Wounded Healer

I packed reluctantly. Than I boarded a plane that I did not want to board. I simply did not want to go, but a promise is a promise. What could I offer to people when my soul was so dry? How could I be a channel for healing when I was wounded? How could I speak to them of the joy of salvation, about His peace when I did not have either one of them? How could I talk to people about surrender when there was something that I found so hard to give up to? I had nothing to offer. I was wounded and hurting. I was afraid that He will not pour out His blessings because my heart was not ready to be a channel of His love, because there was something that I found hard to surrender that kept the wound open and did not allow it to heal.

But I went. I met people. I talked to them. I prayed with them. I listen to their stories. I had my workshop. It was the first time I had a workshop all by myself. And while pouring my life into serving others I totally forgot about my wound. At the end of the 5 days it was all gone. Not even the smallest scar left. It was as if I had never had it. There were always people in the prayer room. The workshop was packed. People kept telling me that they were blessed. I was overwhelmed. They had no clue that I was the one who experienced the greatest blessing. They had no clue that I was a wounded healer. It was than that I understood more of what Paul meant when he said that God's power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)

I am gladly packing right now. I am about to board a plane I have been waiting to board for a long time. The same destination, but one year later. This time I am bursting with excitement because I know Him more and I trust more His power. I have seen more of what He can do in spite of my weakness. I have learned more that it is not about me. It is not about what I can do. It is all about Him and what He can do through me. It is not about being worthy, but being willing. It is all about learning to walk with Him and constantly growing. Growing while serving. It is through service that I find solutions to my own struggles and I know that He is about to heal more of my wounds.

Yes, it is all about being a wounded healer. This is what I am. And I will be. Until He comes.