I Will Still Follow...

It is Old Year's Eve. One of my favorite time of the year. A new year ahead. Time for new beginnings. I sit in my chair waiting. Excitement builds up as I am waiting for my favorite Romanian Adventist tradition: sharing promises for the following year. I send up a prayer, as I always do: "Lord, talk to me and give me the message that I need for the following year." The deacons are going around. I reach out and pick a bookmark.

I eagerly open my Bible to Matthew 19,29 and I start reading: "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake..." I stop right there. My excitement is gone. Frustration and rebellion are taking its place. "Lord, what do you mean? I left all my family and friends behind for five years. Even now I am working a lot alone. Don't You think that I had enough of it? Don't You think it is time you give me someone to work with? You asked me several times to give up my plans to meet my ARME family and I did it. You asked me again to give up my plans to go to ARME UK and I did it. Don't You think that it will be better for me to have a support group? You said that two are better than one. And You sent the disciples two by two. You are asking me again to leave everything behind. Why? You know very well that I don't like working alone. "

I went on reasoning with God and telling Him all my frustration. He just listened. When I was done, He just asked me:

"Have I ever failed you?"
"No. You have not."

He did not have to say anything else. It was enough to remember the pace and happiness that flooded my soul when I chose to obey. And it was enough to remember His promises: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am in His hands and He will never harm me. He will never allow anything that is not for my best. It is all I needed to remember. Peace flooded my soul again.

Than I went on reading the rest of the promise: "...shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life." (Matthew 19:29) How have I missed that?

I know. I have failed again. I have proved again that I don't trust Him right away. But He lifted me up as He did countless times. He put again my feet on solid rock.

Thou none go with me, I will still follow...