No more soccer games to watch,
no church service to attend,
no special dinner to cook... since I am at home just with my sister, my brother and grandpa.
Instead I've got a lot of time to think - evaluate and plan and make some decisions. Though I cannot say I like this quiet and cold Christmas, I know I need it. I need this time to think about what I have done so far and what I am going to do from now on.
Since I am still at a cross road and I need to make a choice soon, I decided it would be good if I go online and listen to some presentations on understanding God's will. So today I went to AudioVerse and downloaded some sermons that prooved to be a tremendous blessing. Ron Clouzet has some rally good presentations on the topic. I really enjoyed listening to him. He gives seven steps that can be a help in discerning God's will:
1. Surrender your entire will to God.
2. Believe His will for you is always the best.
3. Check the Scripture in order to follow it.
4. Pray for guidance and strength.
5. Consider how God led you in the past.
6. Seek counsel from unbiased Godly friends.
7. Move forward.
After analizing my situation, I realized I have followed this steps and the time has now come that I move forward. He also said something that I knew but that I needed to hear again: "When you follow all these steps, there is a point when you need to make a decision. If you make no decision you will make a mistake. It is better to make a decision and make a mistake than make no decision. If you make a decision sincerily, genuinly, God will take care of you when you make the mistake. If you thought everything is leading you in this direction and if it is the wrong direction, God will make a detour because you have done your part, you have sought His will."
So, having this in mind, after I have analized my situation, I have decided to go ahead and try to get my Guyanese visa one more time. So I'm going ahead with my plans for Guyana until God will either open or close all the doors. I know it will not be easy to stick to my decision since some of people I love and respect do not agree with me but I know God will help me.
There are several reasons why I decided to go ahead with my Guyana plans. First, I know for sure God called me there 3 years ago but I have nothing to tell me He wants me somewhere else. Then, I know there is a need for continuity, for people who already understand the culture and thus can befriend and understand people easier. Then, there is my love for Guyana because of what the Lord has done in my life and how He changed me there. Then, I love the jungle and the quiet life, I love gardening, cooking over an open fire, washing clothes at the river... In a nut shell, I love the challenges of the jungle living and I really think this is a gift from God since not so many people find jungle living atractive.
Then, there is one more thing I decided. To some may sound wierd, some will not understand... While talking to God one night before I fell asleep, I decided to put aside any thoughts on romance and marriage. I believe God thinks I can serve better as a single person. So, marriage is not for me. I do not say this because I have no perspective or because I want to shock some of you. I just beleive that God is coming soon and that I need to focus on serving Him and spreading the Gospel and a relationship will distract me from fully focusing on service. So, here I am happy and ready to face a life of service having God as my friend. I have already served for three years as a single person and I have grumbled at times for being alone. This time I am going having another mindset and I know that things will be different.
I'm looking forward to the things God has in store for me! Looking forward to serving and also to learning from Him.
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