His Purpose For Marriage

I read the title of the book and I think that I forgot to breath for a second: Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy. I could not believe my eyes that someone finally wrote a book and expressed my own thoughts. 

So many people think that marriage is a purpose, a destination. That marriage is a plateau where one needs to arrive in order to be happy and fulfilled. Marriage for many equals eternal happiness and bliss. It is the place where our needs are fulfilled. No wonder there are so many marriages falling apart. And while there is happiness in marriage and the needs are fulfilled, this is not the whole purpose of it.  

For me marriage is a mean. A tool God uses to shape the character, to make us more like Him, to restore His image in us. A tool that He uses to make us better persons, better witnesses, more effective workers for God. A mean that He uses to teach us about grace, love, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, faithfulness. So marriage is not a destination. It is only a mean through which God accomplishes His purpose in and through us and prepares us for the life to come. 

So, what if my character can be better shaped by being single? What if I can serve Him better if I am not married? What if I can learn better what means grace and love and forgiveness? What if I can be a better witness? What if He allows me to be single in order to save me and and use me to save others?

I know what you are thinking. It is more likely that He can teach me these things by being married. I know. And I agree with you. It is more likely. And I would rather have Him do it this way. 

And still, what if?

Than let me be single.

Did I just hear a hearty AMEN? 

I think I did!

It Is Not About Feelings

Follow your heart! Do whatever your heart tells you to do! 

Live in the moment!

You can do it. Believe that you can and you will succeed! 

Believe in yourself! 
It is your life! Live it! Don't let anybody tell you what to do!

Think positive!

Follow your dreams!

You are valuable! You are worthy!

You are loved!

I am sure that you have all heard these sentences. You have read them. You have used them. This is what you have often been told. 

Time passes by. You follow your heart. You follow your dreams. And your dreams are shattered or prove to be a mere disappointment.You reach where you wanted to and you are not satisfied. You believe that we can do something and you fail. You try to think positive, but you end up miserable and discouraged. You marry the one you love, but a few months or years down the road you sign the divorce papers. No more love left in your hearts. 

Why? Why is it that you follow your heart, but end up miserable and unfulfilled? Why is it that you do what you want to do, and at the end of the day you are empty, you are not satisfied? Why is it that you believe that you can do it and you fail? Why are you getting discouraged even though you try to think positive? Why is the well of love drying up when it seemed so full in the beginning?

Friends, it is not about following our hearts. When we follow our hearts, heartbreak is our portion. It is about following His heart, following His thoughts of peace and not of evil so that we can have a future and a hope. (Jer. 29:11) 

It is not about living in the moment. It is about living while having in mind a greater purpose than enjoying ourselves here and now. It is about living in the light of eternity and preparing for it.  We are not our own. We have been bought with a price and we are waiting for a new heaven and a new earth. (1 Cor. 6:19, 20, 2 Petru 3:13)

It is not about us and what we can do. It is about Him and what He can do through us. Yes, we can do all things, but only through Christ who strengthens us. (Phil. 4:13) We are weak, but His power can be made perfect in our weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9) His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. 

It is not about believing is us, but believing in Him. Believing that He is God and there is nothing too hard for Him. (Jer. 32:27, Job 42:2)

It is not about thinking positive, but about praising Him and being thankful for what He has done and will do for us. (Col 3:15) It is about coming to Him with our petitions and also with our thanks knowing that He is going to give us what is best. (Phil. 4:6)

It is not about living our lives, because this is not our life, but His. He gave it to us to glorify Him. We need to be crucified with Him and allow Him to live in us. (Gal. 2:20)

It is not about our value and worthiness. We have no value. We are not worthy. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) We are weak and we are frail. (2 Cor.12:9) But God made Him sin for us that we may become God's righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21) We are His children, He died for us and this is what gives us value and makes us partakers of His glory. (Romans 8:17) It is His glory and value, not ours.

It is not about our love and promises. It is about His love and promises to us. It is about His love in our heart. We can love Him only because His first loved us. (1 Ioan 4:19) Our love for our fellow men is proportionate to our love for Him. (1 John 4:8)

So, you see, it is not about us and what we can do. It is not about our feelings. Feelings are tricky. It is about a few certainties. We have a deceitful heart. We have no power. We are weak. We have no value. We stumble and fall. We cannot love.

So, it is all about opening wide the doors of our heart and allowing Him to dream for us. It is about surrendering our desires and asking Him take us where He wants us to be. It is about being crucified with Him and allowing Him to live within us. It is about pursuing something much greater than the pleasure of the moment. It is about searching for more than accomplishment, pleasure, titles, honor and glory on this earth. It is about eternity. It is about His love! It is all about Him.

So... 

Follow His heart! Do whatever He tells you to do! 

Live for eternity!

He can do it. Believe that He can and trust Him! 

Believe in Him! 
It is His life! Live it! Let Him tell you what to do!

Give thanks!

Follow His dreams!

He are worthy!

He loves you!

A Risen Savior

It is dark. He takes His disciples and they go to the garden.

"Stay here and watch with Me. Watch and pray."

Three times He asked them to do this. Yet, they are too tired.

So they sleep.

A few hours down the road they all leave Him,

deny they know Him.

43 days later they are all in one place on their knees. Waiting for 10 days. The command was not to depart from Jerusalem until they will receive the Holy Spirit. 
And they complied.

How comes? They could not spend a few hours on their knees. 
Now, they spend 10 days.

What made the difference?

The vision of a different Savior. A risen One.

This is what made the difference.

Is your Savior still on the cross or in the grave?

Or is He risen from the dead?

If He was truly risen, than you would realize your need

for the Holy Spirit and you would be on your knees

begging for His presence in your life.

I serve a risen Savior...

"Why seek ye the living among the dead?

He is not here, but is risen..."

Luke 24:5,6

When God Is Enough

Valentine's Day is here. I realized that when I saw the decorations in town. While surfing the net, I also came across some articles on the same topic: A Single Girl's (tried and true) Guide to Valentine's Day or How to Survive Valentine's Day If You Are Single. And all I could do was smile. But even though I had a smile on my face, I realized that they reflect a sad reality. There are a lot of lonely people for whom the burden of singleness is too heavy to bear. And this type of articles are meant to help people forget about the emptiness they feel in their hearts. They try to give some shallow solutions to a deep problem. They try to find some short-term solutions and they may work for a while. But they do not solve the real problem.

So, while thinking about singleness and loneliness, my thoughts took me back in time to the day when I first realized that marriage will not make me happy. I also remember the day when I understood for the first time that God has to be enough and everything for me if I want to be happy. That was the beginning of an unforgetful journey with God. A journey with ups and downs. It took time for the truth to sink in. It took time for me to learn to let God control this area of my life. It took time to learn to be content in my singleness. And even though I was slow, I am happy that God had not given up on me.

If today I am happy as a single person, is because God is enough for me. He is everything for me. If I am content, it is because I chose to enjoy life as it is now. I chose to serve and I find joy and fulfillment in my service. I chose to give Him my future. I chose to give Him my dreams and my desires. I chose to give Him the pen to write my love story in His own time. And I know that He is working on it. Marriage is not the ultimate relationship we were created for. A relationship will not make us happy if we were not happy before. Until God is enough, we will never have enough.

Yes, there are days when I feel lonely. There are times when I ask Him: how long? And, yes, I have unanswered questions. But since God is enough, I can live with unanswered questions, I can still be content and happy because I give Him my burden, because I trust Him and because I know that, whatever He does, He does it for my best. You see, I can enjoy life because it is not about me. It is about His plans for me and my salvation. If He promised to lead me, why should I worry? If it is all about me being saved, why would I want a relationship at the price of my salvation? I asked Him to do anything that it takes to mold me and shape me into His likeness, and I believe that this is what He is doing right now.

So, praise God that I can say today: Jesus Christ is more than enough for me. It is all because of Him and His love for me.

The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey by Henri Nouwen

A friend of mine posted these quotes that I absolutely liked. So I asked for his approval to post them here. He was so nice as to grant me permission. So, here they are.



"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

"You don't think your way into a new kind of living. You live your way into a new kind of thinking."

"Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering. What we desire most is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it."

"To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. The movement from loneliness to solitude, however, is the beginning of any spiritual life because it it is the movement from the restless senses to the restful spirit,l from the outward-reaching cravings to the inward-reaching search, from the fearful clinging to the fearless play."

"Ministry means the ongoing attempt to put one's own search for God, with all the moments of pain and joy, despair and hope, at the disposal of those who want to join this search but do not know how."

Priorities

I was taking to a girl a couple of weeks ago. I don't really know her but we have something in common: both of us work for the same organization and we are also in the process of finishing our master degree having to work on our thesis. “So, are you going to get your Ph. degree as well?”, she asked me. Upon answering her that I don't want to, she said: “I want to get my degree because I have seen that University teachers have a comfortable and easy life. They usually have a business of their own while pursuing a teaching career.” Later on, while thinking about this conversation (I usually do this) I asked myself: what do I really want in life? Do I want a comfortable life? Do I want an easy a job? Do I want a predictable life? Do I want the financial security and the money of two jobs?

It did not take long before I had the answer... I like comfort, but I don't want a comfortable lifebecause I have seen that I can be really happy while living in a jungle hut. In fact, I think I was happier while living in a hut. I like doing easy stuff, but I don't want it because I want to be challenged, I want to develop and to grow. I like some of the predictable things, but I don't want a predictable life because life with God is often unpredictable. Why? Because my ways are not His ways and His ways are not my ways. So, I need to be ready to accept His leading and this means to accept a way that might not be my way. It feels good to have lots of money but I don't need and I don't want it. I have seen that God can take care of my needs if I seek His Kingdom and His righteousness. I worked as a volunteer for 5 years but I never lacked anything.

Yes, it is true that I don't want an easy and comfortable life! I just want a meaningful and vibrant life of service. This is what I have always wanted. And He gave me one. I have never thought that He will ask me to do the things that I have done and go to the place where I have been. I have never thought that He will lead me the way that He led me. So, life with God is unpredictable. A life of service means a lot of times lack of comfort, uneasiness, a lot of unpredictable situations and waiting on God. And I am fine with it because I am with God and because nothing compares with the joy and peace that come with the assurance that God is leading. It might not be easy at times, but it is worth it. It is definitely worth living a life of service for God!

So, what are the things that you are looking for? What are your priorities? What do you really want in life? Are you content with your life? Are your priorities His priorities?

I like to sit down to ask myself these questions and check if I am on the right track from time to time. If you didn't do it for a long time, I think it is high time to do it.

P.S. Choose to live a life of service! You will never regret this choice.

Manliness

This past 10 months that I spent in the Kalahari Desert made me think a lot about manliness. Being one of the few girls in the camp and being surrounded mostly by men was something new for me. It's because of who these men are that I got to do a lot of thinking about manliness and femininity. It's because of what they said and how they behaved that I analyzed the values (concerning manliness and femininity) I was raised up with over and over again and I got to build my own system of values. And it is because of them that I know better now what I like and what I don't like, what I want and I don't want in a man. (By the way, I sensed that God is bringing me over and over again to the point where people's values and behavior challenge me to think and build my own system of values where I once just adopted my family's values. Not that I didn't know what I believed in before, but when I am challenged by a different set of values, I get to think over and over about my system of values and why I believe what I believe and even if it's not comfortable sometimes, it's really beneficial for me.)

I grew up in a family where vulgare jokes were not tolerated. Where flirting, playing with hearts, using double sense language were classified as non-Christian behaviour. I was raised up being taught that character matters the most, more than the way you look. Where talking about how good looking the girls are and talking only about that was not considered a good habit and showed something about a guy's character. I was surrounded by people who valued purity. My innocence was not taken as stupidness, nor my purity and determination to trust the Lord in the area of dating as a relationship problem.

The encounter for an extended period of time with some other set of values opposite to mine was a little shocking to me. Not that I have not met people doing the above mentioned things, because I had. And still I was shocked. I was shocked because I didn't expected it, not in that place, nor among those people. I found myself torn between the desire not to be different, to be able to be part of their jokes and conversations, and the holding on to the values I had. Sometimes, while listening to the endless talks about that girl and the other one they have seen on the street, I felt just like an object.

And you know what is weird? They almost made me believe that this is the world of men and I have to accept it. That they are all the same and I have to accept that I am weird. That I have to accept to feel like an object. That I have to laugh when they are saying vulgare jokes. That words with double meaning are something normal. That I have to get used to them turning their head on the street after some good looking girl and flirting around with strangers. That playing around with no intention of being intentional in a relationship is normal. They almost made me believe that one cannot find anymore men who stand for what they believe because the majority of them didn't really know what they believed in. They managed to shake my whole world... until I listened to a presentation that woke me up and made me realize that there are still upright people. Men who don't use dirty jokes, who do not turn their head on the street. Who do not flirt and play around with hearts. Who know what they believe and stand for what they believe. Men who are gentleman and make me feel a woman and not an object around them. Men who love Him and make Him the object of their conversations and not the good-looking girls.

The time I spent in Kalahari made me miss so much the company of dedicated people. People for whom God is not only a nice notion and Somebody you go to just when you are in trouble or in need. People who are interested in mission and not only adventures. People who want to obey Him because they love Him. People who know what they believe and stand for what they believe. People who are asking themselves: "What does God want me to do?" and who long to grow and learn more of His ways. People who live what they say they believe. People who will not laugh at me because I took my Bible with me on a 4 days trip and who will not call me Virgin Mary because of my innocence.

So, I thank God for sending me these challenges. They make me think... and decide for myself. And they make me appreciate even more integrity and faithfulness and purity.

The Fabric of Faithfulness

I have read today for a half of the day. I needed to finish the book The Fabric of Faithfulness - Steven Garber, one of the requirements for one of the classes I am talking for my Master's. Though very difficult to read and very difficult to understand in the begining, after a while it became accessible..

What is the book all about? The author of the book is a teacher whose main preocupation is to help his students connect what they believe about the world and how they live in the world. Some other questions he is trying to answer are: What do I care about? What do I believe and why do I believe? How does a world view become a way of life?

The author is trying to find out why is it so difficult to connect what we believe with how we believe in the fist chapters of the book. Then he presents stories of succes, of people who manage to live a life of integrity in a challanging world.

I found very interesing the chapters he is talking about education and its purpose. He says that „education must be oriented to preparation for a calling and not trainning for a career”. He is also emphasizing a lot the importance of the teacher being the students´ friend not only a teacher behind a desk and also the importance of developing friendships with people who have chosen to live their lives embedded in the same worldview.

Connecting what I believe with how I live... What is my place in the world? Do I make any difference? Do I care? Do I live a life of integrity where I do what I say?

I realise more and more that it is so easy to believe something and to live something else. God needs people of integrity, people who found their place in the world, who care, who believe and live for Him, who live what they believe, people who make a difference just because God lives in them, people who will be able to stand for the truth and defend because they know what they believe, they know why they believe and they live what they believe.

If people were able to die for what they believe, it is just because their worldview became a way of life. If people are happy or unhappy, it is because of their worldview. "It is the difference between a worldview which brings integration to the whole of one's existence and one which brings desintegration."

Lord, help us develop a worldview that has You in the center and help us understand that "truth cannot be something we hold on to theoretically with no real-life consequence, that knowing and doing, hearing and obeying are integrally connnected for people whose convictions are trully and deeply Christians."