Sunday, May 29, 2011

A Call to Prayer

I had just started to get comfortable - a job, a decent salary, a social life, friends and fun - when God tapped me on the shoulder. I can't remember very well how it all started even though it has been less than a month ago, but I have felt Him tapping on my shoulder harder and harder. And when He taps, one cannot simply ignore Him.

It was enough to see an example of someone who trusts Him and is led by Him, so, I told the Lord: "Lord, I want that!" "You can have it," He told me. It was as if scales fell off my eyes one more time and I understood again that His plans for me are big, bigger than I can imagine. It was as if His sweet soft voice wishpered in my ears: "What you are doing now is only temporarily. It is just a transition. I have bigger plans for you." I didn't argue with Him because I have suddenly started to feel tired of sitting in an office, but I have to admit that I thought in my mind: Bigger? What can be bigger than working for a christian television network and reaching millions of people?

"I have bigger plans for you!"

"Ok, I am fine with that! Just tell me what that is!"
"Tust Me!" that's all He told me.
"Lord, I have to admit that I am so afraid to step again on waters. I have been there for 5 years. I am also afraid that you will take me to places that I do not want to go to and ask me to do what I do not like to do. Just show me what you have for me and I will trust You!"
"Tust Me!" That is all He kept telling me.
And I kept telling Him of my fears until I decided it is of no use to go on and on like that.
"OK, Lord, I give in. I want to trust You, but fear keeps creeping in my heart. You have to take it away!"
It was all He was waiting for.

So, He started to show me a little of those bigger plans. First, He started to work again on my prayer life. Between hours spent on my knees and on prayer calls, listening to powerful sermons and studying the Word, I have realized once again that there are many things He needs to change in me. So, fear has crept in again in my heart. I started bargaining again with God:

"Lord, I want to be changed but I am afaid of the radical changes You might do in my heart."
"Will you trust Me?" was His question.
"Lord, I want to trust You, but You have to understand that I am already odd. I am already different. I already have different values. I already cannot find my place among young people of my age because we do not have too many things in common. I am simply afraid that these changes will make me be even more odd."
"Will you trust Me?" He asked again.
"I want to but I can't! I am afaid!"
So He kept asking for an answer until I gave in again: "Lord, I know I cannot trust You but I want to. Take away my fear!"
That is all He was waiting for. And then, peace and joy flooded my heart.

So, this is what I believe, the beginning of a new chapter of my life. I do not know where He is leading me, I do not know what the future holds. I just know that, for now, I am called to rededicate my life to Him, to stay on my knees and hold on to Him until He blesses me and those I am praying for, and to do my best as translator. I just know that prayer, the exemple of strangers who are men of prayer and the friendship of godly people who are prayer warriors has changed my life and have challenged me to become a woman of prayer. No wonder why I lately felt the need to spend a lot of time alone with the Lord and why I am not looking anymore to my friends and my social life for fulfilment.

So, I believe that I would never be the same again! I know that He is faithful and will finished the work that He has started in me.


  1. As my daddy always says, "God gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him." He will do this with your future too!

    Well, I haven't gotten my blog updated yet, but I'm glad you have. Have a wonderful week....until we meet again! You're in my prayers.

  2. Mel, thanks a lot for being a prayer warrior! And thanks for allowing God to use you! Your friendship means more than you can imagine! I will never be the same again!