Come to the Quiet!

This is the invitation God addressed me a few weeks ago. I came home pretty disappointed at others and myself and with no vision of where I am heading. My Namibian experience was a meaningful one in many ways and I really enjoyed it except for one aspect: the spiritual side. My fellow missionary colleagues and I have different moral values and, consequently, I felt alone many times and at times I have to admit that I set for less than God’s best for me and that I struggled a lot with taking time for the Lord. When you wake up at 5:30 and stay in the kitchen the whole day cooking for 50-70 people, and then go back to your tent around 8:30 – 9 o’clock, believe me, it is hard to find time to read your Bible and to pray. And this schedule went on like this for a few good months. Don’t get me wrong! I really enjoyed cooking (cooking is one of my hobbies) even though I went there to start a school and not to do a cooking career. Needless to say, I came home exhausted and longing for my quiet time with my God. And, thank God I can have it and fully enjoy it! It feels so good to be able to re-consecrate myself to God and to spend quality time with Him.

For quite some time I have had this strong impression that I am starting a new chapter in my life, that God is calling me to serve, but in a different way than what I have done until now. I told a couple of friends about it. “So, what is that?” they asked me. I don’t know! I really have no idea. I just have this strong impression in my heart that God is opening a new way for me. There is nothing visible, tangible to show me that it is Him speaking but I know, deep down in my heart, that it is Him speaking to my heart. And I know it because I know my Lord, and because this is not the first time He is telling me that He is calling me to something new. Five and a half years ago, when I was working as a secretary for an SDA school, one morning, during my morning devotion I read from Isaiah. While reading, Isaiah 43:18,19 jumped out to me. I didn’t know what it meant. I just knew it is for me for that day. Later in the day I got an email telling me that, due to lack of funds, my position is dissolved. So, that meant that I was losing my job. I got panicked but as I remembered the verses, pace came over my soul. A peace that nothing and nobody can take.

So, I don’t know His plans for me. I don’t know what is He calling me to. But I know that He is calling me to service.

I was asking God one evening why do I have to spend some time at home and what are the things He is calling me to while being here. And while I was waiting in the silence, it suddenly struck me! And I could hear so clearly His soft voice. Yep, it’s time for some character shaping experiences, time to learn some very important lessons (can’t name them all because it is something personal), time to rejoice with my family, to mend broken relationships (they do not seem broken on the surface at all), to learn to accept people who are so different from me, people I find difficult to accept, time to grow especially in the area of relationships and to help others grow. So, yes, I know why do I have to stay at home for a while. And it is so good to know what is He calling me to for now. I think that it is for the first time in 6 years when I am at peace with staying at home and not knowing what is next on His agenda. (For those who do not really know me, I am a pretty active person and I like to always have something to do. Life at home can be a little boring at times :D)

I know He is preparing me for something big. Not big in people’s eyes, but big in His eyes. He has called me to the quiet for now. I have been called to re-consecration and re-dedication of my life. And this is one of the most meaningful experiences of my life.

Manliness, Part 2

Eric and Leslie Ludy, two of my favorites authors and speakers, speak about manliness and femininity, waiting on God and honoring your future spouse. They might seem extreme or maybe over-spiritualizing things for some people. Not for me!

For more of their talks and books, you can go to http://setapartgirl.com/ or http://ellerslie.com/

Never Settle for Less than God's Best

We all have the tendency to succumb to pressure. Be it peer pressure, or the pressure of our own sinful desires, or social pressure. This is the human nature. It is often under pressure that we settle for less than God's best for us. It is so easy to decide to pursue God's very best when reading a book about surrender. Or when spending time with Him in the morning. But when the rubber meets the road, when we are faced with temptations, things are not the same.

It is easy to hold on to the ideal when surrounded by people who encourage you to do so and who strive to do so themselves. But what about when people around you live their lives as if they are their own? As if there is no such thing as God's best for them? They are content with a ordinary mediocre life. And for them this is "the best". Some of them might be godless, but others might be Christians. They might profess that they love God and serve Him. It is around such people that you are challenged the most.

It is so easy to be content with less around the latter group because God's very best for you may be equal to narrow mindedness, or stupidness, or silliness, or living from books to them. One is simply outdated around such people. So, settling for less seems the perfect solution. It's hard to be odd, to be outdated, to be just different. Mixing in the crowd is so much easier.

A lot of times the times we don't even realize we are settling for less because we don't do it purposely. It just comes naturally from the desire to be like the rest of the group. Just think a little, who likes to be odd? Who likes not to be able to laugh about certain jokes when everybody else is laughing? Who likes to to be laughed at because he reads his Bible? Who prefers to spend the evening alone when everybody else is watching a movie (I am not talking about good educational movies)?

While thinking about the times when I did settle for less, I asked myself a question: Isn't pursuing God's best for me just an excuse for being a difficult person? Or for being picky? (I'm alluding here mainly to relationships.) 

I've been accused of being too righteous and picky in different occasions. It seems that what is pursuing God's best for me, for some people is just my caprice. Am I being picky and too righteous? Are they right? For instance, let's look at the area of relationships. Am I using the excuse of waiting on God's timing and God's best just to cover for my caprice? Just think a little: in my late 20s, haven't been in a relationship for more than 9 years and I have been just in one relationship all my life, I have traveled the world in the past 7 years so I had a lot of opportunities to meet guys (so they say).

I did some soul searching as I do from time to time. I asked Him what He thinks about this. What He thinks about me being different, about me being single? And you know what He told me? He told me to follow Him. And he also told me to wait on Him. He was also different. 

"I will never ever make another decision on my own." This is what I promised Him 9 years ago. And I am still sticking to that promise. I know that I am following Him. I know that  I am waiting on Him. I also know that my life is in His hands. I believe that I am seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness and He will take care of all my needs. Yes, I am an old fashioned girl who trusts her Father and I am proud of it! I believe that my Father is looking after me so I don't have to worry.

Settling for less than His best...

I was tempted to do it so many times... just because I was so tired to be different, to be odd. But God nudged me and reminded me that I should allow Him to be in charge. I might be odd, I might be old fashioned, but I do not care! He was odd, too!

So, thank God that every time I tend to drift away and be content with less than His best for me, He is right there sending me signals that I am going in the wrong direction. And He patiently waits for me to get the message and come back on the track to pursue His best for me. 

Note to self: Don't you ever settle for less than God's very best for you, Raluca!