Our Love Story - The Friendship

IMPACT Romania organizing team and some speakers

This is part 4 of our Love Story. 

If you have not read part 1, 2 and 3 you can go here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Raluca

For some reason it was not easy to get this guy out of my mind. I did not know if he was interested in me or not, but there was something special about him. He did not ask for my email address, neither did he give me his to send him the power point presentation and I was wondering if he will get in touch with me. I got home only to discover that he had already added me on Facebook and has written me a FB message reminding me that I promised him to send him the power point presentation of my workshop. This is how we started corresponding. Than a few days later I send him a happy birthday message on his birthday telling him that I am praying for him (which believe me that I was). He answered back and told me that this is the most precious gift someone has ever given him on his birthday. His answer gave me a lot to think about... And the emails continued. We mostly exchanged ideas about prayer and Bible insights.

I remember telling God: "God, I have no clue what kind of guy I need. I also do not know this guy. Keep my heart safe for the one You have for me." For some time, just the thought of someone being interested in me made me afraid of loosing the peace and balance that I found in God. But things seemed to be different in this case.

I had always prayed that God will give me someone who will make his intentions known from the beginning, who will not leave me hanging in there wondering what he wants from me and why is he paying attention to me. So, when in his second email (not counting the 3 FB messages we exchanged) Roman told me that he wants to get to know me, I was happy that he was very open with me. In replay I asked him if he is sure that God wants him to get to know me and why did he want to get to know me. He told me a few things that you can read HERE. He was not sure that this is from God, so he asked me to pray with him that, if this is not from God, He will take away his interest. We kept writing back and forth. Our emails were saturated with spiritual things, lessons that God was teaching us. His love for God brought me closer and closer to my Father.

A week into our correspondence I decided to start a Daniel's fast in order to seek for God's will for this friendship. So I told Roman about it and invited him to join me if he wants to. He was hesitant, but God convicted him that he should join me.

Getting to know him and seeing His love for God was wonderful. I could hardly wait for his next email. And I had such a deep peace about everything, a deep peace that I did not know before. It so happened that every time I liked a guy or a guy liked me, I had never had peace in my heart.

About the same time when we started fasting, we started to write daily a lot of emails. After a couple of days with many emails flying back and forth, Roman wrote me the following email:

Yesterday in our small Bible group I was impressed that I was writing with you too much. I really enjoy sharing and communicating with you about God and it helped me to grow in understanding, but I need to focus more on Jesus. Also I do not want this to affect neither you nor me in finding out God's will. I realize that I pay to much attention to the emails, wondering all the time if there is a new message... I want to fast from this also. But I would be glad to communicate with you once a day about how the fasting and praying is going.

I should have been offended, shouldn't I? Well, I was not offended at all! Instead I remember having such a deep peace and thinking: "Here is a guy who loves God more than he likes me. This is the type of guy I want."

Since IMPACT Romania was coming closer and since I wanted Roman to be able to see me in my own environment, I invited him to come and join our conference. I knew that, as a Programming Director, I would be very busy and I would hardly have time for him. But I wanted him to see who I was, how I handled stressful situations (this is not something I am proud of). I did not feel the need to impress him. Instead I wanted him to see who the real Raluca is. I also wanted to have the chance to get to know him better. He prayed about it, God opened the doors and five weeks after we first met he flew to Romania to spend 12 days with my family.

A couple of days before he arrived, I started to worry: "Why did I invite him? What if I do not like him? What if we do not get along?" I was very anxious when I went to sleep that night. It was for the first time since we started corresponding that I felt that way. Next morning I was reading my Bible. As I was reading 2 Timothy, I came across this verse: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Tim. 1:7) and I knew it is for me. As I read it, my fearful heart was filled with a deep peace.

Roman came a few days before the conference and we spent a wonderful time together. He had the opportunity to preach in my place and I translated for him. We took walks and talked about our background, family, past, dreams... Than during the conference, even though my schedule was hectic, we still found time to talk a little bit. When I did not have time to have breakfast (which happened pretty much every morning), he was kind enough to take care of me and bring me fruit.

I will always remember our Friday night talk during the IMPACT Conference. It was one of those talks that cannot be forgotten. Roman wanted to let me know where we are at in our friendship and I really appreciated that he was open with me. The conclusion of the talk: he liked me, he liked my family, he enjoyed spending time with me, but he did not have the assurance that this is God's will. So he wanted to pray more about it to make sure that this is not his will, but God's.

I was happy that he did not take lightly the decision to pursue a relationship. And I knew that God will show him what to do. I already knew that God is in this and that He was leading. Deep down in my heart I knew that He will lead us to start a relationship, but I chose not to tell him anything. I just told him that I respect him as a leader and that he has to find answers for himself, so he should not expect me to let him know God's answer for us if I have one.

Roman

I did not expect that! I was hoping that, since she was involved in prayer ministry, God will tell her what to do, than she will tell me and things will be very easy. But even though I did not expect it, I appreciated the fact that she respected me as a leader. This made me even more aware of the responsibility that I had. And somehow I loved it. It simply felt right. And it brought me closer to God, because I saw that I had to make an important decision, which was going to have an impact on both of us!

I also talked to her dad the next day and let him know also where we were at and what are my thoughts. I wanted her dad to know that I am still praying and waiting for an answer from God if I should go ahead and enter into a relationship with his daughter.

Raluca

I was praying that he could make a decision before he went home. But when he told me on Friday evening that he does not have an answer from God, I started to doubt that God will answer my prayer because He was going to leave in three days. But God showed me again that His plans know not any haste or delay. When we are surrendered to Him, there is nothing to fear cause He makes everything beautiful in His time.

Roman

I was praying that God will clearly show me His will. Someone once told me about a small cat they had. They would give the cat milk, but the cat would not eat. They had to put the cat with the mouth in the milk and it was only then that the cat would start eating. So I told the Lord that He will have to do with me like just like these people were doing with the cat for me to clearly understand His will.

On Sabbath noon we were talking a walk with a few people who were attending the IMPACT Congress. I started to walk with Daniel Pel, one of the main speakers for the conference. I knew him a little bit since he held some meetings in our church and stayed in our house for two weeks. We started to talk about relationships and I asked him how we can know God's will when it comes to relationships. He told me several things. First of all, he recommended me to read chapter 6 in the book "Adventist Home". There I could find what a man should look for in a woman and a woman in a man, before they consider courtship. If those requirements are met the council is given "Move forward in the fear of the Lord." He also told me that sometimes God is opening certain doors and we have to be watchful and use those doors. If we don't, it might take a long time for another door to be opened. The other thing that he told me (after taking quite some time of "thinking" - I assume he was praying), shocked me even more: "From what I know about you and Raluca, I think you would make a good couple." I did not expect such a straightforward answer. But I realized that this is exactly what I have been praying for. After reading the recommended chapter, after seeing those qualities in Raluca and considering the way God has been leading and giving me peace, I decided that this is the right time to take this friendship to the next level.

Our first picture as a couple

To read the rest of our Love Story go here:

Part 5

Part 6

Our Love Story: What I Liked About Roman from the Very Beginning

This is part 3 of our Love Story. 

If you have not read part 1 and part 2 you can go here:

Part 1

Part 2 

I have never celebrated Valentine's Day and I do not make such a big deal out of this day. I find it hard to say Happy Valentine's Day because it has no meaning to me, but I like to find excuses to celebrate and do something special. So Valentine's Day is a perfect excuse for celebrating. Today, since I am far away from my sweetheart and we cannot do something special together, I decided to blog about what I liked about him from the very beginning.

The very first think that impressed me was the fact that he is a thinker. He was not content with swallowing the ideas that I presented in the workshop. He started thinking about what he heard and wanted to share his thoughts and ideas with me. It has never happened to me before. I was surprised and I loved it.

Than while we were talking, he wanted to draw my attention to something I said in the workshop that could have been interpreted in a wrong way. He did this with so much tact. I was again impressed. It showed me that he can approach difficult subjects with very much wisdom and tact. I am so thankful that he has this quality!

God has also used him to show me something. Before Youth in Mission I was wondering if we should have an all night prayer meeting during YiM. I decided that it would be too much since I was not going to get too much sleep at night. But while talking to Roman, he asked me to tell him more about the all night prayer meetings and if we are going to have one. Before he did that another friend asked the same thing. So, when Roman asked the same question, I knew that the Lord is speaking to me and I should ask permission to have an all night prayer meeting.

I was also impressed by his attire. I could see that he knows how to dress, how to match colors. Actually, he seemed quite trendy to me. He was not extravagant, which is usually associated with being trendy, but he simply looked good in what he was wearing. Not to say that he was good looking.

Well, to understand better why I liked Roman from the very beginning, I decided to share with his permission an excerpt from one of his emails to me. Right after we started corresponding, in his second email to me Roman told me that he wants to get to know me better. I wrote back asking why me and if he is sure that this is what the Lord wants. Here it is what he wrote back:

Raluca, I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts with me about the topic I raised. I would like to encourage you never to allow anyone or anything to get between you and Jesus! It is inspiring to know that there are people who are honest about their relationship with the Lord! To be honest, it would make things much easier and less complicated if the Lord made it clear to me that I should not be interested in having a relationship and if I knew that God's way for me is to stay single and happy with Him! For a relationship does cost time and effort, and this effort will only be blessed if it is from the Lord.

I hate to waste time... And whatever is going to happen I like you as a person (as little as I was able to get to know you) and sister in the Lord and would be glad if we could be friends in sharing and growing to a higher experience with God.

Nevertheless I have been asking God for a while to take away any interest in getting married if He wants me to stay single. But I have also prayed that if He wants me to be in a relationship to prepare me for my wife and her for me.

I believe that God places good desires/wishes in our hearts. When I try to imagine how a wife would be like, in my mind she is a woman who can pray.

Sister White stated that the biggest curse for a minister is an unsanctified wife! This really made me think! I am thinking that I'd rather stay single than to make the wrong decision. I want the full blessing of the Lord, not His curse!

I also prayed for a wife who would bring me closer to God, who would inspire me to be a better Christian.

Beside the fact that the Lord created you in a way that glorifies Him as Creator (and is notable from me as a man), it was the spiritual aspect that interested me the most. If it had not been for that, I would not have asked permission to get to know you better.

I am a very practical person. To decide if a relationship might be considered (which we are not talking about) it is helpful to simply get to know a person better. When I could see that the goals in life are different, than the answer is clear.

If a relationship is not helping both persons to grow spiritually and to come closer to God, it is a waste of time. I do not want anything like that.

I am more of a private person. I do not need a lot of people around to be happy and also do not open up to everyone. Still sometimes I meet a person in whom I can trust even though I have known this person only briefly. I don't know why, but I found it easy to trust you.

I find it interesting that God put the desire in my heart to have a deeper experience in prayer, and it is also interesting that your booth (ARME) was right next to ours, what gave me the opportunity to talk to you. I think He made me trust you and be open with you even though I hardly knew you. I do not think that it is by chance that shortly before YiM I was writing with your friend Marisa who told me that your prayer ministry had an impact on her life.

All these things do not necessarily mean anything. But I am observing and trying to evaluate the information. I am also praying for a better understanding.

I can say that I am absolutely with you! It is a big deal who we are friends with and how we are using our time. If by any means that fact that we are friends would distract you or me from God, I agree that this should not happen.

I am happy being single. Still sometimes there is something missing. Maybe like with Adam who spent time with Jesus, after Jesus left, he had none to share with what he had experienced that day.

If this desire is not from God, could you do me a favor and pray that God would take it away?

Have a good night.

Roman

Tell me, how could I not love this guy?

To read the rest of our Love Story go here:

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Our Love Story - How We Met

This is the second part of a series about our love story. 

If you have not read the first part, you can read it here: 

Part 1 

Roman:

I heard about Raluca a few months before I met her. I was working on a book, getting it ready to be printed out. I asked Marissa who was doing the formatting of the book to do it before a certain date because I wanted to have it printed for Youth in Mission Congress. She was happy to hear about Youth in Mission and she told me that Raluca, one of her friends, whose prayer ministry changed her life, will be there. I did not know who this friend was, but when I arrived there, I had the chance to see her. I saw her picture in the booklet and that she had a workshop on prayer. Then I remember one of my co-workers talking to a dark-haired girl. At this moment I could see more of her curly hair than her face, but something got my attention.

Raluca:

It all started with a prayer. "Lord, give me Germany or I die!" I was helping in the prayer room at Youth in Mission Congress in April 2012. I was there to pray with people, but it seemed that people did not want to pray with me. They were too afraid to pray with someone else. So, on a Friday evening, I decided to wrestle with God in prayer and claim Germany and Germans for His glory. I was inspired by the prayer John Knox prayed: "Give me Scotland, or I die". So I prayed the same prayer for Germany. Little did I know that God will answer this prayer in ways I have never ever thought about. It has not crossed my mind at that time that a German husband could be one of his answers to my prayer.

You see, I gave God the pen to write my love story 12 years ago. After a heartbreaking and painful experience I decided that I do not want to make choices for myself anymore and I promise God that I will allow Him to make the decisions for me. There were times when I almost picked up the pen again, there were times when I could not find joy in my singleness, when the thought that I might never get married scared me. There were times when I wrestled with God in prayer reminding Him that I am serving Him and that He forgot about my emotional needs. But God did not give up on me and He kept my heart safe... He kept teaching me to be content in Him and to allow Him to lead me. As I entered my 30s, instead of being more desperate, I started to become more and more content in my singleness. As I drew closer and closer to my Savior, as I discovered a deeper and more meaningful relationship with Him, I started to find more and more joy in His presence. He became everything and enough for me. So the thought that I might never get married did not scare me anymore. Pouring my life into His service brought so much peace and joy and happiness to my heart. He was everything I needed. I did not need anybody to make me happy because He was my happiness. There were evenings when I still felt lonely. I still wanted to get married. But I chose to surrender both my loneliness and desire to have a family to Him. Knowing that He wants what is best for me and will not do anything to harm me gave me such a deep peace.

I went back in Germany a year after I prayed: "Lord, Give me Germany or I die". In the same place, for the same purpose.

Roman:

Just before GYC in Europe I became more and more aware of my need to have a deeper relationship with God. This time, just before Youth in Mission I realized that I need to spend more time in prayer and to learn more about how to draw close to God in prayer. I was interested to go to a workshop on prayer, but I had a dilemma: there were two workshops on prayer in the same time. What workshop should I go to? I really wanted to go to Raluca's workshop, but I asked myself: "Why do you want to go there? For the workshop or for the speaker?" I really did not want to go for the wrong motives. After thinking things through, I decided to go to hers. I arrived late and sat in the back. Some things that she said hit home for me. I started to see some things in a new light and decided to share with her some of my thoughts, if I had the chance.

The next day, I was trying to decide if I should go to outreach or to the prayer room. I decided to go to the prayer room to pray if there were not too many people. If the room was full, I would go to outreach. I was happy to see that the room was not full, there was still space. Soon the room was too small and people had to turn back. Had I come a little later, things might have been different. I was amazed that prayer can be so interesting, especially when you pray the Scriptures... In one of the breaks between the prayer sessions, I got the courage to go and talk to Raluca. I told her that I want to share some thoughts with her. We decided to talk later that day when we were both at our booths. So as I shared my thoughts with her later that day, she did not seem impressed at all. It seemed to me that she already knew all the things and she did not seem as excited as I was. (Later on I found out that she was excited, but she was just not showing it). Even though she did not seem excited, I was not discouraged and was still determined to find out more about her. Having the booths next to each other offered us the opportunity to interact a little bit and see her interact with other people. She was very friendly and open with people and I was impressed.

Raluca:

After a prayer session I was approached by a gentleman who told me that he has attended my workshop and that he would like to share some thoughts on prayer with me. We met later that day and as I was listening to the different connections he had made between different Bible verses and some of the things I had said in the workshop, I remember thinking: "Here is someone different." I was used to people coming to me for counseling and advice. He did not need any advice, he did not have any struggles he wanted counsel for. He simply discovered things and he wanted to share them with me. I was impressed.

Between the time he told me that he wants to share some thoughts with me and the time we actually talked I counseled a guy who was facing some challenges. Since he was a man and his challenges were specific for men, I remember thinking: "Lord, I am fine being single, but right now I need a man to counsel the men." Little did I know that I was soon going to speak to the one who was God's answer to this prayer.

Roman:

I wanted to be able to read the quotes again so I asked her for the power point presentation. She promised to send it to me and this was a perfect opportunity for me to contact her after the congress :-) I was determined to write to her as soon as I got home. And this is exactly what I did.

When the congress ended I really wanted to tell Raluca goodbye, but she was talking to some people and I was not comfortable walking to her. I was happy when I ran into her while coming back from my car. We shook hands and said goodbye. It was a little awkward because I kind of lost my words while looking at her and seeing her smile.

Raluca:

We left Youth in Mission telling each other that we will meet again six months later at the ARME Bible Camp. But God had other plans for us.

To read the rest of our Love Story go here:

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6