His Purpose For Marriage

I read the title of the book and I think that I forgot to breath for a second: Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy. I could not believe my eyes that someone finally wrote a book and expressed my own thoughts. 

So many people think that marriage is a purpose, a destination. That marriage is a plateau where one needs to arrive in order to be happy and fulfilled. Marriage for many equals eternal happiness and bliss. It is the place where our needs are fulfilled. No wonder there are so many marriages falling apart. And while there is happiness in marriage and the needs are fulfilled, this is not the whole purpose of it.  

For me marriage is a mean. A tool God uses to shape the character, to make us more like Him, to restore His image in us. A tool that He uses to make us better persons, better witnesses, more effective workers for God. A mean that He uses to teach us about grace, love, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, faithfulness. So marriage is not a destination. It is only a mean through which God accomplishes His purpose in and through us and prepares us for the life to come. 

So, what if my character can be better shaped by being single? What if I can serve Him better if I am not married? What if I can learn better what means grace and love and forgiveness? What if I can be a better witness? What if He allows me to be single in order to save me and and use me to save others?

I know what you are thinking. It is more likely that He can teach me these things by being married. I know. And I agree with you. It is more likely. And I would rather have Him do it this way. 

And still, what if?

Than let me be single.

Did I just hear a hearty AMEN? 

I think I did!

Ruth, a Story of Grace, Love and Redemption

I have always been fascinated by Ruth! There is something about her that makes her special to me. So, since my Bible study took me to the book of Ruth, I though that I should share a few of the insights on my blog.

Ruth's story is a story of God's grace in the middle of sorrow and pain. She becomes a widow at a very young age, but because she loves her mother-in-law she stays with her. When Naomi decides to return to her country, Ruth decides to go back with her, despite Naomi's plea to go back to her family. She leaves everything that was familiar to her to go to a place she has never been and join a people she is not part of and was very different from. I cannot help but wonder why did she make this choice? Why did she choose to go somewhere where she was a foreigner and intruder? It must have been something that she saw in her husband, Naomi and her family, something valuable that she wanted to have at any price, at the price of never seeing her family again. What a wonderful testimony of Naomi's faithfulness! And what a wonderful testimony of someone who wants to have Jesus at any price. What price am I willing to pay in order to have Him? How much do I value Jesus? How much do I want to have Him? I feel that many times we turn back before Naomi tells us to go back home. It might be because we have not tasted of how good He is and we have not yet seen something that we want to have at any price. Or we might be looking for the wrong things.

Ruth follows Naomi being very much aware that she might never get married again. Actually, Naomi uses this reason when trying to make her turn back. But for her having Jesus was more precious and more important than having a husband. I simply love her priorities. I am sure that she wanted to get married, but she knows what are the most important things in life and she is going to have them even at the price of some things that she would like to have. She knows what she cannot live without and she surrenders her desires. Ruth is going to have Jesus even at the price of remaining single for the rest of her life. You see, this is why I love Ruth.

There are so many lessons to learn from her life and I am definitely not going to speak about all of them. I am amazed of God led her to Boaz' field. It was not Naomi who sent her there in the first place and I know it because when she comes back Naomi wants to know where she has been. God knew exactly where to send her. Another thing that is really standing out for me is her character. When she goes to Boaz, he tells her that "all the people from my town know that you are a virtuous woman." I was curious to see if there are any more places where the Bible says about someone as being a virtuous woman and I discovered that the only place is Proverbs 31. It is obvious that she had a very good reputation and she was a woman of character. She was very loyal to her mother-in-law and she was very industrious.

I admire Ruth, but I also deeply admire Boaz. He did not attempt to take advantage of her. He did not look down on her because she was poor. He redeems her. His attitude calls for the highest praise. 

I believe that Ruth lived Matthew 6,33: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." She is one example that, when we seek for God and put Him first, He is faithful and He supplies for our physical and emotional needs. Her love story is one of the best love stories ever! Her life was not easy. She went through a lot. She suffered a lot. But she remained faithful to God and He rewarded her faithfulness.

When Complaining Is not the Solution

Numbers 11, a chapter where everybody complains. The people of Israel complain about having no meat, cucumbers, leek, melons, garlic, onions. Moses complains that he is alone and that the burden is too heavy for him. So, God gives the people of Israel meat and provides help for Moses - 70 men to share his burden. 

So, while I totally disagreed and was appalled by the people of Israel and their complaints, I felt with Moses and pitied him. I could not be happier with the solution God found for Moses and told myself: ”Wow, he could not have asked for a better one!” Than I read from Patriarchs and Prophets and here is what I found:

”The Lord permitted Moses to choose for himself the most faithful and efficient men to share the responsibility with him... yet serious evils would eventually result from their promotion. They would never have been chosen had Moses manifested faith corresponding to the evidences he had witnessed of God’s power and goodness. But he had magnified his own burdens and services, almost losing sight of the fact that he was only the instrument by which God had wrought. He was not excusable in indulging, in the slightest degree, the spirit of murmuring that was the curse of Israel. Had he relied fully upon God, the Lord would have guided him continually and would have given him strength for every emergency.” PP, 380

So, there are a few things that I was reminded this morning. 

The first one is that when God gives a task, I do not need to tell Him how big the task is and that I cannot accomplish it. He gave it to me and He knows very well what He is doing. I need to trust Him. I need to ask for Divine help in carrying the burden. I do not need to tell God how to solve my problem, I need to allow Him to find the perfect solution. Someone once said: "Don't tell God how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your God is." And it perfectly expresses my thoughts. When I take the time to praise God and claim His promises for wisdom, guidance and power, I gain a whole new perspective and the burden is lighter. It is simply amazing the difference it makes. This is what I have experienced for the past month and I just love seeing how my trust and love for Him deepens when I allow Him to carry my burdens.  

The second one is that what seems the perfect solution for me, it might not be His perfect solution. He is the only one who can see the end from the beginning and He can see the consequences while I don't. I totally agree with Ellen White when she says: "God never leads His children otherwise than they would choose to be led, if they could see the end from the beginning, and discern the glory of the purpose which they are fulfilling as co-workers with Him." DA, 224. 

And the third one is that I should stop complaining about working alone and having no human help. How many times I have done that, only He knows. I always thought that it is His duty to provide help and I kept reminding Him that He sent the disciples two by two, that He also said that two are better than one. But today I finally understood that human help is great to have as long as this is God's first choice, not mine. He told us to plead for workers, and we need to do so, but we need to allow Him to decide if it is better for us to work alone in a certain context or send some help. So, next time I am tempted to complain that the burden is too heavy for me to carry it alone, I will remember to pray for strength and Divine power instead of pleading for human help. And if He thinks that human help is the perfect solution, than praise God! I am sure that He will send it. 

”Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equal to your task.” ~ Phillips Brooks

Answered and Unanswered Questions

"So, are you in a relationship? Have you met someone?" I have been asked this question countless times. "You've got to do something. You have to start searching for a husband", I am told when I tell them that I do not have a boyfriend. I smile. There was a time when I tried to help them understand my point of view, but now I don't even bother. They don't understand. Some of them can't. Some of them don't want to. Some won't even listen. 

Those who have not seen me for a long time go on asking: "So, what are you doing? What are you up to?" I tell them that I am a translator for Hope Channel and that I am also working and traveling for ARME Ministries, leading united prayer and presenting workshops on prayer and united prayer.

"Oh, I see" some would say, glad that the mystery is now solved. Those who are more daring would even venture to say: "Than, how do you want to get married if you travel so much? Who would take you? You have to settle down if you want to get married one day." I smile again. I have heard this over and over again for the past 7 years since my life has been different from the life of most of my friends and acquaintances. 

So, aren't they right? I have been a volunteer five years and I have lived isolated in the jungle and desert. And now, even though I kind of settled down and have a job, I keep traveling the world. Humanly speaking, they have all the reasons to be worried for me.

What people see is the a girl who is strong, a leader who gets involved in so many projects, who travels, who speaks, who seems to do just fine all by herself. And I can't blame them. This is what one can see at a glance. Little do they know how much time I spend in prayer in order to have the power to do all these things and how many times I have pleaded with the Lord to let me be under the stage, to let me support someone, to be the helper that He created me to be. Little do they know that this leader feels so much the need to be led, to be protected, to follow someone. 

So, why did I spend 5 years isolated in the mission field? Why do I travel now? Why do I take speaking engagements? Because He has called me to. Because I know and I have seen that the best thing for me to do is to do what He is asking me to and to follow Him wherever He leads. You see, this life is not about me, about what I can do and what I cannot do, what I want or don't want. It is about Him and glorifying Him through my life. 

Nine and a half years ago I promised God to follow Him wherever He leads and do whatever He asks me to. And I also promised Him to seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and trust that everything else will be added unto me. And this is what I am trying to do. I am very happy with what I am doing right now, but I am also looking forward to the day when I will be able to be the helper that He created me to be. 

"Well," you would say, "you are past the age most girls think they will be single. If God is in control, than why are you still single? If you are serving Him, why didn't He bring someone along until now? He knows you need someone and if you are doing His work He should be sensitive to your needs."

I can't claim that I have the answer to these questions. I know that I don't know a lot of things and I don't have a lot of answers. But there are a few things I know without a shadow of a doubt. Firstly, I know that missionary girls and girls who are traveling and doing God's work get married. So being in the mission field and traveling does not have anything to do with being single. I believe that He can drop someone out of the sky in the middle of the jungle for me. Secondly, I know that the best and only thing I should do right now is to make sure that I am following Him and that I allow Him to lead my life. Thirdly, I know that He is in control and that He wants what is best for me. That's all. And it is enough to help me live happily with unanswered questions. 

It does not mean that there are no days when I am confused, when I feel that He totally forgot about my singleness, when I feel lonely, when I wonder how much longer do I have to wait. There have been such days and I am sure there will be many more. But in the midst of all these, I have learned to be content. I have learned to enjoy my singleness and get the best of it. I have learned to love this season of my life. 

Does it mean that I gave up on love? Does it mean that I stopped hoping that I will one day get married? No, it doesn't. I have learned to love being single and not give up on love. I have decided not to allow my hopes and dreams for the future cast a shadow on my present. I have decided to learn to enjoy what I have, not to complain about what I don't. And it has been one of the best decisions I have made. 

If I am content, if I can rejoice and love my life just as it is now while hoping and waiting for the ONE, it is only because of Him. It is a gift of grace. My whole life and journey are a gift of grace. I know that He cares about my heart and my life even more than I do. This is a fact. It is what I know. And it is enough.

When God Is Enough

Valentine's Day is here. I realized that when I saw the decorations in town. While surfing the net, I also came across some articles on the same topic: A Single Girl's (tried and true) Guide to Valentine's Day or How to Survive Valentine's Day If You Are Single. And all I could do was smile. But even though I had a smile on my face, I realized that they reflect a sad reality. There are a lot of lonely people for whom the burden of singleness is too heavy to bear. And this type of articles are meant to help people forget about the emptiness they feel in their hearts. They try to give some shallow solutions to a deep problem. They try to find some short-term solutions and they may work for a while. But they do not solve the real problem.

So, while thinking about singleness and loneliness, my thoughts took me back in time to the day when I first realized that marriage will not make me happy. I also remember the day when I understood for the first time that God has to be enough and everything for me if I want to be happy. That was the beginning of an unforgetful journey with God. A journey with ups and downs. It took time for the truth to sink in. It took time for me to learn to let God control this area of my life. It took time to learn to be content in my singleness. And even though I was slow, I am happy that God had not given up on me.

If today I am happy as a single person, is because God is enough for me. He is everything for me. If I am content, it is because I chose to enjoy life as it is now. I chose to serve and I find joy and fulfillment in my service. I chose to give Him my future. I chose to give Him my dreams and my desires. I chose to give Him the pen to write my love story in His own time. And I know that He is working on it. Marriage is not the ultimate relationship we were created for. A relationship will not make us happy if we were not happy before. Until God is enough, we will never have enough.

Yes, there are days when I feel lonely. There are times when I ask Him: how long? And, yes, I have unanswered questions. But since God is enough, I can live with unanswered questions, I can still be content and happy because I give Him my burden, because I trust Him and because I know that, whatever He does, He does it for my best. You see, I can enjoy life because it is not about me. It is about His plans for me and my salvation. If He promised to lead me, why should I worry? If it is all about me being saved, why would I want a relationship at the price of my salvation? I asked Him to do anything that it takes to mold me and shape me into His likeness, and I believe that this is what He is doing right now.

So, praise God that I can say today: Jesus Christ is more than enough for me. It is all because of Him and His love for me.

Never Settle for Less than God's Best

We all have the tendency to succumb to pressure. Be it peer pressure, or the pressure of our own sinful desires, or social pressure. This is the human nature. It is often under pressure that we settle for less than God's best for us. It is so easy to decide to pursue God's very best when reading a book about surrender. Or when spending time with Him in the morning. But when the rubber meets the road, when we are faced with temptations, things are not the same.

It is easy to hold on to the ideal when surrounded by people who encourage you to do so and who strive to do so themselves. But what about when people around you live their lives as if they are their own? As if there is no such thing as God's best for them? They are content with a ordinary mediocre life. And for them this is "the best". Some of them might be godless, but others might be Christians. They might profess that they love God and serve Him. It is around such people that you are challenged the most.

It is so easy to be content with less around the latter group because God's very best for you may be equal to narrow mindedness, or stupidness, or silliness, or living from books to them. One is simply outdated around such people. So, settling for less seems the perfect solution. It's hard to be odd, to be outdated, to be just different. Mixing in the crowd is so much easier.

A lot of times the times we don't even realize we are settling for less because we don't do it purposely. It just comes naturally from the desire to be like the rest of the group. Just think a little, who likes to be odd? Who likes not to be able to laugh about certain jokes when everybody else is laughing? Who likes to to be laughed at because he reads his Bible? Who prefers to spend the evening alone when everybody else is watching a movie (I am not talking about good educational movies)?

While thinking about the times when I did settle for less, I asked myself a question: Isn't pursuing God's best for me just an excuse for being a difficult person? Or for being picky? (I'm alluding here mainly to relationships.) 

I've been accused of being too righteous and picky in different occasions. It seems that what is pursuing God's best for me, for some people is just my caprice. Am I being picky and too righteous? Are they right? For instance, let's look at the area of relationships. Am I using the excuse of waiting on God's timing and God's best just to cover for my caprice? Just think a little: in my late 20s, haven't been in a relationship for more than 9 years and I have been just in one relationship all my life, I have traveled the world in the past 7 years so I had a lot of opportunities to meet guys (so they say).

I did some soul searching as I do from time to time. I asked Him what He thinks about this. What He thinks about me being different, about me being single? And you know what He told me? He told me to follow Him. And he also told me to wait on Him. He was also different. 

"I will never ever make another decision on my own." This is what I promised Him 9 years ago. And I am still sticking to that promise. I know that I am following Him. I know that  I am waiting on Him. I also know that my life is in His hands. I believe that I am seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness and He will take care of all my needs. Yes, I am an old fashioned girl who trusts her Father and I am proud of it! I believe that my Father is looking after me so I don't have to worry.

Settling for less than His best...

I was tempted to do it so many times... just because I was so tired to be different, to be odd. But God nudged me and reminded me that I should allow Him to be in charge. I might be odd, I might be old fashioned, but I do not care! He was odd, too!

So, thank God that every time I tend to drift away and be content with less than His best for me, He is right there sending me signals that I am going in the wrong direction. And He patiently waits for me to get the message and come back on the track to pursue His best for me. 

Note to self: Don't you ever settle for less than God's very best for you, Raluca!

Letting It Go....

To let go... one of those painful character building experiences we never want to experience. But we all pass through here and we all have to let go certain things or people from our lives sooner or later. 

I asked myself why is the process of letting go so painful. And here is the answer I came up with. 

When we have something or somebody in our lives, things or people that we cherish, that are so important to us, they make us feel secure. They give us a reason of living and being, a reson to smile and laugh, to look forward to the future. We may feel that with them we can go through everything in life because we know God brought them there. Once they disappear, once God considers He has to take them back or allows Satan to take them, we lose the security, the identity, the reason to smile and look forward to the future. 

I have wondered over and over if it is wrong to find our security and identity in things or people. Is God asking us to find those things just in Him? Are we to go ahead in life without having something tangible that will give us a reason to live and laugh and enjoy life? Are we supposed not to get attached to things and people and to live an austere life? What's then the purpose of everything God sends us?

I see our identity, our reason of being and living, our sercurity like a tree. A tree with deep roots, with trunk and branches and leafs and flowers. I think that the root belongs to God. The root is the identity, security and reason of living that we find in Him and Him alone. And I also see the trunk and branches as the tangible things, the people He sends in our lives to give us an identity and security, a reason to live and enjoy life. Sometimes, God considers that the tree needs some adjustments, some more shaping. So He cuts a brench here and there. Sometimes the shaping process needs cuting the whole trunk. But if the root is well anchored in Him, if the tree finds the source of life in Him, then the root will feed the tree and a new trunk and new branches will grow again. Finding our identity and security in things or people is not wrong as long as we have our root in God. Because it is Him who gives us things and people, sometimes for a longer period of time, sometimes for just a while, so we may enjoy life, so we may have the power to smile and be glad.

I realised that a lot of times what brings the most pain is not losing the thing or the person in itself. Sometimes it is more painful to loose the security and the identity that came along with that thing or person. It's normal to get used in time to not having the presence of those things and people in our lives, but we certainly cannot get used to having the emptiness, the insecurity and the lack of identity that their disappearance brings.

Though it is hard to lose both things and people, I must admit that losing the latter is much harder. It takes a lot of courage and real love to be able to let them go. It takes real love for them and real love for God. Would we risk to ask God to give them back to us at any price, at the price of their happiness and their salvation? Have you ever prayed for somebody that God will not give them to you but do what is the best for them? As young people when we admire somebody, can we pray that God will give them the person that will make them happy, that will help them shape their character and be saved? Can we say "Your will be done" when it comes about being with someone we cherish? If we can, than we should know that this is true love. Yes, sometimes love means to be able to let him/her go because their happiness and salvation is more important to us than having them... Because true love is unselfish. We may understand or we may not understand why God brought them for just a period of time in our lives. But we should know that He surely had a purpose and we should be thankful if they helped us be better persons, if their presence brought a smile on our faces and made us feel secure.

So I thank God for teaching me to let go of things, to let go of people. And also for teaching me to be happy that I had them even for just a while. He surely knows what He is doing. And I'm sure it's for my best.

Some of you may think I'm talking from books. Let me tell you that I'm not.

Christmas Again... And Time for Decisions

I cannot believe it is Christmas already... One more year passed. Compared to last year, this year I have a very, very quiet Christmas.

No more soccer games to watch,

no church service to attend,

no special dinner to cook... since I am at home just with my sister, my brother and grandpa.



Instead I've got a lot of time to think - evaluate and plan and make some decisions. Though I cannot say I like this quiet and cold Christmas, I know I need it. I need this time to think about what I have done so far and what I am going to do from now on.

Since I am still at a cross road and I need to make a choice soon, I decided it would be good if I go online and listen to some presentations on understanding God's will. So today I went to AudioVerse and downloaded some sermons that prooved to be a tremendous blessing. Ron Clouzet has some rally good presentations on the topic. I really enjoyed listening to him. He gives seven steps that can be a help in discerning God's will:

1. Surrender your entire will to God.
2. Believe His will for you is always the best.
3. Check the Scripture in order to follow it.
4. Pray for guidance and strength.
5. Consider how God led you in the past.
6. Seek counsel from unbiased Godly friends.
7. Move forward.

After analizing my situation, I realized I have followed this steps and the time has now come that I move forward. He also said something that I knew but that I needed to hear again: "When you follow all these steps, there is a point when you need to make a decision. If you make no decision you will make a mistake. It is better to make a decision and make a mistake than make no decision. If you make a decision sincerily, genuinly, God will take care of you when you make the mistake. If you thought everything is leading you in this direction and if it is the wrong direction, God will make a detour because you have done your part, you have sought His will."

So, having this in mind, after I have analized my situation, I have decided to go ahead and try to get my Guyanese visa one more time. So I'm going ahead with my plans for Guyana until God will either open or close all the doors. I know it will not be easy to stick to my decision since some of people I love and respect do not agree with me but I know God will help me.

There are several reasons why I decided to go ahead with my Guyana plans. First, I know for sure God called me there 3 years ago but I have nothing to tell me He wants me somewhere else. Then, I know there is a need for continuity, for people who already understand the culture and thus can befriend and understand people easier. Then, there is my love for Guyana because of what the Lord has done in my life and how He changed me there. Then, I love the jungle and the quiet life, I love gardening, cooking over an open fire, washing clothes at the river... In a nut shell, I love the challenges of the jungle living and I really think this is a gift from God since not so many people find jungle living atractive.

Then, there is one more thing I decided. To some may sound wierd, some will not understand... While talking to God one night before I fell asleep, I decided to put aside any thoughts on romance and marriage. I believe God thinks I can serve better as a single person. So, marriage is not for me. I do not say this because I have no perspective or because I want to shock some of you. I just beleive that God is coming soon and that I need to focus on serving Him and spreading the Gospel and a relationship will distract me from fully focusing on service. So, here I am happy and ready to face a life of service having God as my friend. I have already served for three years as a single person and I have grumbled at times for being alone. This time I am going having another mindset and I know that things will be different.

I'm looking forward to the things God has in store for me! Looking forward to serving and also to learning from Him.