have seen that I can be really happy while living in a jungle hut. In fact, I think I was happier while living in a hut. I like doing easy stuff, but I don't want it because I want to be challenged, I want to develop and to grow. I like some of the predictable things, but I don't want a predictable life because life with God is often unpredictable. Why? Because my ways are not His ways and His ways are not my ways. So, I need to be ready to accept His leading and this means to accept a way that might not be my way. It feels good to have lots of money but I don't need and I don't want it. I have seen that God can take care of my needs if I seek His Kingdom and His righteousness. I worked as a volunteer for 5 years but I never lacked anything.

Yes, it is true that I don't want an easy and comfortable life! I just want a meaningful and vibrant life of service. This is what I have always wanted. And He gave me one. I have never thought that He will ask me to do the things that I have done and go to the place where I have been. I have never thought that He will lead me the way that He led me. So, life with God is unpredictable. A life of service means a lot of times lack of comfort, uneasiness, a lot of unpredictable situations and waiting on God. And I am fine with it because I am with God and because nothing compares with the joy and peace that come with the assurance that God is leading. It might not be easy at times, but it is worth it. It is definitely worth living a life of service for God!

So, what are the things that you are looking for? What are your priorities? What do you really want in life? Are you content with your life? Are your priorities His priorities?

I like to sit down to ask myself these questions and check if I am on the right track from time to time. If you didn't do it for a long time, I think it is high time to do it.

P.S. Choose to live a life of service! You will never regret this choice.

Depraved Indiference

2010-12-09T20:34:00.004+02:00

"God is looking for more than the money of the saints. He is looking for the entirety of their lives to be spent for the weak." Eric Ludy

Come to the Quiet!

2010-10-23T21:53:00.004+03:00

This is the invitation God addressed me a few weeks ago. I came home pretty disappointed at others and myself and with no vision of where I am heading. My Namibian experience was a meaningful one in many ways and I really enjoyed it except for one aspect: the spiritual side. My fellow missionary colleagues and I have different moral values and, consequently, I felt alone many times and at times I have to admit that I set for less than God’s best for me and that I struggled a lot with taking time for the Lord. When you wake up at 5:30 and stay in the kitchen the whole day cooking for 50-70 people, and then go back to your tent around 8:30 – 9 o’clock, believe me, it is hard to find time to read your Bible and to pray. And this schedule went on like this for a few good months. Don’t get me wrong! I really enjoyed cooking (cooking is one of my hobbies) even though I went there to start a school and not to do a cooking career. Needless to say, I came home exhausted and longing for my quiet time with my God. And, thank God I can have it and fully enjoy it! It feels so good to be able to re-consecrate myself to God and to spend quality time with Him.

For quite some time I have had this strong impression that I am starting a new chapter in my life, that God is calling me to serve, but in a different way than what I have done until now. I told a couple of friends about it. “So, what is that?” they asked me. I don’t know! I really have no idea. I just have this strong impression in my heart that God is opening a new way for me. There is nothing visible, tangible to show me that it is Him speaking but I know, deep down in my heart, that it is Him speaking to my heart. And I know it because I know my Lord, and because this is not the first time He is telling me that He is calling me to something new. Five and a half years ago, when I was working as a secretary for an SDA school, one morning, during my morning devotion I read from Isaiah. While reading, Isaiah 43:18,19 jumped out to me. I didn’t know what it meant. I just knew it is for me for that day. Later in the day I got an email telling me that, due to lack of funds, my position is dissolved. So, that meant that I was losing my job. I got panicked but as I remembered the verses, pace came over my soul. A peace that nothing and nobody can take.

So, I don’t know His plans for me. I don’t know what is He calling me to. But I know that He is calling me to service.

I was asking God one evening why do I have to spend some time at home and what are the things He is calling me to while being here. And while I was waiting in the silence, it suddenly struck me! And I could hear so clearly His soft voice. Yep, it’s time for some character shaping experiences, time to learn some very important lessons (can’t name them all because it is something personal), time to rejoice with my family, to mend broken relationships (they do not seem broken on the surface at all), to learn to accept people who are so different from me, people I find difficult to accept, time to grow especially in the area of relationships and to help others grow. So, yes, I know why do I have to stay at home for a while. And it is so good to know what is He calling me to for now. I think that it is for the first time in 6 years when I am at peace with staying at home and not knowing what is next on His agenda. (For those who do not really know me, I am a pretty active person and I like to always have something to do. Life at home can be a little boring at times :D)

I know He is preparing me for something big. Not big in people’s eyes, but big in His eyes. He has called me to the quiet for now. I have been called to re-consecration and re-dedication of my life. And this is one of the most meaningful experiences of my life.

Manliness, Part 2

2010-10-14T16:29:00.002+03:00

Eric and Leslie Ludy, two of my favorites authors and speakers, speak about manliness and femininity, waiting on God and honoring your future spouse. They might seem extreme or maybe over-spiritualizing things for some people. Not for me!

For more of their talks and books, you can go to http://setapartgirl.com/home.html or http://ellerslie.com/Home.html

Never Settle for Less Than God's Best!

2010-10-12T15:46:00.013+03:00

Settling for less than God's best for us is one of the temptations we are so often facing. And, as you can guess, one of the challenges I've been facing lately. It is so easy to decide to pursue God's very best for you when you are reading a book. But when the rubber meets the road, things are not the same. It is easy to hold on to the ideal when surrounded by people who encourage you to do so and who strive to do so themselves. But what about when people around you live their lives as if they are their own and as if there is no such a thing as God's best for them? They are content with a ordinary mediocre life. And for them this is "the best". Oh, no, they are not godless people as you may think. They say they are Christians and they love God and they serve Him. I tell you, it is so easy to forget about God's best for you when you are surrounded by such Christians. It is so easy to be content with less because God's very best for you may be equal to narrow mindedness, or stupidness or silliness or living only from books around them. You are simply outdated around such people. So, settling for less seems the perfect solution in such cases. It's so hard to be odd, to be outdated, to be just different. Mixing in the crowd is so much easier.

Most of the times we don't even realize we are settling for less because we don't do it purposely. It just comes naturally from the desire to be like all the others in the group. Just think a little, who likes to be odd? Who likes not to be able to laugh about certain jokes when everybody else is laughing? Who likes to to be laughed at because he reads his Bible in the car while traveling? Who prefers to spend the evening alone when everybody else is watching a movie (not talking about good educational movies)?

While thinking about the times when I did settle for less, I asked myself a question: Isn't pursuing God's best for me just an excuse for being picky? (I'm alluding here mainly to relationships.) I asked myself this because for many people it seems like that. Or, let me put it in some other words: I've been accused of being picky in different occasions. So it seems that what is pursuing God's best for me, for some people is just being picky. Are they right? Am I using the excuse of waiting on God's timing and God's best for me just to cover for my caprice? Just think a little: almost 30, haven't been in a relationship for more than 8 years and I have been just in one relationship all my life, I have traveled a lot in the past 5 years so I had a lot of opportunities to meet guys (they say). So I did some soul searching and asked God to show me if they are right and if I am indeed picky. And you know what He told me? He told me to wait on Him. Yes, I did settle for less but eight something years ago but I promised God that I will never do it again... "When I give my heart it will be forever and it will be because You told me to do so". And, thank God, He helped me keep my promise. I know that I am waiting on Him. For those who think that I have to do something concerning this issue, I might be picky. But I know that my life is in His hands and that I am seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness and that He will take care of all my needs. Yes, I am an old fashioned girl and I am proud of it! I believe that my Father is looking after me so I don't have to go looking around.

Settling for less... I fell so many times unwillingly in this trap for the past months... just because I was so tired to be different, to be odd. But God has been gracious, as always, and sent me messages to show me that I should not be settling for less. He used the book Authentic Beauty by Lesie Ludy to remind me that I should not be settling for anything less than His very best for me. I might be odd, I might be old fashioned, but I do not care! He was odd, too!

So, thank God that every time I tend to drift away, He is right there sending me signals that I am going in the wrong direction. And He patiently waits for me to get the message and come back on the track.

Note to self: Don't you ever settle for less than God's very best for you, Raluca!

Crossroad...

2010-09-26T21:52:00.006+03:00

I'm back home... In fact, I'd better say, I'm back from Africa because I'm not sure where is home. Right now I am visiting my parents in Istanbul and I will be soon heading to Romania since I miss so much my sweet nephew and niece.

What is next... is a mystery. It would be very weird to know where I am heading. :) Don't get me wrong. I would liked to know what the future holds for me and where is my next destination, but It has not been revealed to me. I'm praying and waiting and trusting that I am going to know at the right time. For now I know a few things:

- that I have to write my thesis in order to finish my Master Degree and it is going to take 3-4 months of hard and intense work,
- that I want to continue to do mission work even though I do not know what form it will take,
- that I am not going back to the same project in Namibia,
- that I am at peace with the unknown for now and with the idea of staying and working on my thesis for a few months.

I've been a volunteer for the past five years and I have enjoyed what I have done 100%. But lately I have been thinking a lot about having a job, a paid job. It hasn't been easy to depend 100% on donations even though I cannot complain. I have had everything I needed and even more. God has been faithful all these years but I keep wondering if I should do something that will help me be on my own. Is it because my age? Is it because of the discussion I had with some of my friends? Is it because of my lack of faith? There are questions with no answer for now. I know just one thing, paid or not, volunteer or employee, I will still continue to do mission work. Where? I don't know. How? It is another unknown.

I fell in love with Africa and South America. At lease, with what I have seen in the 2 countries I have visited in Africa and 2 in South America. I fell in love with a simple life, with the jungle life. The thought of having to stop going to work in these poor countries, scares me. But my life is in His hands and

“I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord, 
O’er mountain, or plain, or sea; 
I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,
 I’ll be what You want me to be.”

Somewhere, deep down in my heart, I hope to be able to go back to the African or South American continent. It remains to be seen.

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

Manliness

2010-09-18T22:25:00.005+03:00

This past 10 months that I spent in the Kalahari made me think a lot about this topic. Being one of the few girls in the camp and being surrounded mostly by men, was something new for me. But what was even newer, or, better said, shocking, was something else. It's because of who these men are that I got to do a lot of thinking about manliness and femininity. It's because of what they said and how they behaved that I analyzed the values (concerning manliness and femininity) I was raised up with over and over again and I got to build my own system of values. And it is because of them that I know better now what I like and what I don't like, what I want and I don't want in a man. (By the way, I sensed that God is bringing me over and over again to the point where people's values and behaviour challenge me to think and build my own system of values where I once just adopted my family's values. Not that I didn't know what I believed in before, but when I am challenged by a different set of values, I get to think over and over about my system of values and why I believe what I believe and even if it's not comfortable sometimes, it's really beneficial for me.)

I grew up in a family where vulgare jokes were not tolerated, where flirting, playing with hearts, using double sense language were classified as non-Christian behaviour. I was raised up being taught that character matters the most, more than the way you look, where talking about how good looking the girls are and talking only about that was not considered a good habit and showed something about a guy's character. I was surrounded by people who valued purity. My innocence was not taken as stupidness nor my purity and determination to trust the Lord in the area of dating as a relationship problem.

The encounter for an extended period of time with some other set of values opposite to mine was a little shocking for me. Not that I have not met people doing the above mentioned things, because I had. And still I was shocked. I was shocked because I didn't expected it, not in that place, nor among those people. I found myself torn between the desire not to be different, to be able to be part of their jokes and conversations, and the holding on to the values I had. Sometimes, while listening to the endless talks about that girl and the other one they have seen on the street, I felt just like and object, a sex object. Character... that is a strange and non-existent word for them. The way you look, this is what matters.

And you know what is weird? They almost made me believe that this is the world of men and I have to accept it. That they are all the same and I have to accept that I am weird. That I have to accept to feel like an object, that I have to laugh when they are saying vulgare jokes, that the words with a double meaning are something normal. That I have to get used to them turning their head on the street after some good looking girl and flirting around with strangers. That playing around with no intention of being intentional in a relationship is normal. They almost made me believe that one cannot find anymore men who stand for what they believe because the majority of them didn't really know what they believed in. They manage to shake my whole world... until I listened to a presentation that woke me up and made me realize that there are still upright people. Men who don't use dirty jokes, who do not turn their head on the street, who do not flirt and play around with hearts, who know what they believe and stand for what they believe. Men who know how to be gentleman and make me feel a woman and not an object around them. Men who love Him and make Him the object of their conversations and not the good-looking girls.

The time I spent in Kalahari made me miss so much the company of dedicated people, people for whom God is not only a nice notion and somebody you go to just when you are in trouble and need Him. People who are interested in mission and not only adventures. People who want to obey Him because they love Him, people who know what they believe and stand for what they believe. People who are asking themselves: "What does God want me to do?" and who long to grow and learn more of His ways. People who live what they say they believe. People who will not laugh at me because I took my Bible with me on a 4 days trip, and who will not call me Virgin Mary because of my innocence.

So, I thank God for sending me these challenges. They make me think... and decide for myself. And they make me appreciate more integrity and faithfulness and purity.

More Pictures of Namibia

2010-01-15T11:32:00.002+02:00

Here are the links for some more pictures of Namibia.

More of Namibia

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=49871&id=1176913306&l=8dc4dfd266

A trip to Swakopmund

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=49870&id=1176913306&l=e583efd771

God Protects!!!

2010-01-15T11:13:00.005+02:00

Living in Omatako helps me realize more and more that without God’s protection we would be in great trouble. Just a few days ago, while I was hanging my cloths on the line somewhere next to my tent, I heard a local worker calling another one. Somebody asked what happened and I heard the word the no one wants to hear here: a snake. They looked for 3-4 minutes for the snake but since the grass was too tall and they couldn’t see anything, they decided it is not worth looking for it anymore. My first thought was to call Mario (who is well known here for his ability to catch snakes) to look for it since it was so close to my tent, but I just cast away the thought. Upon finishing my job, I headed toward the bathroom to take back the bucket when on my way I met Mario. “How are you doing? Are you OK?” he asked me. I really do not know why he asked because it was not the first time we met that day. So, as an answer to my question, I told him about the snake and that the workers were not looking for it anymore. I hardly finished what I had to say that Mario was on his way to the place that I showed him. Three other people joined him. They started looking in some pipes that was stored there. The very first pipe that they took and shook proved to have inside the so wanted pray. (Later on Mario said he took another pipe in his hand but something told him to check first another one.) It proved to be a black mamba, the biggest they have ever caught in the camp. People around say that its bite is deadly. You don’t even have time to go to a doctor. In the last 3-4 weeks we have caught a few spitting cobras and black mambas (a black mamba was caught on a shelf in the kitchen). No, you tell me that God doesn’t care and that He is not interested in our safety! I see it clearer than ever that He does. And that gives me pace.

From Omatako...

2009-12-28T15:35:00.000+02:00

I know I have been saying lately that time flies away but I just can’t help myself saying that again. Almost 7 weeks passed since I stepped on the Namibian ground and it seems only like yesterday that I was in the airport saying goodbye to the loved ones. I know most of you are wondering how’s life in the desert and how do I find here. So, here I am to try to tell you about the challenges and the beauties of the desert life. As some of you already know, our camp is located in Omatako, somewhere in the North-East Namibia in the Bushman Land. 160 Km away for the closest town, we are pretty isolated, without cell phone signal or electricity. So, as you see, I’ve already got used to such condition. There are things that I experience again but there are also new experiences for me. Living in a tent is one of the new things I am trying out. My first tent was a small one, with a broken zip. No wonder that one night I woke up realizing that there is something heavy on my legs. Could it be a snake, or a dog, or another beast? You see, the boys kept finding snakes almost every day (black mamba, green mamba, cobra) and we have been also told that there are wild dogs around. I fearfully turned on my headlamp, scared to death at the thought of the things I might discover. Thankfully, it was only Luna, one of our dogs.  One other day I was cleaning my tent when I lift up a pair of pants to fold them only to discover a pretty big scorpion on them. Thank God it didn’t sting me. After only 3 weeks, I had the chance to change my residence. This time I moved into a big tent. In fact it is a married couple’s tent (there are 4 like that in the campus and I am the only unmarried person who lives in such a tent). I will have to change my big residence for a smaller one as soon as Sebastian comes but I am thankful I got to live in a wonderful place at least for a few weeks.

Living in the desert can be fun and can also be a challenge. One of the big challenges we have is not having a place to lie down when you feel tired. During day time is almost impossible to stay in your tent. At 50 something Celsius degrees, the temperature in the tent becomes unbearable. The same thing happens sometimes in the kitchen. I like heat and I am thankful that I can stand it.

So far, I have been working in the garden and in the kitchen. I am supposed to study the educational system in Namibia but we went to the Ministry of Education and they sent us to the regional offices. I am just waiting for a chance to go there, study the system and also the curriculum and try to make a curriculum for our kids. We have already 17 kids in our camp. We do not have an official school but we are trying to teach them a little bit.

Meeting Nora and going to Opuwo to visit the Himba land are two highlights of my staying so far. Nora is an Austrian teacher who was here for 8 weeks. I met her 2 weeks before she left. We both discovered we heard about Himba people and about a SDA missionary who is working with them and that we would love to find out more about this interesting people. So, as Nora’s cousin know the missionary very well, we give him a call to find out if we can go for a visit. Leaving for Opuwo was quite an experience. The car which was supposed to pick us on Monday or Tuesday didn’t show up. On Wednesday night we found out they are not going to Opuwo anymore but only to Tsumeb so we decided to hitchhike from Omatako to Opuwo (over 600 Km). The Lord was good and he arranged all the things for us. It took 6 cars and 12 hours to reach Opuwo and we reached safely. If only you could see the van’s drivers grabbing out bag and trying to persuade us to take their hike… That was really fun! As I was used to this from Guyana, it was not hard to ask them to leave us alone, to take my bag back and decide by ourselves which van we want to take. Getting to know Himba culture, visiting one of traditional villages, getting dressed (of better said undressed) in their cow-skin suits made the whole trip worth it. Then , meeting the 3 SDA missionaries that live in Opuwo and the 17 pathfinders they are working with, made it worth again. On Sabbath we had a picnic for girls. On Sabbath afternoon we went to close the Sabbath on a mountain with everybody. Friday morning we went jogging and ended up on a 6 hour hike being lost 2 times and with no food or water with us. Then on Sunday evening they had the Pathfinder investiture. Sabbath afternoon we had a Bible study with the kids. Sabbath morning I gave my testimony at the pathfinder Sabbath school group. So, as you see, we had an enjoyable trip.

Omatako and Opuwo - Pictures

2009-12-03T12:56:00.001+02:00

I still did not get the time to write a few updates but I posted some pictures hoping that I will soon post a few things about life here. Last weened Nora, an Austrian friend and I went to Opuwo where we visited the Himba land. So, enjoy the pictures!

Omatako

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45183&id=1176913306&l=7bc424a0cb

Opuwo

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45185&id=1176913306&l=ac91103582

Namibia...

2009-11-11T21:58:00.000+02:00

Here I am, in the wonderful land of Namibia. I have landed at 7 PM this morning. It’s 9 PM and it seems I have been here for at least 2-3 days. Dan Serb was talking today to Sebastian and I asked him to tell him hi and that I arrived safely. When he told Sebastian: “Raluca arrived safely this morning” I was thinking in my mind: this man doesn’t know when I arrived here. Everything is so familiar and we have gone from here to there the whole day so I have the impression I’ve been here for a few days. Yes, I’ve enjoyed every single minute since I arrived here. Meeting old friends (just a few for now) and being able to face another culture makes me so glad. When we were coming from the airport I was so happy to see again baboons (this time not in the jungle but along the road). I’ll be here in Windhoek until Friday morning when we will take off for Omatako where our camp is. So, I will hopefully be able to be back with news in 3-4 weeks.

Time for a Double Celebration

2009-11-08T22:32:00.003+02:00

“My God is great/ When He is four days late/ He’s still on time..” This is what says a song about Lazarus’ death and I Have to admit that it is so true. We’ve all passed through hard times when it seemed that God forgot about us and our problem. We’ve all been there, felt what means to be “forgotten” by God. I’ve been there myself so many times. For the past 6 weeks I’ve been waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Only four weeks ago my visa, along with the visas of 3 other friends, was denied. Plane tickets were canceled, money was lost, and we were confused but not without hope. Though it was not easy to wait, the fact that there were 4 of us in the same “pot” made things easier. At least we could encourage each other. After two weeks, two of my friends got their visas. I was happy for them but I couldn’t help the fear and doubt that invaded my soul. I just couldn’t hold back my tears for a whole morning. Why, Lord? Why do I have to wait? Why me? Do You have something else for me? Do You want me somewhere else? These were the questions pounding in my mind, questions without answers. Though I found it hard to accept that God wants me somewhere else, I just prayed that He will close the door to Namibia if He doesn’t want me there.

At the beginning of this week I told the Lord I just cannot wait any longer and I am willing to wait until the end of the week. If He still doesn’t provide the visa for us, I have to start looking for some other place where I could serve. Wednesday night I called Florin. He had no answer for us… The week was coming to a close and we still didn’t have any answer. Thursday evening I found Sebastian online and I started chatting with him. “Did you hear the news?” he asked me right away. My heart started racing. I knew it was something about the visa but I didn’t know if it’s good or bad news. “You’ve got your visas!” was his answer when I asked him what the news is. I just couldn’t believe my eyes. It seemed too beautiful to be true. I called Florin right away and he confirmed the good news. Though I do not have all the answers to the question: “Why did it take so long?” I have a few. In fact, this is what kept me and what made me hang in there: knowing and finding reasons why God has kept me back. It just “happened” that Sandro and I were the two who were left back (who else could have helped Sandro get his transit visa for Germany?), it also “happened” that two Fridays ago I was just leaving the house to go visit a friend for the weekend when a received a phone call and I was invited to speak at a Mission Festival. Then, there is this friend who, upon hearing we are still in the country, said she wants to send us some money… And, I can still go on like this with small, personal things.

Three days and I will finally be on my way to Namibia. I don’t know what God has in store for me there. I don’t know if I will find more answers to the question: “Why did it take so long?” but at this time I do not care if I do or not… All that matters is that He answered and granted our visas, and we will soon be on our way. I’ll be happy to find more reasons but if I don’t, I’ll just trust Him that He knew what He was doing.

November 10 is the beginning of the Namibian adventure… On November 9, exactly four years ago, I started my first overseas mission trip to Guyana. I had no idea at that time that, instead of spending 6 months in the mission field, I will choose to do this for as long as God needs me. I can’t believe that it is four years since my life is not the same, four years since I started to learn to love a simple life, since I found new dimensions of life, of the love for people, of the trust in God. And I know this is just the beginning.

I’m so happy God chose to celebrate with me the four years that passed since I fist left for the mission field by giving me the desire of my heart: the Namibia visa. So, it’s time for a double celebration.

Back Home, For a While...

2009-10-13T11:49:00.004+03:00

Life is full of surprises sometimes and God allows all kind of situations in our lives... As you know, I left for Cluj a week ago, then Budapest where I was supposed to take the plane for Namibia. On Tuesday we were told our visas are approved but not issued and that we should go ahead and go to Budapest because they will be issued. And so we did. We left Tuesday night and reached Budapest Wednesday morning. We waited in the airport continually checking our email and hoping that the visas will be there... The check in time came and we didn't have our visas. So we had to come back home. :D Not only that our visas were not issued but they were refused. The authorities asked for some more certificates from Pilgim Relief Society. Thank God we could change the plane ticket and postpone our departure for October 20. There are 4 of us in this situation.

So, here we are, still waiting and hoping that God will perform a miracle for us. Even though I do not want to ask God why, the question is there. Is God allowing this just to teach me some lessons and to teach me to trust Him or is He showing me that He wants me somewhere else? Or is this Satan trying to discourage me? I know for sure God allowed this with a purpose, but I can't see it right now so I keep asking myself why. Hope I will find some answers soon since the silence and darkness are becoming heavier with each passing day.

Namibia, Here I Come!

2009-10-01T13:52:00.009+03:00

Who thought just 2 weeks ago that in a couple of weeks I will be on my way to the African land? We were supposed to leave on the 14th of September. Great was the disappointment when we were told that due to the financial crises there is no money for our tickets. But we were promised that we will be leaving on the 4th of October. Two weeks before the departure date I received again the terrible new: no money so, departure is postponed again. It's no use to tell you that the disappointment was even greater. While talking to Sebastian on the phone, he told me we could come if we can pay for our plane tickets. He also asked me to let him know when we get the money so he can apply for our visas. Did I have the money? No, I had just part of the amount but I told Sebastian to apply for the visa. I knew that, if God called me there, He will provide the whole amount of money. So I just went ahead through faith. And the Lord was faithful. He blessed my faith and made it possible for me to buy the plane ticket. So, in just 5 days I will be on my way to the Namibian land along with 5 other friends.

I know that this is just the beginning of a new journey, a journey of faith, a journey of grace. I know God will work and I am looking forward to it. Right now, I am looking forward to see how He will take care of my financial needs. You see, when I bought the plane ticket, I was left with empty pockets. But I know that my God who provided the money for the ticket, will not let me go without any money to Namibia. So, I'm looking forward to seeing Him more at work in my life. I was talking to one of my friends from Namibia the other day and he was telling me that there are great things going on there. God is really working! And this is what makes me so happy!!!

Letting It Go....

2009-09-07T14:05:00.013+03:00

To let it go... one of those painful character building experiences we never want to experience. But we all pass through here and we all have to let go from our lives certain things or certain people sooner or later. Why is it that it so so painful the process of letting go? We can surely live without those things or those persons in our lives.

I've done a lot of thinking over the matter lately and I've got so some conclusions. They are surely not new things, but they have now a new meaning for me. A new meaning in a new setting created by the events God allowed in my life.

When we have something or somebody in our lives, things or people that we cherish, things or people that are so important to us, they make us feel secure, they give us a reason of living and being, a reson to smile and laugh, to look forward to the future. We may feel that with them we can go through everything in life because we know God brought them there. Once they disappear, once God considers He has to take them back or allows Satan to take them, we lose the security, the identity, the reason to smile and look forward to the future that came along with them.

I have wondered over and over if it is wrong to find our security and identity in things or people. Is God asking us to find those things just in Him? Are we to go ahead in life without having something material that will give us a reason to live and laugh and enjoy life? Are we supposed not to get attached to things and people and to live an austere life? What's then the purpose of everything that God sends us?

I see our identity, out reason of being and living, our sercurity like a tree. A tree with deep roots, with trunk and branches and leafs and flowers. I think that the root belongs to God, that the root is the identity, security and reason of living that we find in Him and Him alone. And I also see that trunk and branches are the material things, the people that he sends in our lives to give us an identity and security and a reason to live and enjoy life. Sometimes, God considers the tree needs some adjustments, some more shaping and He cuts a brench here and there. Sometimes the shaping process needs cuting the whole trunk. But if the roots are well anchored in Him, if the tree finds the source of life in Him, then the roots will feed the tree and a new trunk and new branches will grow again. Finding our identity and security in things or people is not wrong as long as we have our roots in God. Because it is Him who gives us things and people, sometimes for a longer period of time, sometimes for just a while, so we may enjoy life, so we may have the power to smile and be glad.

I realised that what brings the most pain a lot of times is not losing the thing or the person in itself. Sometimes the pain that is the most painful is losing the security and the identity that came along with that thing or person. This happens because it's normal that with the time, we get used to not having the presence of those things and people in our lives but we certainly cannot get used to having emptiness, the insecurity and the lack of identity that their disappearance brings.

If God was to ask me to leave the mission work and do something else (I know He will not do that but let's just suppose), I know my world will be terribly shaken. I know that I will lose my identity and security. Because for me mission work is one of the reasons for living and being.

Though it is hard to lose both things and people I must admit that losing the latter is much harder. It takes a lot of courage and real love to be able to let them go. It takes real love for them and real love for God. Would we risk to ask God to give them to us at any price, at the price of their hapiness and their salvation? Have you ever prayed for somebody that God will not give them to you but do what is the best for them, for their salvation? As young people when we admire somebody, can we pray that God will give them the person that will make them happy, that will help them shape their character and be saved? Can we say "Your will be done" when it comes about being with someone we cherish? If we can, than we should know that this is true love. Yes, sometimes love means to be able to let him/her go because their happiness and salvation matters to us more than having them... Because true love is unselfish. We may understand or we may not understand why God brought them for just a period of time in our lives, but we should know that He surely had a purpose. And if they helped us be better persons, if their presence brought a smile on our faces and made us feel secure, we should be thankful.

So I thank God for teaching me to let go of things, to let go of people and also for teaching me to be happy that I had them even for just a while. He surely knows what He is doing. And I'm sure it's for my best.

Some of you may think I'm talking from books. Let me tell you that I'm not.

Freedom

2009-09-05T18:36:00.006+03:00

Have you ever found yourself wanting to be free from your desires? I'm not talking about bad and sinful desires. It's all about good and legitimate desires. I do find myself sometimes in that position. There are good things that I deeply cherish and I surely would like to have them. But sometimes, instead of asking them from the Lord, I'm just asking Him to take away the desire to have them. Maybe it's because sometimes I become their slave and I tend to live in the future and forget to enjoy what I already have... Maybe it's because I am afraid I will never have them. Or maybe it's because I've prayed for some of them for such a long time and I didn't find any answer... Don't get me wrong. I'm not tired of praying for them. It's just that I want to be free, to be able to always enjoy life just as it is. I've always been a dreamer and I always liked to live in the future. Thank God He started to teach some time ago me to live and enjoy the present (it all happened while working in the jungle). So I'm still learning to live with my desires in the present... I guess that when I learned that lesson I can say I am trully free. Will I ever learn it?

It seems we finally have a date for our departure for the African land. October 4 is the day when we are supposed to take off for the Kalahari Desert. Though there is dissapointment in my heart because I was hoping we would leave earlier, I am also at peace because I know this delay has a purpose and it is for my best. I miss working for those helpless people. I find myself more and more not finding my place here... Home is one of those words I can't really say I know the meaning. It's good to be with my family but I long to be there where I find a reason for my existence, where what I do gives me a sens and a reason of being and living. So, right now I am learning to live with the desire of being there and enjoy the life I have right now.

Waiting Season... Again

2009-08-29T10:50:00.003+03:00

It seems that the Lord considers that He has to work on my patience again so He keeps creating situations in which my patience is tested. We were supposed to leave for the Kalahari Desert sometimes around September 15 but so far we are not sure when we will be leaving. We might be leaving when we were supposed to, or we might be leaving later. It all depends on God and on His timing. We are waiting for Him to provide the funds for our plane tickets. So, I am back to where I was every August for the past 4 years. The good news is that even if I had to wait, God never failed me and He always sent the money I needed. I know that, if He keeps me here longer, He has a purpose. It's all about His timing. It is not easy to wait. It is much easier to become tired of waiting and restless. But I am learning to wait on Him even when I want so much to be able to do certain things right away. There are around 23 of us supposed to leave so please keep praying for us and for the money we need in order to leave for the African land.

Master Classes Are Over...

2009-08-04T11:49:00.003+03:00

Master classes are over and I am happy and thankful that Sebastian sent me back from Vanuatu to take the last 3 classes in order have all the credits for my Master. I have learned a lot of useful things this summer. I am especially thankful for my Leadership class and for the amazing teacher I had. It has challenged me a lot and helped me understand some vital principals in leadership. I know God worked all the things out for me to be able to come back and attend these classes. I think that Carmen (Sebastian's wife) was right when she wrote me: "I have a feeling that all this amazing knowledge will soon serve a great purpose". It might not be great things in people's eyes but I am sure they will be great things in God's eyes.

For the last two Sabbaths Sandro (my Guyanese student) and I have been traveling to share with people our testimonies and the amazing things God has done for us. Two Sabbaths ago was for the first time when I heard him sharing his testimony... It was so powerful!!! I love listening to him sharing the way God changed his heart and the amazing way He worked in his life. When I think where he was just a year and a half ago (from all the points of view) I can only thank God for the way he worked in him and for him.

Just yesterday I came across a Sebastian's transmission from Zambia for the Loma Linda SDA Romanian Church from last Sabbath. I was so thrilled to find it. It made me miss Africa so much. It also brought tears to my eyes. :( I try to hang it on there since there are just a few more weeks left...

Right now I am getting ready to leave for Spain to spend a couple of weeks with my dear friend, Ana and share with some more churches about the amazing things God has done for me. Then I will be back to get ready for the next adventure of my life.

Priceless Moments...

2009-07-04T17:56:00.003+03:00

Five weeks passed since I returned from the wonderful land of Vanuatu. Time is really flying away and I am glad since I can hardly wait to leave for the African land.

Two weeks after I came home I went to Vama for the graduation of the last generation of trained missionaries of Pilgrim Society. Sandro, my Guyanese student, was one of them. You have no idea how happy I was to see him graduating and to hear only good reports about him. We had an awesome weekend. Being able to meet my fellow missionaries from other projects and interact with them was a tremendous blessing for me. Most of us are going to the same place this fall: Namibia. So, getting acquainted with them was important for me. They all know each other since they have all attended classes in Vama but since I am an intruder I do not know all of them. So far, I am Pilgrim’s only long-term missionary who was not trained in Vama. There was something that really struck me. Something that I really like and that I have never experienced too much in the last 4 years since I am in the mission field. I call this the family feeling. Yes, I feel I belong to a family and I realized how important it is for me to feel I belong to a family when my own family is so far away. I was amazed of how well I fit in even though I have met some of these people for the first time. After 3 years of loneliness in the deep jungles of Guyana, I value so much the family feeling. Only when one has to be alone in a different culture and when he has nobody who really understands, that’s when he learns to appreciate the friendship and company of people who can understand because they come from the same culture. What makes also a difference is the type of relationship we have with the “big boss” (how I jokingly call him). The fact that Seb is always there for us and never too busy to talk to us or listen to us, the fact that we feel he cares and we are important to him makes such a huge difference for me. You see, I value so much these things because I didn’t really have them before.

The Vanuatu team spent the Sabbath in Suceava where we were invited to present glimpses of our time and mission in Vanuatu. We had a blessed time, indeed. Sharing from God’s goodness and love for you, it always brings a blessing upon you since it helps you realize more how good God is.

A week later I found myself in a classroom trying to get used to the thought that this is where I will spend my time for the next 6 weeks. After so much liberty and after being so much in the wilderness, having to be confined in a classroom for half of the day and then in the library or one’s room for the other half is not such a bright perspective. But when one loves the subject and when the teacher knows how to present things in an attractive manner, it makes things easier. The week didn’t start too good for me. Some abdominal pain made me want to seek the advice of a doctor. After a clinic exam I was told I might have kidney infection so I was prescribed medication for this. Having no time for some other investigations, I decided to start taking the medication even if I was not 100% sure of the diagnostic. But then, my stomach decided to rebel against the medication. So I could hardly concentrate on my classes, I couldn’t work on my homeworks because of the stomach ache for the whole week. The pain reached its climax on Friday morning when I just couldn’t bear it anymore so I asked somebody to take me to the hospital. After spending a few hours there and getting an intravenous injection I came home hoping and praying that I will feel better. Believe me, you don’t want to be a patient in some of the Romanian hospitals. While I was the relying on the hospital bed, a wave of desperation hit me. I felt so helpless… I had such a strong feeling of uselessness and I knew that’s not the place I want to be. So I told the Lord I do not need anything else but health and power to be able to do something for people who need help.

The Lord heard my prayer and the next day (which incidentally was a Sabbath and also my birthday) I felt good. I spent the Sabbath in nature, just God and I and the Bible. So far I think it was the perfect birthday… I had so many reasons to be thankful for: the day started with phone calls from friends who thought about me (I have never thought some would remember my birthday and that’s why their phone calls are so priceless for me), then I was feeling well, no more stomach ache, then the precious time spent alone with God and the peace and blessing I received through it … It was just enough to make my day and make my birthday special.

Vanuatu in Colors...

2009-06-06T14:58:00.001+03:00

Here are some links to some more pictures from Vanuatu. Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=26800&id=1176913306&l=50d02bad5d

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=27210&id=1176913306&l=5374558e0d

Back Home...

2009-06-04T18:49:00.003+03:00

Life has been full of unexpected things lately... Things have not been as I have planned them. As I have told you, I was not planning on going to Vanuatu. But when the Lord said something, I had to obey. Then I was planning to come back home in December but the Lord changed again my plans. So, here I am, back in Romania for a couple of months. I am so thankful for the blessed time I had in Vanuatu. The Lord taught me many things there. I have also seen some other sides of life... and experienced things I have never experienced before. God knew I really needed this experience. It was a wonderful gift and I thank the Lord so much for it.

Now, new chapters of my life are waiting to be written... The Lord had so many surprises for me so far and I am sure He will continue to surprise me and continue to give me more wonderful gifts. So far it seems that the new destination will be Africa but only the Lord knows what is next... I'm looking forward to seeing God's leading. I know I am in His hands and I am sure He has wonderful things in store for me. Didn't he promise that "eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him" (1 Cor. 2:9)? I've seen this promised fulfilled in my life so many times and I know this is just the beginning. So, here I am, trusting and waiting for the Lord to fulfill what He has promised in Jeremiah 33:3: ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’

More About Malua Bay

2009-04-16T08:44:00.001+03:00

5.04.2009

Three weeks have passed since I came here. I am so happy I moved into my house. Even though it has no windows and I do not shelves for my books and cloths, it feels so good to have your own house, my own place. It is true that the rats and ants are going all over the place at all times but I still prefer living here than with some other family. I watch the rat every night running on the beams of my house and I also hear it every night when it comes to check what I have in the kitchen. So I have my own Zoo in my house. Sometimes we play hide and seek.  It’s been also good to be able to cook for myself. Somebody gave me a propane tank and another person a stove so I can cook in my house. Last week people kept bringing me fruits and vegetables. I had so many that I didn’t need to cook and I have also shared some with other teachers. I have eaten so far lots of papaya and avocado and pomelo.

I have finally started using the drum-oven since some students set it up for me. The firewood that people use here is very light and it takes lots of it to be able to bake but it is good to have something than nothing. So every Friday I bake bread and usually some banana bread and I share most of it with teachers and the church members at the fellowship launch on Sabbath.

Being a single girl has sometimes some disadvantages in the jungles. One of them is that people try to marry you. I have three options so far . There are two families who said they would like me to marry their sons and the minister’s wife wants me to marry her brother. So it is hard to choose at this time !!! I keep telling them I am not going to marry a ni-Vanuatu boy but it seems useless. It’s good that none of these boys are here in the village. This makes things easier for me for the time being.

I like so much the schedule I have here. Usually I wake up around 5, 5:10 and I go jogging for 35-40 minutes. Then I stop on the shore to talk to God. After that I go and take a shower, then I go and read my Bible. At 7:45 I have to go to the teacher’s worship. After the worship I come and eat if I do not have the first class period. It’s soo good to be able to stay on rock on the shore and talk to God… Sometimes on Sundays or when we do not have classes, after I jog I go to pray and read also my Bible on the shore. I just love this jungle life. I wouldn’t trade it for nothing in the world.

News from Malua Bay

2009-04-16T08:38:00.003+03:00

21.03.2009

Dearest friends,

Here I am, in the middle of the jungle with limited access to electricity but happy beyond measure and content with what I have got. I’ve been in the deep jungle of Malekula Island (Malua Bay) for about a week after spending 3 weeks in Port Vila, the capital city of Vanuatu.

After spending a week here I understand now why Sebastian fell in love with the people of Vanuatu. I felt at home right away. The friendliness and care of ni-Vanuatu people is beyond imagination. They have taken care of me as of their own child.

Life is just like I have imagined it will be: simple and beautiful, no stress, no reason to hurry. Life is just following its own way.

Right now I am living with the minister’s family since my house is not ready. They have built it in two days but they made no windows and partitions and it has no door. My house is just as I have wanted it to be: made out of bamboo with grass roof. I still need a kitchen but I understood they can build it in a day from the same materials: bamboo and grass. So it can be built pretty fast if only these people knew what means to work a little bit faster. They have just two gears: the rear gear and the first one. Believe me, they are just taking their time and know not what means to hurry a little bit. So I have to adjust to their style…  I do not find it too difficult because people in Guyana were almost the same. I know accepting them will be a real challenge for some people who are used to work fast. 

The first bath I took here was a real challenge. I laugh now when I remember it. My host has pointed a pipe with no walls around that was in front of the house and said I can take a shower. How???? was my question since I have no privacy and everybody can see me? So I had to try to take a shower just so… Next time I wanted to bath I told my host I want to go to the river and that is where I have gone to take a bath ever since. So, thank you, God, for rivers. Not all the villages are blessed by the presence of a river but we are and I am more than happy about it.

I have already started to teach. I am teaching English and Religious Education for grade 7 and 8 (17 hours a week). I took over the classes of the school principal. The school is a SDA private school and has 82 kids from grade 1 to 8 and 8 teachers including myself. For English I have the books and the syllabus from the government but for the Religious Education I have only the notebooks from 2 students from last year. So I have to guess what I need to teach. The problem is that they have an exam at the end of the grade 8 and he students need to know what the government is asking them to know. I wish you could see how they teach here. It’s pathetic. They are just copying on the blackboard what is in the teacher’s text book, even the requirements that are addressed to the teachers and tell what to do in class. I wish we had our own school and I hope we will, soon. A big problem here is that the students do not really know English because they speak Bishlama and dialect at home and because the teachers have also taught in Bishlama so far even though they were supposed to teach in English. So that makes the process of teaching slow but at least they understand something so I am happy about that.

When I am not teaching, I am helping Cloudine, my host, in the kitchen. They have treated me as a queen and if it was for them I didn’t have to do anything. But I insisted that I help her cook and wash dishes and clean and wash my own cloths. If it was for her she would have done all these things by herself. This past week she taught me how to do simboro, a local food that is like the cabbage rolls but has cassava or yam or taro or banana inside and that is boiled in coconut milk. While we were cooking some ladies came and were so surprised to see the “white man” (that’s how the kids and even the adults are calling me here) cooking local food. They said they have never seen a white lady making local food and they have never thought a white lady can cook their food. This past week the church had a family revival series so we have attended church every evening. While the pastor was preaching I usually took a child in my lap and at the end I would play with some children. When the people saw this they told him that I must be a good lady since I am playing with the children.

Baking has been a real challenge for me since we do not have any oven. My host knows how to make bread so we bought some flour and have baked bread in a pot over the fire. I have also decided to teach them to make some cakes with the local stuff since they do not know to make any kind of cake. So I made some cassava pond and pumpkin and coconut pie. As I have told you baking was a real challenge but we did it… You should see how surprised they were especially about the cake with cassava (or manioc how they call it here) and coconut when we shared with the villagers at Sabbath fellowship launch the cakes we made. Some of them told my host they want me to teach them how to bake. I have just bought a drum on Friday in order to make an oven (I will just suspend it on some stones and I will make fire on top and at the bottom). Oh, how I thank the Lord for the experience from Guyana. I have learned there so many useful things about cooking and baking in the jungle with the local stuff that they are growing here. I have no words to describe my thankfulness for everything that I have learned there. I am also thankful that they have almost the same greens and vegetables and roots.

The English they are using here is funny at times. For instance they will say they are going to swim when they want to say they are going to take a bath. Or when somebody wants to talk to me they will say they want to tell me stories. They also sometimes say that they drink instead of eat. For instance they will say they want to drink pomelo or pawpaw. It is also funny how they use good night instead of good-bye. So, even if it is noon or morning they will say good night. The way they say how they are related is very strange for me. For instance they call their uncles and aunties dad and mom, they will call auntie their cousin. When a lady is talking about her husband she will say “dad for Jerry” (with Jerry being her son). And I can go on like that.

People are not really using the time here. If you ask them what time is church or any other meeting they will just tell you to listen to the bell. The school and the church have a bell (you can see it in my pictures) and they ring it 60 times, then 30, 15, 5 and 2.

Back to the Civilization for a Few Days

2009-04-16T03:17:00.003+03:00

Here I am, on Santo Island for a few days after almost 5 weeks of no Internet access... I have come to get my visa and I am thankful to have a few days off from school and to be able to meet Mario and share how God is working in our lives. It thrills my heart when I see that God is at work and that He is so mighty and powerful. Believe me, we have lots of stories to share (as ni-Vanuatu people would say). Mario and I have been going all around the town yesterday afternoon and today shopping and trying to do everything we need to do before we go back on Monday to our villages. I am so thankful he knows the town and is so kind as to take me around.

I will be back tomorrow with more news about my life in Malua-Bay and how God is working there.

If you want to see pictures just go here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=23133&id=1176913306&l=05e49779c3

Some Pictures from Port Vila

2009-02-25T08:05:00.002+02:00

For those of you who want to see pictures, go to the following webpage address to see them. The internet connection is very slow so I uploaded them on facebook. Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=363397&l=b5642&id=1176913306

First Week in Port Vila, Vanuatu

2009-02-25T07:43:00.002+02:00

Here I am, trying to give you a taste of Vanuatu. I so wish that I can bring all of you with me here so you can see it for yourself. I just love being here. I've been in Port Vila for a week. I still do not know when exactly I will be going to Malakula Island, but I think it will be in a couple of days. A missionary's life is full of surprises – I just love it. Until then, I am trying to do the shoppings (and believe me, I need to buy a lot of stuff from small things to stove and propain bottle, pots, matresse).

It has been very good to be here with my friends. I like that we are a team. God has really blessed us with a wonderful time together. I've been used to working alone and being alone and it is such a blessing that we can be here together. It is true that I will be going alone to the place where I will volunteer, but at least I will have signal for my phone and I will be able to keep in touch with my friends. I've been told that it is cheap to call here in Vanuatu.

Port Vila is a very small town. Georgetown is much more developed than Vila. They have two supermarkets. The majority of shops are Chinese shops. One can also find very expensive shops for tourists, but they are not for us.

I've been gathering information about people and customs, food and life style. I am so glad to find many similarities between Guyana and Vanuatu. A lot of the fruits and vegetables are the same (here are a few of them: papaya, mango, pineaple, bananas, pomelo, tania, sweet cassava, avocado, plus the vegetables that we are also using – carrots, peper, tomatoes, cucumber). As for people, they are as relaxed as they were in Guyana, if not even more relaxed. They are just taking their time and making sure that they do not get tired. I understood that it takes ages to start and to complete something. Why should they worry and stress when life is short? As for food, they are eating mostly Lap-lap. Even if they have vegetables, I understood that they do not know how to cook them. If one asks how to cook a certain vegetable or root, he will be told he has to boil it. That's all. Food is not really tasty because they do not know how to give taste to the food.

People are very, very friendly. I was amazed to see them greeting me on the streets of Port Vila. I was also surprised to see that it is not dangerous to walk through the town at night. Coming from Guyana where men will call you all kind of names and try to get your attention and where it is dangerous to walk through town by yourself especially at night, I really came to appreciate that people are so different here.

From what I have been told, I will be teaching in a Malua Bay SDA school. I was told that I will be living with the minister's family (they call here minister the bible worker) for a while until they will fix my house. I have no ideea what I will be teaching, or how many students has the school but I like this life full of surprises. Florin told me that they were glad to hear that I know a little bit of music.

I can hardly wait to go to Malua Bay. I know God has wonderful things prepared for me there. I know He will do whatever it takes to grow me there and to shape me more and more.

In Auckland for a Few Days

2009-02-20T05:31:00.004+02:00

We spent an awesome time in Auckland. God was so good to lead us to a pentecostal family who was so kind to keep us for almost a week. On Thursday afternoon we got to see Takapuna beach. We were supposed to go shopping on Friday and since all the stores are out of the town and we also wanted to go to the Adventist Book Center in the other side of the city (by the way, the city is 80 Km long) it seemed pretty impossible to do everything in one day. But God was good again and sent a friends of our host to take us shopping for the whole day on Friday. We only payed for his fuel. God was good and we found what we needed and even things we didn't think about but were needed in the jungle.

Sabbath morning we decided we need to go to church. The wind was blowing hard and the rain was pouring outside but we left the house. With our new raincoats and a map we started walking to find the church. So if you saw two crazy people walking in the cold weather and rain in church clothes and one of them bare feet (my new shoes made me blisters) that was Mario and I who couldn't spend a Sabbath in the coziness of our host's home.

We had a nice time in church. People were very nice and kind to us. They came to greet us and talked to us. Even the pastor came and talked to us and was impressed when he saw we are wet and we walked all the way to church (by the way, it took us 40 minutes to reach there).

I don't know how many of you know, but three and a half years ago, when I was thinking about going to Guyana I also had another option: New Zealand. They needed a secretary for 2 pastors and a youth leader. They have even accepted me to come and work only as a youth leader when I told them I hate secretarial work but I received their email a day after I decided to go to Guyana. When he pastor started his sermon and I saw his name on the screen, I realized that name is not strange at all. I knew it from somewhere. Where from was the question. It was not hard to realize that the only contact with someone from New Zealand was 3,5 years ago. So, after the sermon, I went and asked the pastor if he was looking for a secretary and youth leader 3,5 years ago. And yes, he was the one. I just couldn't believe my ears and my eyes. Here I was, 3,5 years later, visiting the very same church were I was supposed to volunteer. Isn't God wonderful?

The church invited us to stay for launch and then go with them for a baptism. Mario met an Indian guy who offered to take us to the baptism place that was next to a water fall. We had an amazing time at the baptism and then visiting a black sand beach. Just before we left, the pastor came to pray for us. It was so nice of him to do that for us. He also made me laugh... While praying, he asked God to bless out marriage life. Poor him, he didn't know we were just friends traveling together to the mission field. So, I was cracking up while he was praying. Later on, Mario had a chance to tell him we are going on separate islands. Then, he realized we are not married. Poor him, he was a little it embarrassed.

On Saturday evening our Indian friend offered to take us to a restaurant to try Indian food. Since it was Valentine's Day, the place was packed and we had to wait more than usual but is was worth waiting even though we ended up waiting around 10 PM.

Sunday morning we left for the airport bright and early since our flight was 8 o'clock. We had no idea that another surprise was waiting for us there. To make a long story short, we were not able to leave because of the same problem: their system said we need a visa for Vanuatu. So we changed our tickets for Wednesday hoping that meanwhile we will be able to get a paper that will mention the fact that we do not need a visa.

On Sunday afternoon, our Indian friend took us Rotorua, a 3 hour drive to an active volcano and a place where we could see Maori traditions and music. We had an amazing time there, took lots of pictures and enjoyed the volcano and the Maori music.

Monday and Tuesday we spend the time trying to reach a Vanuatu Embassy or Immigration office to get the papers. But all our efforts were in vain. We even went to see the honorific consul of Vanuatu in Auckland and we waited to for in the front of the house for over two hours just to realize we could have got in touch with him by phone. He promised to talk to the immigration office in Vanuatu to send us the paper. But we received no email from them.

On Monday we also went to change our tickets (Auckland - Port Vila) and to bring them from December to March. But when we went to the traveling agent, I discovered that I forgot my ticket at home. So we could only make the booking. We promised to come back the next day to change them and pay for it. The next day, since we waited in front of the house of the consul, we arrived after the office closed so it was impossible to change it. We no official paper and the tickets not changed, it seemed that everything was against us. But God knew why I forgot my ticket at home and why we arrived too late at the traveling agent. He knew that will be an expense that we didn't need to pay for since our budget was already running low because of the extra time we had to spend in London and Auckland.

Terance, our Indian friend was more than kind to us. He took us all over the town in the evenings, took us to dine in town and even gave us very nice things to remember New Zealand. We had nice talks with him and we had a blessed time together talking about God and about the way He has led us so far. He even told us that he has never been to close to anybody in the 12 years he has spent in New Zealand than he is to us. So, thank you God for people who are so willing to share what they have with strangers. I know the Bible promises that he will be rewarded for what he has done for us.

So Wednesday morning we went again to the airport knowing that chances are few for us to be able to fly since we didn't have the official paper. Believe me, I had butterflies in my stomach and I was praying that the Lord will do His will. We went to the check in desk, the officer asked for our passports and tickets, he issued our boarding pass, took our luggage and that was it. He didn't say a word about the visa, about the extra kg we had... Nothing. Mario and I were just looking at each other not being able to believe what is happening to us. Upon arriving at the gate we just prayed, as we always have done, thanking the Lord for the miracles He performed for us.

Our Romanian missionary fellows waited for us at the airport. It was a happy and joyful reunion. There are 8 of us Romanian missionaries here. We have had a great time together so far because we are a family, aren't we?

I'm not sure how long I will still be staying in Port Vila. I am supposed to go on the island of Malakula, to teach in a SDA school in Malua Bay. We will see how the Lord will lead things and where He wants me. I am sure He knows the best place for me and I am looking forward to seeing the miracles He will do for us here.

I am very, very excited to be here. I just cannot believe that I am back to the mission field and back to the jungle. This is the life that I want to live. I just love this simple life. I feel at home here even though I have never been to Vanuatu before. And I know I feel at home because I am where God wants me to be and because I want to do what He wants me to do. I know I do not deserve God's goodness and I cannot understand why He loves me so much. I just know what He loves me and this makes me sooo happy.

Please, pray for us. Satan is angry. Our friends here have different problems with visas and other stuff, but we know that God is powerful and that He will never disappoint us. We know that, if there were so many obstacles so far, it is only because Satan is angry, because he is afraid and he knows that God has might plans with us and for us here.

I will try to keep you posted with what is going on. I don't know how often I will be able to go to the internet (anyway, it will not be before a month is over) but I am happy that at least I have a phone and I will have signal there.

Trip to Auckland

2009-02-20T05:11:00.005+02:00

Where do I start and where do I end? So much has happened in the last 10 days that I feel I cannot keep up with it. I saw these 10 days the Lord working and leading me more than I have ever seen it before. I saw closed doors that I thought will never open because it was impossible humanly speaking but the Lord opened them. I have never ever lived such an adventure with God and I so glad God chose to teach me so many things while passing me through the valley of darkness.

We left Romania on Monday being supposed to stop for 3 hours in London and then in Dubai to change the planes before we were supposed to reach Auckland, New Zealand. We where were supposed to stay there for a couple of day and then continue our flight to Vanuatu.

When we reached London, we were told the plane is stopping in Australia (the ticket didn't mention that aspect – we only knew that the plane is stopping somewhere for fueling). So, here we were, needing a visa for Australia and not being able to take the flight. We could have applied for an Australian visa but that meant to stay in London for a few days. It seemed there is no way out and we have to buy other tickets but the Lord had a solution for us. One of the ladies who was working for Emirates changed out ticket to Air New Zealand so we had to stop in Hong Kong instead of Dubai and Australia. The flight was only in 24 hours so we had to stay a day in London. Thank God for Irina and Gabi who were willing to squeeze in and put us up for a nigh and for the lady who didn't charge us a penny for the change even if the ticket was more expensive.

Since we were going to be in London for a day, we decided that it will be good to see a little bit of the city. The weather forecast was not too promising. Rain and strong wind has been announced for the next day. But the Lord was good again. Not only there was no rain, but we had sunshine and a very good time visiting for a few hours the well known places.

Tuesday evening, we presented ourselves at the check in desk just to be told we cannot leave because we need a visa for Vanuatu. All our efforts and reasoning were in vain. They system said we need a visa and nothing but official papers that we didn't have could change their mind. It was late. All the check in desks were closed and a lot of officers were around us trying to figure out what to do with us. Time was passing by and no solution was in the sight. We tried to make some phone calls but nothing seemed helpful. Somebody suggested that we buy refundable tickets but we didn't have the money. And anyway, the tickets could have not been issues before long. Time was passing by, the check in was supposed to close and we still didn't have a solution. Finally, an elderly officer said: I assume the resposability of letting them go. That meant he will get a fine of 3000 pounds if we were sent back from Vanuatu because we didn't have a visa. God bless this man for his goodness. They asked us to write to them and let them know if everything was OK. So, this was again another big miracle.

Still on the Way...

2009-02-17T13:20:00.004+02:00

It's been 8 days since we left Romania. So much has happened in these 8 days that I feel I cannot keep up with everything that is going on. I tried to make a summary but I didn't have time to finish it so I will be posting it later. A summary of the summary is that Satan is angry but God is working and He is more powerful.

Until I will be able to finish writing more about the trip, I thought of posting some links with some of the pictures we have taken so far:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=18456&id=1176913306&l=4cb9e
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=18457&id=1176913306&l=94618
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=18451&id=1176913306&l=8c63f

So, enjoy!!!

Leaving... I'm Really Leaving!!!

2009-02-05T18:35:00.003+02:00

The past two weeks have been really hectic for me. Having just two and a half weeks to get ready for Vanuatu (with everything that this includes - buying plane tickets, working on paperwork, packing), I had to run from here to there. Even though I am tired right now, I am really happy. In less than 24 hours I will be on my way to the jungles of Vanuatu. I still cannot believe it!!! It's just like a dream.

God is working in mysterious ways. Last week I got my passport back from the Guyanese Embassy and I had one of the biggest surprises ever: my Guyanese visa was granted. Huh... too late. I guess the Lord knows what is He doing.

I guess I have to get some sleep so, I'd better run...

It's Official... I'm Leaving on the 9th of February!!!

2009-01-27T18:49:00.005+02:00

I just cannot believe it... Just 6 days ago I was not sure as to where I will be heading and what I will be doing. Today not only that I have an answer, but I also have the plane tickets and less than two weeks to get ready for a long, long journey. I'm speechless and overwhelmed. God is so good...

So, as I already posted, on Thursday I decided to go to Vanuatu Islands. That was all I knew. I didn't have the money for my ticket and other expenses, I didn't know exactly where I will be working, if I will be working alone or with someone else, if I will be traveling alone or with somebody else.

Just yesterday I found out that somebody else is leaving for Vanuatu on the 9th of February. That meant in two weeks. So just two weeks to get ready and 2-3 days to buy the ticket with the money that I didn't have... It seemed pretty impossible but I prayed and waited for a miracle knowing that God made so many miracles in my life and he took care of every detail and every need in the past. I didn't know how God will make it possible or if He will help me get it so fast to travel on the 9th but I kept praying. Yesterday Sebastian wrote me and asked me if I want to work alone or join some of the missionaries who are already on 3 islands. I told him that I prefer team work but I am ready to go wherever he needs me. So I let him choose for me because he knows the needs.

I woke up this morning knowing that I need to buy the ticket today even though I didn't have the money. And I did!!! Yes, I did buy it! I had to borrow some money for a while but I did buy it. Today I also found out I will be spending 2 days in New Zealand. Mario, the other missionary I am traveling with, wants to see Auckland so I will be staying, too. I am sure we will have fun. It will be a very, very long journey and I am so happy I am going to have somebody to travel with. We will be leaving from Bucharest, stopping in London and also in Dubai before we reach Auckland, New Zealand.

So, here I am, having just 13 more days to get ready... I am so happy and excited more than words can describe it. I am happy that I have a Father who loves me and takes care of all my needs and surpasses all my expectations. I feel so privileged... I feel unworthy of such a love. I know that He doesn't love me because I deserve it but because He is my Father and He is LOVE.

I Have Finally Decided...

2009-01-25T17:27:00.012+02:00

I almost cannot believe it! It's still like a dream. After pondering and praying for direction, after wondering where God wants me and where will He take me next, after trying to understand what decision I should make, after months and months of waiting and praying and hoping, here I am, having already made that BIG decision. I cannot believe the turn things took in my life. I was determined I will be going to Guyana and that God wants me there as you already know. But things got pretty rough with my visa. I just kept having obstacles in my way. Last time I called they said they didn't have my invitation there even if it was sent almost 3 weeks ago. Interesting enough, God had started to work on my heart impressing me that He might want me in Vanuatu for a few days before I found out they hadn't processed my visa. I asked the Lord to grant me that visa He wants me there and He just kept putting obstacles in my way. So, on Thursday when I found out they still hadn't worked on my visa I decided to make the decision I have never thought I would make: go to Vanuatu.

I wrote Sebastian who was waiting for me to make a decision and I told him what I have decided. He is very happy to send me there. So, the Lord solved the problem with my choice. He showed me the direction and the way I have to follow. Now, He has to provide for my needs. I do not have the money I need to travel and to live there, but I know He will provide. Every year I am faced with the same challenge when I have to leave and so far He has been faithful in providing for my needs. I just pray that He will do it fast because I am tired of the civilization and I miss so much the quiet and simple jungle life, I miss cooking over an open fire, sleeping in a hut, enjoying the tropical scenery, talking to people and find out things about their culture... He makes everything in His time so I'm waiting.... hoping that I will be soon on the way to the jungles of Vanuatu - my next earthly home for a while. Believe me, I am pretty excited about going there. I am also nervous since I am not going to an established mission like I went to in Guyana. I am going there and I will have to use all the talents that the Lord gave me to draw close to those people and befriend them, to make them my friends and make myself useful. What is really making me nervous is that most probably I will be there ALONE (Sebastian was in a hurry and didn't write too much but he said he will write again soon to give more details, but so far he sent some other missionaries by themselves), alone on an island, without any electricity and internet - I might have signal for my phone but if there is no electricity to charge it, I won't be able to use it for a long time. So, even though I am nervous, I can hardly wait to go and see what life will be like and how God will work in my life there.

So, here I am waiting for God to provide and hoping to be able to leave soon for my new home - because HOME is for me where God wants me to be.:)

My Sweet, Sweet Nephew

2009-01-18T22:22:00.001+02:00

Isn't he adorable???

Thank You, God, for Strangers!!!

2009-01-18T18:47:00.009+02:00

Yes, I thank the Lord for people that I don't know, or maybe I met them just once - strangers in a nutshell - whom He uses to talk to me, to reveal things or maybe just make things clearer for me.

This morning I decided to listen to one sermon while I was cooking. So I picked my computer and wondered if I should listen to one of Ron Clouzet's sermons that I hadn't listened to. The title didn't sound too promising to me: "Saul, Saul why persecute me?" I am not a persecutor, am I? I needed something to help me understand God's will for me... And even tough it seemed unpromising, I decided to give it a try. Little did I know that God had some many things to tell me through this sermon (I highly recommend it to everybody). He had a special message for me and I am so happy that I have listened to the still small voice that told me to listen to it.

There are many things that God told me but I will tell you just a few of them. I chose to write almost word by word the preacher's words... I wish you could listen to the sermon. It makes much more sense.

In Acts 22 Paul was the only one able to hear God's voice. Others heard something but not the voice of Jesus. The same thing happened to the people of Israel on Mount Sinai. God spoke the 10 commandments. Only Moses understood God but people heard thunder. Sometimes we think that people ought to understand clearly what God is telling us clearly. But all they hear is thunder. But sometimes that thunder is our thunder because we have heard God and we have heard Him speak very clearly to us, then we thunder to others exactly the things we think they should have heard. But is nothing but thunder to them. Jesus deals with us individually. He knows exactly the timing, the process for each one of us... I'm not trying to discourage anyone from sharing what Jesus have said to them but keep it to that. Perhaps then God will use the Spirit in terms of your testimony to say to them: I want you to think about it. We try to make up with volume for what we assume it's a failure of the Holy spirit to speak with sufficient clarity sometimes.
God's call to service is never ahead of His call to know Him. When God calls you He first calls you to know who He is and then He shows you whom He was. Are you going to let Him do that? Are you going to allow Him to take you through both these processes? Do not skip one for the other. Many of you here today are wrestling right now with where God wants you to work, whom does God want you to reach. If that is not clear to you, stick to the first part of your call: get to know Jesus. Get to know Him, get to know how you have persecuted Him, what He has done for you, how patient He has been with you, and He will show you at every corner, at every turn: these are the people I want you to reach, these are the doors that I am opening for you. He will not do that clearly until the first part of your call is settled in your heart. That's why missionaries come back burnt out. That's why people with a great zeal for God sometimes fall great distances: because they forget the first part and run away with the second. God is calling all of us to know Him personally.
If God wants you to grow He will disturb your peace.

It may not make too much sens to you, but it makes to me. I know I have concentrated so much on understanding where God wants me to be, that I forgot to concentrate on knowing Him better. If God is still silent, I know now it is because He wants to teach me to concentrate on getting to know Him. I know that He disturbed my peace just because He wants me to grow. So I decided to leave my future in His hands and to concentrate on knowing Him. It's hard to describe in words evey impression, every thought that God gave me this morning. You know, these things are not new to me, but it is amazing how God make them clearer and make them appear new just because of the vessel He uses, just because of the way somebody is presenting them.

If God talked to me today it is because of someone (a man who is completely stranger for me) was willing to share what God taught Him at GYC and because another person whom I met one time was willing to share with me the sermons he had.

So, I thank God so much for unselfish strangers!!! Even though they do not know it, if one day I will be in heaven, it is also because of them and their willingness to share what they knew or had with others.

The Promised Stories - First

2009-01-17T00:28:00.006+02:00

Three and a half years ago I was working as a secretary, not being happy at all with what I was doing. But since I knew the Lord had brought me there (that's another whole story), I couldn't leave without having the assurance that God wants me to leave. I remeber as now that on the 3rd of June, 2005 I was reading my Bible in the morning and I read from Isaiah 43:18-19: “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert."

I had been praying for guidance for some time and it seemed that God is quiet and not making His will known to me. As I was reading these verse something deep inside me told me: "This is for you. This message is especially for you." I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know why it is for me and what is it telling me but I new it is for me.

A few hours later I was in my office checking my emails when I saw a new email from the principal of the school I was working for (who was also a good friend of mine). In short, the message was telling me that I am fired. The school board decided they do not have enough money to afford to have a secretary. So, starting with the 1rst of July I was jobless. Do you want to know my first reaction? Panic. I really, really paniced. It took some time to remember the verses I had read that morning but thanks God, I did eventually remember. The result? Peace. I knew my future is in His hands. I knew He told me just that morning to forget about the former things because He is making new things for me. What were those new things I didn't know. It took 4 months to understand His new plans for me and another month to get there. Five months later I was on my way to start a whole new life in a new place, new culture, new climate... That's when God brought me to Guyana -the best years, the best time, the best experience ever.

He Cares.. He Really Does...

2009-01-16T19:56:00.004+02:00

I was sure that today I will be breaking the so-long-waited news: visa granted or not granted. In fact I hoped to be able to say: visa granted! But it seems the Lord has some other plans.

I woke up this morning and I spent time with the Lord. I have read from the Bible and Patriarchs and Profets about David - I just continued my study from where I left it yesterday. While I was meditating, I started thinking about David who was anointed when he was just a little kid and who became a king only when he was 24. In fact, he became a king only for Judah at the age of 24. Only when he was 30 the Israel accepted him as a king. What was in between? Playing the harp for Saul, killing Goliath, running away from Saul, befriending Jonathan. In fact, most of this in-between time David was chased being insecure and trying to save his life. And I couldn't help wondering why. Why did he have to run away when he was the king in God's eyes? Why did he have to have such a life when he was the one God anointed? Why did God alow him to live such a cruel life for such a long time? Just think that there were not just a few months.. there were years...

Having this in mind I started my day not knowing that God had a special message for me that I was going to understand later in the day.

When I called the embassy I had butterflies in my stomach. In fact, the whole week I could hardly eat. I could feel the stomach ache but I had no desire to eat, I felt even nauseated. I talked to the lady at the embassy and she told me she hasn't seen the invitation. Call back next weekend...I tried to talk to her see if there is any chance that I should know earlier if she found the invitation but she was very determined so I had to give up.

Then, as I was cooking today, David's story came again to my mind - and I finally understood why the Lord had me meditate on David's life this morning. If David waited for years to get what he knew it is his, what the Lord has promised Him, can't I wait a few months? I cannot tell you what a joy brought to my heart to understand the fact that God warned me, He wanted to prepare me for what was going to happen and to give me hope... Some will call it coincidence but I call it the LOVE of my Father.

You know, it is not the first time when God warns me. It is also not the first time when he uses David's story to answer a prayer, to give me direction and hope. But more about this tomorrow...

Happy Sabbath everyone!

New Year Tradition

2008-12-31T20:03:00.003+02:00

I have just come from church where we started the new year together praising God through songs and prayers and opening His Word. There is a New Year tradition in the Romanian Adventist church, a tradition that I like very much and that I haven't found in other cultures and countries. Every year we buy or make bookmarks and write Bible verses - promises and advices for the next year that we share on the Old Year's Eve. We pray that the Lord to give us what we need for the next year and share the bookmarks. God gave me so many times exactly what I needed. I have seen so many times people who had a promise just for the situation they were in, just for their needs.

For instance, for 2005 my promise was found in Jeremiah 4:3 - "For thus says the LORD to the men of Judah and Jerusalem: “ Break up your fallow ground, And do not sow among thorns." At that time I was working as a secretary in a school and I was not happy at all with what I was doing. I felt I can do more and that sitting behind an office is definitely not for me. But where should I have gone when I knew that the Lord brought me there? I didn't really know what unploughed ground I have to break up but that was the year when God took me to Guyana and when I understood I can do much more than sitting in an office and working with papers. I understand now that pursuing a teaching career is that one of the unploughed grounds.

For this year, the Lord gave me the promise from Joel 2:21-23 - "Be not afraid, O land; be glad and rejoice. Surely the LORD has done great things. Be not afraid, O wild animals, for the open pastures are becoming green. The trees are bearing their fruit; the fig tree and the vine yield their riches. Be glad, O people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before."

It is so amazing because God has been teaching me the lesson of gladness and rejoycing lately. I know God will continue to do great things for me as He is leading and teaching me more and more things.

Thank you, Lord for Your promise for this next year!

One More Year

2008-12-30T20:38:00.017+02:00

Here we are, one day before the year is over. It's time to look back to see what we have done, to rejoice about our victories and regret our failures, and also forward, to make plans for the new year. As I look back, I can see both victories and failures and even though I regret my mistakes, I have reasons to rejoice as I see how the Lord lead and taught me and didn't let me down even when I chose to go my own way. So, let me tell you a few things I am thankful for.

I am very thankful for the time I spent in Guyana. It's been a really, really blessed time with a lot of challenges. I am thankful even for the challenges because I know God used them to grow me.
I am thankful that the Lord wants me to grow and become a better person and is showing me weaknesses and things I need to change in my life.
I am thankful for my friends. They all mean a lot to me but I am thankful in a special way for Ana. There is something special about her and her friendship: we passed together through a lot of challenges, she understands my love for the mission work and especially for Guyana as nobody else does, God used her to teach me A LOT of things and her life and way of interacting with people is an example for me, she was there to encourage me give me hope when nobody else was there and I really needed someone by my side, she accepts me as I am and knows how to talk to me about sensible matters, about things I need to change in my life and make me feel during our conversation that I am precious and that I can do better. So, my beloved Ana, your friendship means much more than you can imagine. I thank the Lord for you and I only hope our relationship will deepen. Thank you for everything you have done for me.
I am thankful for getting Sandro's visa. As some of you know, sometimes at the end of September, I brought to Romania one of my former students from Guyana in order to go to attend a school that trains missionaries for remote areas of the world (for those of you who know Sebastian Tartarau, it is his school). Since he came with a short-stay visa, his visa could not be extended and we had to get a new visa for him. For two months we have worked on it. We met obstacles so many times and so many times we said, thus far... we cannot do anything about it... But the Lord has been sooo good and He worked in miraculous ways. His new visa is a real miracle. I am so thankful for those who helped us in the process.
I am also thankful for the changes I see in Sandro. He has grown a lot spiritually and not only and I am happy to see God working in his life.
I am thankful for "my wilderness". This past 3 months have been a wilderness for me but now that I can look back I can see why the Lord chose to keep in Romania and I am thankful He did.
I am so thankful because God took care of my material, financial, emotional, spiritual needs. Isn't good to know you have Someone to take care of your needs and that Someone who owns everything in this world is ready to supply for all your needs?

As I start the new year, I have hopes and desires like everyone has. I look back to see what where the hopes and desires I had for the past years and I see they have changed as I have grown in my relationship with Him. I can also see how the Lord gave me most of the things I have asked for and I am filled with gratitude. If once I used to ask for a computer, or a husband or friends, or guidance, this year my requests are a bit different. There are 3 things I am asking from the Lord:

To change me, to show me those spots from my character, those things I have to leave behind and to make me more and more like Him. It is such a joy to know I can be perfect as He is perfect and that He can truly make me like Him. So I am asking Him to make me like Him no matter what it takes.
To help me serve Him with all my heart and reflect Him to those I am coming in contact with. I want nothing more than to be able to show people that Christ dwells in me and that I am His child.
To lead me and take full control over me.

For some of you it may seem merely theory but I want to assure you that I meant what I wrote and that everything comes from a heart who is seeking the Lord and who wants to be like Him. I realized there is nothing else that matters except for these 3 things. I have asked so many years for a life partner and for things that were for me and for my well being. But this year the Lord has made a change in the way I am thinking and I cannot describe you how happy I am for the change He made in me.

I wish for you the same things I wish for myself because there is nothing else that matters. At least there is nothing else that matters for me. I hope for you, too.

Home... What Is Actually Home???

2008-12-27T18:23:00.007+02:00

Just one and a half weeks ago I was in Bucharest when I found out some students are going to the hospital to sing for people with AIDS. Since I love to sing and I haven't got the chance to sing in a choir eversince I came back home and since I wanted to do something different like I once used to do, I decided it wil be a nice experience and a good opporitunity of service through songs. It took a while until we found the hospital and the right enterance (since there were several of them). When I got there I discovered we are not the only one invited but there are also other young people from some churches from Bucharest.

That's how I got to meet several old friends whom I have't seen in a long time. "What are you doing here? We thought you are in the mission field. We didn't know you are still at home..." They were so surprised to see me and they couldn't hide it. They were not even trying to. For me, their words and actions were saying: "Your place is not here anymore. We can see you just in the mission field. You do not belong here. The mission filed is your home." I have to admit I felt good at their remarks because I know I don't belong here. Not anymore.

Home... what is home? This is one of the most difficult questions one can ask me. I simply do not have an answer to it. Am I still at home, as my friends stated? I do not feel like being home because I do not have a home. At least not on this earth. With my parents missionaries in a muslim country, a married sister and one still in university there is no place that I can call here home.

But even though I cannot say I have a home, I can still feel at home. Though I remain a stranger and a wanderer, I feel at home where I am needed, accepted and loved, where I can be helpful and where the Lord sends me to serve.

So, what is home? I will give you the definition in heaven, when I will fully understand and experience what home is. Until then, I remain a HOMELESS WANDERER.

Christmas Again... And Time for Decisions

2008-12-25T18:32:00.012+02:00

I cannot believe it is Christmas already... One more year passed. Compared to last year, this year I have a very, very quiet Christmas.

No more soccer games to watch,

no church service to attend,

no special dinner to cook... since I am at home just with my sister, my brother and grandpa.

Instead I've got a lot of time to think - evaluate and plan and make some decisions. Though I cannot say I like this quiet and cold Christmas, I know I need it. I need this time to think about what I have done so far and what I am going to do from now on.

Since I am still at a cross road and I need to make a choice soon, I decided it would be good if I go online and listen to some presentations on understanding God's will. So today I went to AudioVerse and downloaded some sermons that prooved to be a tremendous blessing. Ron Clouzet has some rally good presentations on the topic. I really enjoyed listening to him. He gives seven steps that can be a help in discerning God's will:

1. Surrender your entire will to God.
2. Believe His will for you is always the best.
3. Check the Scripture in order to follow it.
4. Pray for guidance and strength.
5. Consider how God led you in the past.
6. Seek counsel from unbiased Godly friends.
7. Move forward.

After analizing my situation, I realized I have followed this steps and the time has now come that I move forward. He also said something that I knew but that I needed to hear again: "When you follow all these steps, there is a point when you need to make a decision. If you make no decision you will make a mistake. It is better to make a decision and make a mistake than make no decision. If you make a decision sincerily, genuinly, God will take care of you when you make the mistake. If you thought everything is leading you in this direction and if it is the wrong direction, God will make a detour because you have done your part, you have sought His will."

So, having this in mind, after I have analized my situation, I have decided to go ahead and try to get my Guyanese visa one more time. So I'm going ahead with my plans for Guyana until God will either open or close all the doors. I know it will not be easy to stick to my decision since some of people I love and respect do not agree with me but I know God will help me.

There are several reasons why I decided to go ahead with my Guyana plans. First, I know for sure God called me there 3 years ago but I have nothing to tell me He wants me somewhere else. Then, I know there is a need for continuity, for people who already understand the culture and thus can befriend and understand people easier. Then, there is my love for Guyana because of what the Lord has done in my life and how He changed me there. Then, I love the jungle and the quiet life, I love gardening, cooking over an open fire, washing clothes at the river... In a nut shell, I love the challenges of the jungle living and I really think this is a gift from God since not so many people find jungle living atractive.

Then, there is one more thing I decided. To some may sound wierd, some will not understand... While talking to God one night before I fell asleep, I decided to put aside any thoughts on romance and marriage. I believe God thinks I can serve better as a single person. So, marriage is not for me. I do not say this because I have no perspective or because I want to shock some of you. I just beleive that God is coming soon and that I need to focus on serving Him and spreading the Gospel and a relationship will distract me from fully focusing on service. So, here I am happy and ready to face a life of service having God as my friend. I have already served for three years as a single person and I have grumbled at times for being alone. This time I am going having another mindset and I know that things will be different.

I'm looking forward to the things God has in store for me! Looking forward to serving and also to learning from Him.

Crossroad again...

2008-12-13T20:07:00.004+02:00

On Thursday I have received one of the most unexpected news: my Guyanese visa has been denied. So I am once again back to the starting point, back to where I was some time ago. Is this God trying to tell me He has something else for me, that He wants me somewhere else? Is it that He wants to see how determined I am to go there? Do I have to try again to get my visa? What is it that the Lord wants from me? I have been trying to find and answer to this last question for quite some time and I still have no definite answer. Still in darkness... still waiting... still hoping that the night will be soon over.

Missing Guyana...

2008-12-02T18:25:00.010+02:00

Today is again one of those days when I terribly miss Guyana (by the way, it happens pretty often:). I have read again some news from Guyana and I'm Guyana sick again. Everytime I hear something about the beautiful life from Guyana I long soooo much to be back there. Some people told me that if I spend some time in Romania I will forget all about Guyana and I won't want to go back to the jungle life. But from what I can see the effect is the opposite. The longer I stay here, the more I want to go back. The longer I taste from the vanity of the civilization, the more I want the simplicity of the jungle life. There is nothing more wonderful than to wake up in the morning hearing the baboons giving a concert, to go to the river to wash my cloths, to cook over an open fire, to go and work in the garden, to haunt for bats, to go and watch soccer on Sundays afternoons... and the list can go on and on. Yeah, this is the life that I love. Just a couple of night ago I dreamed that was back in Guyana and I was sooo happy! I hope and pray this dream will soon come true. I know God can make it possible prividing the finances I need in order to be back in the land of my dreams and to reach out again to those people who need so much to hear about Him.

The Fabric of Faithfulness

2008-12-01T21:36:00.011+02:00

I have read today for a half of the day. I needed to finish the book The Fabric of Faithfulness - Steven Garber, one of the requirements for one of the classes I am talking for my Master's. Though very difficult to read and very difficult to understand in the begining, after a while it became accessible..

What is the book all about? The author of the book is a teacher whose main preocupation is to help his students connect what they believe about the world and how they live in the world. Some other questions he is trying to answer are: What do I care about? What do I believe and why do I believe? How does a world view become a way of life?

The author is trying to find out why is it so difficult to connect what we believe with how we believe in the fist chapters of the book. Then he presents stories of succes, of people who manage to live a life of integrity in a challanging world.

I found very interesing the chapters he is talking about education and its purpose. He says that „education must be oriented to preparation for a calling and not trainning for a career”. He is also emphasizing a lot the importance of the teacher being the students´ friend not only a teacher behind a desk and also the importance of developing friendships with people who have chosen to live their lives embedded in the same worldview.

Connecting what I believe with how I live... What is my place in the world? Do I make any difference? Do I care? Do I live a life of integrity where I do what I say?

I realise more and more that it is so easy to believe something and to live something else. God needs people of integrity, people who found their place in the world, who care, who believe and live for Him, who live what they believe, people who make a difference just because God lives in them, people who will be able to stand for the truth and defend because they know what they believe, they know why they believe and they live what they believe.

If people were able to die for what they believe, it is just because their worldview became a way of life. If people are happy or unhappy, it is because of their worldview. "It is the difference between a worldview which brings integration to the whole of one's existence and one which brings desintegration."

Lord, help us develop a worldview that has You in the center and help us understand that "truth cannot be something we hold on to theoretically with no real-life consequence, that knowing and doing, hearing and obeying are integrally connnected for people whose convictions are trully and deeply Christians."

A Day in the Mountains

2008-11-30T19:25:00.014+02:00

Learning to Wait

2008-11-29T14:57:00.012+02:00

It's been only a couple a weeks ago that I was so sure on what I am going to do. Only just a couple of weeks ago I was full of hope and joy, having found the answer to the questions: what's next? where can I serv You at my best? At least this is what I have thought then. And it took just a few days to be surrounded by fog again and to go back to the starting point, back to the land of unanswered questions (this is not because I don't have any options right now or that I do not know what I want to do but it's because of some other reasons). So, I'm back to waiting. I keep asking myself why, keep trying to find out if there is anything I need to give up to, something else that I need to learn.

I have never thought I won't be able to adapt back to my culture and to what once I used to like. I found myself longing every day for the simple jungle life, longing to live in the middle of the nature and to forget all about this complicated civilized life. Is it wrong what I want? No, I don't think so. Is it that God wants something else for me? I wish I can answer with all my power YES (because I know for sure this is what I want) but the situation I am in right now makes me more cautious about my answer. So, I prefer not to asnwer this question and to limit God. I know this is what God wants for all of us, to be able to live close to Him and to His nature, and I know this is what I want to.

Waiting on God... I listened to day to a sermon with this title and it made so much sens to me. But when it comes to applying this to my own life, it seems to hard. I've been waiting for the past 3-4 months and it seems I got tired of waiting. Sometimes I'm asking myself: where is the girl who has been telling to everybody for the past 3 years that God has a plan with everyone's life and there is no greater joy than to know you are where God wants you to be and you are doing what He wants you to do? Apparently, taking care of my grandpa and working of getting a long term visa for a former student of mine, that's what God had me do for the past 3 months. It's not what I wanted to, I have to admit, but I tried to enjoy even though I caught myself complainning at times (shame on me!!!).

Waiting, waiting, waiting... that's in a nut shell what I am up to. I have no doubts that God has a plan with my life and that sooner or later He will reveal it me. Waiting peacefully and joyfully... this is my challange. I've got to a conclusion not long again. I realise that I want to learn to wait in pace more than I want to understand God's plan for me. Yeah, my deceitful heart wants desperatly to find out the answer to the question: What's next? Where should I go to serve? more than to learn to wait (and I know that this desire is not bad). But my brain understand the necessity of learning to wait on Him. So, I guess I am learing to wait right now despite my unwillingness to accept taking this difficult lesson... I'm not a very good student but God hasn't given up on me.

So, I am learning the difficult lesson of waiting. Hopefully I will learn it and God won't have to bring me again to a similar situation.

Tired...

2008-11-20T00:02:00.004+02:00

I am tired right now. Tired of many things... Tired of waiting. Tired of obstacles. Tired of trying. Tired of fighting. Tired of a complicated life. Tired of civilisation.. I wish I could enjoy the simplicity of the jungle life. And I hope I will soon, very soon...

First Step..

2008-11-11T18:04:00.004+02:00

Today I have sent my passport to get the Guyanese visa. It's the first small step that I am taking in the process of getting ready once again for my departure and the only I can take right now. I'm just a helpless little girl who is waiting for her Father to show her what to do next and who is waiting on Him to provide for her. He has been always bringing me to the point where I have to wait on Him... I guess I still have to learn to trust that He will give me the resources I need in order to be able to leave. He has been faithful for the past three years and I know He is the same God yesterday, today and forever. If I look behind I can clearly see how faithful He was in taking care of my needs... So, why do I have to worry when I have already experienced so many times His care, when He send me what I needed at the right time? Why is it so hard at times to just trust without worrying a bit? Huh... our human nature!!! I cannot say I'm worrying right now but I have to admit I am wondering how long will He let me wait...

I wrestled with God last night...I was worrying about a certain issue and I was talking to Him asking Him why does it have to be so difficult at times... So we fought for some time and, in the end, He was victorious. He didn't promise me that He will solve the problem, He didn't say it will be easy. He just asked me to trust Him. So I gave up worrying.

Again and again, God is bringing me to situations where I see no way out and I just have to trust Him. I guess it's part of my intense course, part of the training He has for me.

Anniversary

2008-11-09T18:32:00.012+02:00

Today it's been three years since I first left for Guyana. First time alone traveling across continents, first time traveling in an airplane, first time being so far away for such a long period of time of my family and friends. I didn't know what the trip will be like and where exactly is the place where I will serve, I didn't know what exactly I will be doing, I didn't speak English fluently but I knew I want to serve. The beginning of the the most challenging and most beautiful time in my life. The beginning of a new life that was going to change me forever.

I went to Guyana not knowing exactly what means to be a missionary or for how long I will be there. It took me just 2-3 weeks to decide that this is what I want to do for my whole life. I have never thought that I will fall in love with the jungle, that I will love to work in the farm, that I will enjoy walking bare feet in the mud, that I will love to do laundry at the river, that I will befriend the bat and rats and cockroaches, that I will fall in love with teaching, that I will find the sens on my existence there. I have never thought I will face so much loneliness and I will also be so happy, that I will miss my family so much when being there but I will miss even more the jungle and its challenges when being at home, that I will love the quietness and peacefulness of the jungle and also the craziness of Georgetown.

I remember so well flying with Gary Roberts above the dense jungle and thinking that I am dreaming. I have never dreamed to meet all this people I have seen on DVDs but here I was, staying quiet and sharing tears of joy for the wonderful way God worked in my life. I have never thought I will one day become a real missionary in the real jungle working with all the heroes I have grown to admire and respect. And here I was, being part of what I have never dreamed of.

Three years of intense training for me, three years of serving, three years when I grew to love sooo much my fellow Amerindians. And I know that these three years are just the beginning.

Though not too many people understand my love for Guyana and for Amerindians, I know God set a burden on my heart and that He wants me there. So, Guyana, I am coming soon!!!!

The Dawn Is Breaking

2008-11-07T20:34:00.019+02:00

"We have nothing to fear for the future, except as we shall forget the way the Lord has led us, and His teaching in our past history."

As I am still waiting, I realise more and more how important it is to remember how the Lord worked in my life in the past. In fact, I've focused on several things lately: one is to discover why the Lord is keeping me still in Romania, another is those weakness, black spots on my character that I need to get rid of, and that the Lords wants to reveal to me in this process of waiting. Then I tried to remember how He led me in the past. In fact, I've been blessed with friends who reminded me of the wonderful ways God led me so far.

As I've been meditating on all these things, I've made amazing discoveries... I've spotted again things that are keeping me away from Him, Satan's nails in my life. I have also found some of the reasons God is still keeping me here. Though it is hard to wait, I cannot but exclaim: marvelous are Your works, Lord.

It's been three years since the Lord started an intense course with me. Three years of shaping and molding like never before. I discovered that the jungle can be a perfect classroom for such a course. There are so many things I have learnt in these three years. One of most recent things He's been teaching me is to accept my faults and ask for power to overcome them. It is not easy to accept your mistakes and weaknesses in front of other people and to thank other people for pointing your faults out. But as the Lord has worked hard on this aspect, I finally had to say: OK, Lord, I agree. Your way is the best. It is so wonderful to see how the Lord is using situations and people to help us be who is wants us to be.

Three years ago, when the Lord called me to teach at Davis Indian Industrial College, I was somehow reluctant. I have never thought I will be a teacher because I never wanted to be a teacher. I have always thought I am not good for teaching thought I have never taught. But I had to to what the Lord asked me to, and I fell in love with teaching.

Last week, if you asked me what do I think about bible working, I would have told you that is an amazing way to spread the Gospel, but it is not for me. Today, when I received a call to bible work somewhere in Guyana, I realised that I have never done it, so I cannot know if it is for me or not. I'm still praying for guidance, and my heart is warming up at the thought of going back to my beloved Guyana. Maybe the Lord is calling me again to something I have never done, to show me I am good at it and that I love to do it. So, it I think that the night is almost over and something great is ahead of me. No matter what it is, it will be great because this is the Lord's doing.

At the Crossroad

2008-11-04T21:57:00.012+02:00

I've been at a crossroad for some time, more than I thought I would be. It seems that the Lord is still making me wait. I cannot fully understand why, but I know I have to trust Him. Sometimes the path is full of sunshine because I chose to trust, othertimes is dark and gloomy because I am tired of waiting. What helps tremendously in this night season is to know that this is His path. I've been learning patience a lot lately and I am happy to learn it.

I came home last June determined to make a change, to find a new place to serve the Lord. It took only two months to realise I want to go back to Guyana. Some people cannot understand my love for Guyana and this make things pretty difficult for me at times. How can they when they have't experienced what I had? For the past months I've been thinking a lot and praying a lot that I will be able to go back. Yesterday I went to see my dear friend, Ana, leaving for Guyana. I couldn't hold back the tears coming from my broken heart.

Though it is hard to wait on the Lord, this is the only way. I'm hoping to be able to go back to the mission field soon. Where will this be??? I really don't know. I hope the Lord will take me back to Guyana but if He won't, He knows why.

So, here I am, waiting, because I know that my Redeemer lives.

2008-11-04T21:17:00.007+02:00

Huh... I have finally started posting.