Being right is one of those rights some of us
defend at any price. When we feel we have been treated unjustly and the person
does not want to admit it, we go to court so others can prove that we are
right. When we think we have the biblical truth, we want to prove others that
they are wrong. When we think that someone has done a mistake, we take it as
our duty to point out the mistake. More than that, when someone wrongs us, we
do not waste any effort to prove to them that we have the right to be treated
right.
There is nothing wrong with being right. And
there is nothing wrong with wanting to be right. But to be right it is not
enough. Being right without humility leads to arrogance. And truth without love
kills.
To have the truth is not everything. What we
do with it matters even more. People should be attracted to the truth. But a
lot of times they are not. Why? There are different reasons, but I want to talk
only about one of them. Because we use the truth and the Bible to humiliate
people, to prove how wrong they are and how good we are. In 2 Selected
Messages, 328 we are told: "Read your Bible with much prayer. Do not try to humble others, but try to
humble yourself before God, and deal gently with one another." When we
use the Bible as a weapon and a mean to humiliate others, we are not doing
Christ's work.
The Bible was not meant to be used with
harshness, neither was it meant to be used to support our own ideas. But many
of those who think that they are always right feel free to apply its teachings
as to support their erroneous ideas.
Someone once talked to a young man who was spending a lot of time with a young girl, but with no intention to pursue her further. When confronted with his behavior, the young man told that Jesus spent time with the Samaritan woman (mind you, He was not a very close friend of hers, neither was He spending time with her behind closed doors) and He was also good friends with Mary and Martha (mind you, He was not spending time daily with them or telling them His heart's deepest secrets).
We have all met people who are ALWAYS right.
People who, when confronted with something somebody else thinks it is wrong, do
not search their heart to seek the truth, but instantly try to bring excuses as
to why they are right, cause they HAVE to be right. It does not even enter
their minds that they could be wrong. As we have seen already, they can even
find biblical verses to back up what they do. Right or wrong, it takes a lot of
humility to search your heart and admit the possibility that you might be
wrong.
I once talked to a church leader who made fun
of one of his members behind his back. I told him that such a behavior is not
honorable for him, no matter what the member did (especially since the member
did not do anything against him). He started to tell me how much he has to
suffer the consequences of this member's behavior. I told him that Jesus has to
suffer the consequences of his (this leader) behavior, too, but He does not
make fun of him. And that we need to strive to be like Jesus. He tried to tell
me that it is not the same thing... (Right, Jesus suffers because of him, much
more than he has to suffer because of this member. But obviously he did not
understand this.). He kept on excusing his behavior, so I chose to leave things
at that, because I realized that, no matter what I said, he will keep on
bringing excuses. I do not need to tell you what happened to my respect for
that leader...
Sometimes, when you are right, it is wiser to
leave things as they are, because if there is no humility, people will not
accept that they can be wrong. It is only the Holy Spirit that can convict
people of sin. And sometimes, people refuse the work of the Holy Spirit for a
time. I learned this valuable lesson from my dear husband. He once had to talk
to someone about something they have done wrong. I asked him how was the
conversation. He does not like to give me details about such personal talks.
The only thing he told me was: "I told them my point of view, but they
could not understand it. It was like we talked two different languages. So I
left it to that. I did not insist because it would have led nowhere." Praise
God for wise husbands!!!
We have the right to be right, we need to tell
the truth, but we also have the right to be humble and wise in dealing with
people who are wrong. I know people who have pushed away all the people around
them, who are lonely and miserable because they always think they are right.
They feel it is their duty to convict people of sin. But they NEVER accept
reproach. They always have an excuse for their behavior. And I feel sorry for
them cause, even though they might have the truth, they are still wrong. They
might have the right concept, but they have the wrong attitude.
That leads me to another point. It is not our
duty to convict people of sin. This is not one of the duties God gave us. It is
only the duty of the Holy Spirit. This does not mean that we should not talk to
people about things they have done wrong. But we need not play the Holy Spirit
with them. If they do not accept our reproof, it is either because the Holy
Spirit is not working through us or they are rejecting the voice of the Holy
Spirit. And we should be wise to leave it to that and allow the Holy Spirit to
work in His own time and peace. But we need humility for that. And if it is
missing, we will push things on people until we will drive them away from us.
The next thing we do is that we will tell ourselves that we are so holy and so
right that we are persecuted from within the church. I am not denying the
existence of the persecution from within the church, but I believe that part of
it comes as a result of our lack of humility and wisdom, of us trying to play the
Holy Spirit and convict people of sin.
