Our Love Story - The Friendship

IMPACT Romania organizing team and some speakers

This is part 4 of our Love Story. 

If you have not read part 1, 2 and 3 you can go here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Raluca

For some reason it was not easy to get this guy out of my mind. I did not know if he was interested in me or not, but there was something special about him. He did not ask for my email address, neither did he give me his to send him the power point presentation and I was wondering if he will get in touch with me. I got home only to discover that he had already added me on Facebook and has written me a FB message reminding me that I promised him to send him the power point presentation of my workshop. This is how we started corresponding. Than a few days later I send him a happy birthday message on his birthday telling him that I am praying for him (which believe me that I was). He answered back and told me that this is the most precious gift someone has ever given him on his birthday. His answer gave me a lot to think about... And the emails continued. We mostly exchanged ideas about prayer and Bible insights.

I remember telling God: "God, I have no clue what kind of guy I need. I also do not know this guy. Keep my heart safe for the one You have for me." For some time, just the thought of someone being interested in me made me afraid of loosing the peace and balance that I found in God. But things seemed to be different in this case.

I had always prayed that God will give me someone who will make his intentions known from the beginning, who will not leave me hanging in there wondering what he wants from me and why is he paying attention to me. So, when in his second email (not counting the 3 FB messages we exchanged) Roman told me that he wants to get to know me, I was happy that he was very open with me. In replay I asked him if he is sure that God wants him to get to know me and why did he want to get to know me. He told me a few things that you can read HERE. He was not sure that this is from God, so he asked me to pray with him that, if this is not from God, He will take away his interest. We kept writing back and forth. Our emails were saturated with spiritual things, lessons that God was teaching us. His love for God brought me closer and closer to my Father.

A week into our correspondence I decided to start a Daniel's fast in order to seek for God's will for this friendship. So I told Roman about it and invited him to join me if he wants to. He was hesitant, but God convicted him that he should join me.

Getting to know him and seeing His love for God was wonderful. I could hardly wait for his next email. And I had such a deep peace about everything, a deep peace that I did not know before. It so happened that every time I liked a guy or a guy liked me, I had never had peace in my heart.

About the same time when we started fasting, we started to write daily a lot of emails. After a couple of days with many emails flying back and forth, Roman wrote me the following email:

Yesterday in our small Bible group I was impressed that I was writing with you too much. I really enjoy sharing and communicating with you about God and it helped me to grow in understanding, but I need to focus more on Jesus. Also I do not want this to affect neither you nor me in finding out God's will. I realize that I pay to much attention to the emails, wondering all the time if there is a new message... I want to fast from this also. But I would be glad to communicate with you once a day about how the fasting and praying is going.

I should have been offended, shouldn't I? Well, I was not offended at all! Instead I remember having such a deep peace and thinking: "Here is a guy who loves God more than he likes me. This is the type of guy I want."

Since IMPACT Romania was coming closer and since I wanted Roman to be able to see me in my own environment, I invited him to come and join our conference. I knew that, as a Programming Director, I would be very busy and I would hardly have time for him. But I wanted him to see who I was, how I handled stressful situations (this is not something I am proud of). I did not feel the need to impress him. Instead I wanted him to see who the real Raluca is. I also wanted to have the chance to get to know him better. He prayed about it, God opened the doors and five weeks after we first met he flew to Romania to spend 12 days with my family.

A couple of days before he arrived, I started to worry: "Why did I invite him? What if I do not like him? What if we do not get along?" I was very anxious when I went to sleep that night. It was for the first time since we started corresponding that I felt that way. Next morning I was reading my Bible. As I was reading 2 Timothy, I came across this verse: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Tim. 1:7) and I knew it is for me. As I read it, my fearful heart was filled with a deep peace.

Roman came a few days before the conference and we spent a wonderful time together. He had the opportunity to preach in my place and I translated for him. We took walks and talked about our background, family, past, dreams... Than during the conference, even though my schedule was hectic, we still found time to talk a little bit. When I did not have time to have breakfast (which happened pretty much every morning), he was kind enough to take care of me and bring me fruit.

I will always remember our Friday night talk during the IMPACT Conference. It was one of those talks that cannot be forgotten. Roman wanted to let me know where we are at in our friendship and I really appreciated that he was open with me. The conclusion of the talk: he liked me, he liked my family, he enjoyed spending time with me, but he did not have the assurance that this is God's will. So he wanted to pray more about it to make sure that this is not his will, but God's.

I was happy that he did not take lightly the decision to pursue a relationship. And I knew that God will show him what to do. I already knew that God is in this and that He was leading. Deep down in my heart I knew that He will lead us to start a relationship, but I chose not to tell him anything. I just told him that I respect him as a leader and that he has to find answers for himself, so he should not expect me to let him know God's answer for us if I have one.

Roman

I did not expect that! I was hoping that, since she was involved in prayer ministry, God will tell her what to do, than she will tell me and things will be very easy. But even though I did not expect it, I appreciated the fact that she respected me as a leader. This made me even more aware of the responsibility that I had. And somehow I loved it. It simply felt right. And it brought me closer to God, because I saw that I had to make an important decision, which was going to have an impact on both of us!

I also talked to her dad the next day and let him know also where we were at and what are my thoughts. I wanted her dad to know that I am still praying and waiting for an answer from God if I should go ahead and enter into a relationship with his daughter.

Raluca

I was praying that he could make a decision before he went home. But when he told me on Friday evening that he does not have an answer from God, I started to doubt that God will answer my prayer because He was going to leave in three days. But God showed me again that His plans know not any haste or delay. When we are surrendered to Him, there is nothing to fear cause He makes everything beautiful in His time.

Roman

I was praying that God will clearly show me His will. Someone once told me about a small cat they had. They would give the cat milk, but the cat would not eat. They had to put the cat with the mouth in the milk and it was only then that the cat would start eating. So I told the Lord that He will have to do with me like just like these people were doing with the cat for me to clearly understand His will.

On Sabbath noon we were talking a walk with a few people who were attending the IMPACT Congress. I started to walk with Daniel Pel, one of the main speakers for the conference. I knew him a little bit since he held some meetings in our church and stayed in our house for two weeks. We started to talk about relationships and I asked him how we can know God's will when it comes to relationships. He told me several things. First of all, he recommended me to read chapter 6 in the book "Adventist Home". There I could find what a man should look for in a woman and a woman in a man, before they consider courtship. If those requirements are met the council is given "Move forward in the fear of the Lord." He also told me that sometimes God is opening certain doors and we have to be watchful and use those doors. If we don't, it might take a long time for another door to be opened. The other thing that he told me (after taking quite some time of "thinking" - I assume he was praying), shocked me even more: "From what I know about you and Raluca, I think you would make a good couple." I did not expect such a straightforward answer. But I realized that this is exactly what I have been praying for. After reading the recommended chapter, after seeing those qualities in Raluca and considering the way God has been leading and giving me peace, I decided that this is the right time to take this friendship to the next level.

Our first picture as a couple

To read the rest of our Love Story go here:

Part 5

Part 6