I asked myself why is the process of letting go so painful. And here is the answer I came up with.
When we have something or somebody in our lives, things or people that we cherish, that are so important to us, they make us feel secure. They give us a reason of living and being, a reson to smile and laugh, to look forward to the future. We may feel that with them we can go through everything in life because we know God brought them there. Once they disappear, once God considers He has to take them back or allows Satan to take them, we lose the security, the identity, the reason to smile and look forward to the future.
I have wondered over and over if it is wrong to find our security and identity in things or people. Is God asking us to find those things just in Him? Are we to go ahead in life without having something tangible that will give us a reason to live and laugh and enjoy life? Are we supposed not to get attached to things and people and to live an austere life? What's then the purpose of everything God sends us?
I see our identity, our reason of being and living, our sercurity like a tree. A tree with deep roots, with trunk and branches and leafs and flowers. I think that the root belongs to God. The root is the identity, security and reason of living that we find in Him and Him alone. And I also see the trunk and branches as the tangible things, the people He sends in our lives to give us an identity and security, a reason to live and enjoy life. Sometimes, God considers that the tree needs some adjustments, some more shaping. So He cuts a brench here and there. Sometimes the shaping process needs cuting the whole trunk. But if the root is well anchored in Him, if the tree finds the source of life in Him, then the root will feed the tree and a new trunk and new branches will grow again. Finding our identity and security in things or people is not wrong as long as we have our root in God. Because it is Him who gives us things and people, sometimes for a longer period of time, sometimes for just a while, so we may enjoy life, so we may have the power to smile and be glad.
I realised that a lot of times what brings the most pain is not losing the thing or the person in itself. Sometimes it is more painful to loose the security and the identity that came along with that thing or person. It's normal to get used in time to not having the presence of those things and people in our lives, but we certainly cannot get used to having the emptiness, the insecurity and the lack of identity that their disappearance brings.
Though it is hard to lose both things and people, I must admit that losing the latter is much harder. It takes a lot of courage and real love to be able to let them go. It takes real love for them and real love for God. Would we risk to ask God to give them back to us at any price, at the price of their happiness and their salvation? Have you ever prayed for somebody that God will not give them to you but do what is the best for them? As young people when we admire somebody, can we pray that God will give them the person that will make them happy, that will help them shape their character and be saved? Can we say "Your will be done" when it comes about being with someone we cherish? If we can, than we should know that this is true love. Yes, sometimes love means to be able to let him/her go because their happiness and salvation is more important to us than having them... Because true love is unselfish. We may understand or we may not understand why God brought them for just a period of time in our lives. But we should know that He surely had a purpose and we should be thankful if they helped us be better persons, if their presence brought a smile on our faces and made us feel secure.
So I thank God for teaching me to let go of things, to let go of people. And also for teaching me to be happy that I had them even for just a while. He surely knows what He is doing. And I'm sure it's for my best.
Some of you may think I'm talking from books. Let me tell you that I'm not.
