Sunday, September 26, 2010


I'm back home... In fact, I'd better say, I'm back from Africa because I'm not sure where is home. Right now I am visiting my parents in Istanbul and I will be soon heading to Romania since I miss so much my sweet nephew and niece.

What is next... is a mystery. It would be very weird to know where I am heading. :) Don't get me wrong. I would liked to know what the future holds for me and where is my next destination, but It has not been revealed to me. I'm praying and waiting and trusting that I am going to know at the right time. For now I know a few things:

- that I have to write my thesis in order to finish my Master Degree and it is going to take 3-4 months of hard and intense work,

- that I want to continue to do mission work even though I do not know what form it will take,
- that I am not going back to the same project in Namibia,
- that I am at peace with the unknown for now and with the idea of staying and working on my thesis for a few months.

I've been a volunteer for the past five years and I have enjoyed what I have done 100%. But lately I have been thinking a lot about having a job, a paid job. It hasn't been easy to depend 100% on donations even though I cannot complain. I have had everything I needed and even more. God has been faithful all these years but I keep wondering if I should do something that will help me be on my own. Is it because my age? Is it because of the discussion I had with some of my friends? Is it because of my lack of faith? There are questions with no answer for now. I know just one thing, paid or not, volunteer or employee, I will still continue to do mission work. Where? I don't know. How? It is another unknown.

I fell in love with Africa and South America. At lease, with what I have seen in the 2 countries I have visited in Africa and 2 in South America. I fell in love with a simple life, with the jungle life. The thought of having to stop going to work in these poor countries, scares me. But my life is in His hands and

“I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,

O’er mountain, or plain, or sea;

I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,

I’ll be what You want me to be.”

Somewhere, deep down in my heart, I hope to be able to go back to the African or South American continent. It remains to be seen.

I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.


Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
And I know Who holds my hand.

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