One More Year

Here we are, one day before the year is over. It's time to look back to see what we have done, to rejoice about our victories and regret our failures, and also forward, to make plans for the new year. As I look back, I can see both victories and failures and even though I regret my mistakes, I have reasons to rejoice as I see how the Lord lead and taught me and didn't let me down even when I chose to go my own way. So, let me tell you a few things I am thankful for.

• I am very thankful for the time I spent in Guyana. It's been a really, really blessed time with a lot of challenges. I am thankful even for the challenges because I know God used them to grow me.
• I am thankful that the Lord wants me to grow and become a better person and is showing me weaknesses and things I need to change in my life.
• I am thankful for my friends. They all mean a lot to me but I am thankful in a special way for Ana. There is something special about her and her friendship: we passed together through a lot of challenges, she understands my love for the mission work and especially for Guyana as nobody else does, God used her to teach me A LOT of things and her life and way of interacting with people is an example for me, she was there to encourage me give me hope when nobody else was there and I really needed someone by my side, she accepts me as I am and knows how to talk to me about sensible matters, about things I need to change in my life and make me feel during our conversation that I am precious and that I can do better. So, my beloved Ana, your friendship means much more than you can imagine. I thank the Lord for you and I only hope our relationship will deepen. Thank you for everything you have done for me.
• I am thankful for getting Sandro's visa. As some of you know, sometimes at the end of September, I brought to Romania one of my former students from Guyana in order to go to attend a school that trains missionaries for remote areas of the world (for those of you who know Sebastian Tartarau, it is his school). Since he came with a short-stay visa, his visa could not be extended and we had to get a new visa for him. For two months we have worked on it. We met obstacles so many times and so many times we said, thus far... we cannot do anything about it... But the Lord has been sooo good and He worked in miraculous ways. His new visa is a real miracle. I am so thankful for those who helped us in the process.
• I am also thankful for the changes I see in Sandro. He has grown a lot spiritually and not only and I am happy to see God working in his life.
• I am thankful for "my wilderness". This past 3 months have been a wilderness for me but now that I can look back I can see why the Lord chose to keep in Romania and I am thankful He did.
• I am so thankful because God took care of my material, financial, emotional, spiritual needs. Isn't good to know you have Someone to take care of your needs and that Someone who owns everything in this world is ready to supply for all your needs?

As I start the new year, I have hopes and desires like everyone has. I look back to see what where the hopes and desires I had for the past years and I see they have changed as I have grown in my relationship with Him. I can also see how the Lord gave me most of the things I have asked for and I am filled with gratitude. If once I used to ask for a computer, or a husband or friends, or guidance, this year my requests are a bit different. There are 3 things I am asking from the Lord:

1. To change me, to show me those spots from my character, those things I have to leave behind and to make me more and more like Him. It is such a joy to know I can be perfect as He is perfect and that He can truly make me like Him. So I am asking Him to make me like Him no matter what it takes.
2. To help me serve Him with all my heart and reflect Him to those I am coming in contact with. I want nothing more than to be able to show people that Christ dwells in me and that I am His child.
3. To lead me and take full control over me.

For some of you it may seem merely theory but I want to assure you that I meant what I wrote and that everything comes from a heart who is seeking the Lord and who wants to be like Him. I realized there is nothing else that matters except for these 3 things. I have asked so many years for a life partner and for things that were for me and for my well being. But this year the Lord has made a change in the way I am thinking and I cannot describe you how happy I am for the change He made in me.

I wish for you the same things I wish for myself because there is nothing else that matters. At least there is nothing else that matters for me. I hope for you, too.