Ruth, a Story of Grace, Love and Redemption

I have always been fascinated by Ruth! There is something about her that makes her special to me. So, since my Bible study took me to the book of Ruth, I though that I should share a few of the insights on my blog.

Ruth's story is a story of God's grace in the middle of sorrow and pain. She becomes a widow at a very young age, but because she loves her mother-in-law she stays with her. When Naomi decides to return to her country, Ruth decides to go back with her, despite Naomi's plea to go back to her family. She leaves everything that was familiar to her to go to a place she has never been and join a people she is not part of and was very different from. I cannot help but wonder why did she make this choice? Why did she choose to go somewhere where she was a foreigner and intruder? It must have been something that she saw in her husband, Naomi and her family, something valuable that she wanted to have at any price, at the price of never seeing her family again. What a wonderful testimony of Naomi's faithfulness! And what a wonderful testimony of someone who wants to have Jesus at any price. What price am I willing to pay in order to have Him? How much do I value Jesus? How much do I want to have Him? I feel that many times we turn back before Naomi tells us to go back home. It might be because we have not tasted of how good He is and we have not yet seen something that we want to have at any price. Or we might be looking for the wrong things.

Ruth follows Naomi being very much aware that she might never get married again. Actually, Naomi uses this reason when trying to make her turn back. But for her having Jesus was more precious and more important than having a husband. I simply love her priorities. I am sure that she wanted to get married, but she knows what are the most important things in life and she is going to have them even at the price of some things that she would like to have. She knows what she cannot live without and she surrenders her desires. Ruth is going to have Jesus even at the price of remaining single for the rest of her life. You see, this is why I love Ruth.

There are so many lessons to learn from her life and I am definitely not going to speak about all of them. I am amazed of God led her to Boaz' field. It was not Naomi who sent her there in the first place and I know it because when she comes back Naomi wants to know where she has been. God knew exactly where to send her. Another thing that is really standing out for me is her character. When she goes to Boaz, he tells her that "all the people from my town know that you are a virtuous woman." I was curious to see if there are any more places where the Bible says about someone as being a virtuous woman and I discovered that the only place is Proverbs 31. It is obvious that she had a very good reputation and she was a woman of character. She was very loyal to her mother-in-law and she was very industrious.

I admire Ruth, but I also deeply admire Boaz. He did not attempt to take advantage of her. He did not look down on her because she was poor. He redeems her. His attitude calls for the highest praise. 

I believe that Ruth lived Matthew 6,33: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." She is one example that, when we seek for God and put Him first, He is faithful and He supplies for our physical and emotional needs. Her love story is one of the best love stories ever! Her life was not easy. She went through a lot. She suffered a lot. But she remained faithful to God and He rewarded her faithfulness.

More of Him

My heart is heavy and I know that I have done it again... I know I have glorified self, not Him. I know that I have pointed people to me, not to Him. I know that what I said and did was stained by self. Even though I do not want anything of me and I want it to be all about Him, there are still moments when it is me and not Him shining through. I can identify so well with Paul that says: "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do." (Romans 7:15)

So I dream of a day when there will be nothing of me. When it will be all about Him. A day when  I will be so hidden in Him, that He will shine through me in every single thing I do and say. When my words will be His words. When my actions will be His. When I will be only lifting people's thoughts higher and higher until they will rest only on the Lamb of God. When I will only be pointing them to the Lamb on the cross. When there will be no pride and selfishness left in my heart. The day when He will have 100% of my heart. When my eyes will look only to Him, not to me or to those around me. When my heart will learn His heartbeat. When my heart will break for the things that break His heart. When His tears will be my tears. When His passion will be my passion. When His agony will be my agony.

I dream of the day when the battle will be over, when I will be able to sing my heart out this song that I absolutely love:

"It is finished, the battle is over

It is finished, there'll be no more war

It is finished, the end of the conflict

It is finished and Jesus is Lord."

This are a few of the things that I have been dreaming about and praying for lately...

More of His Wonderful Blessings - AYC and Prayer Camp

AYC Prayer Team

When I look behind at the last 2 months of my life, I cannot but marvel at the wonderful things God did for me. First it was the GC Annual Council, than it was the AYC Congress in the Northern Germany and than the Prayer Camp in Romania. Even though I jumped from one plane to another and I had only one day between these three events, just enough to unpack and pack again, I praise God for strength. He knew that I would be traveling and He decided to build my body in such a way that I do not have a problem with the jet leg.

After the experience from GC Annual Council I decided not to do any more events without a prayer team and a lot of prayer behind the scenes before and during the event. And God sent a wonderful prayer team of 7 people at AYC, Germany. He did a miracle for one of the team members. She was not sure if she could come. But He proved again that He is more powerful than Satan and brought her. We spend a WONDERFUL time in prayer together early in the morning, during the day and late at night. I would not trade these moments for anything in the world.

The first night, after the program was done in the main auditorium, we got together to pray for an hour. We thought that it will only be our prayer team. Well, we ended up praying for two hours. As we were praying 9 more people joined us. The amazing thing is that 6 of them were from the organizing team! Praise God for leaders who see their need of prayer!

Another amazing thing is that the AYC was an answer to prayer for the local church. We have prayed for many months (since April) that God will provide a venue for AYC. But it seems that every time they found something and it seemed to be the right thing, the people canceled on them. It was not easy for the organizing team to know that they do not have a place for the congress. They even wanted to cancel the whole congress because they did not have a venue. God allowed them to go through the dark tunnel with apparently no light at end. And this united them in prayer. He provided the venue right before it was too late. They did not really like the fact that it was up North on an island, pretty far and isolated. But it was worth all the efforts and all the waiting, all the traveling because this was an answer to the prayers of the small church from the island who has been trying to follow God and spread the Gospel. As I got to pray and talk to a few of them, I realized that they are people of prayer. They have prayed for a long time for help to spread the Gospel on the island and AYC was God's answer to their prayers.

I was so impressed by a 12 year old girl from the island who came to the prayer room right after outreach to pray for the people she met during the outreach. Since our united prayer session was done and she was the only one in the prayer room, we just had special prayer for her (for around 10 minutes). Later on she went to her mom and told her that she was disappointed that we did not pray longer. How is that??? 12 year old girl... disappointed we did not pray longer??? Praise God for parents who raise their children for God!

Another thing that I decided after the GC Annual Council was to try and have an all night prayer meeting to the events I am going to. So, when we got there, we asked permission to have an all night prayer meeting. Permission was granted and we had an AMAZING and POWERFUL time in prayer until 2:45 in the morning. We had around 22 people join us which was a good number considering the fact that even though the Congress started with 250 people, some of them left on Sunday and there were only 100 something left on Sunday night.

During the all night prayer meeting one of our team members, Andre, left. I did now know where he went, but the next day he said that he went to talk to the guards about God. He told me something that revealed to me one more time the importance of intercession and prayer. He said that he had a wonderful and deep discussion with the guards as long as we were were praying in the prayer room. After we went to sleep around 3 AM they talked about irrelevant things!!!

Well, God showed me one more time that He loved Germany and He has many precious children there.

I came home determined not to go anywhere anymore. I had so much work to do and I needed rest. There was a prayer camp that started the very next day but since I did not hear from them, I thought that they did not need me anymore so I was determined not to go. Well, they contacted me a couple of days before the camp and insisted that I come. So I went. Boy, am I glad I went???

God really blessed this camp. It was a small camp of around 25-30 people. But I was very blessed. It is so good to meet Romanian people who are seeking for something more. We had 7 pastors join us and all of them loved united prayer.

We had an all night prayer meeting, as well, and prayed until 3 AM. Over 20 people came and prayed with us. It just showed me again that I need to try to do an all night prayer meeting at the events I am going to, if possible.

During the camp we prayed for the sister of one of the attendees. She is not an Adventist and she is a teacher. Three years ago she went with some students to the seaside. It so happened that two of them drowned and she was taken to court. She has been going to court for a while and it seemed that there is so much corruption and the others who should also be kept responsible try to throw all the blame on her and even bribe her lawyer so she had to change lawyers. Anyway, she had a hearing while we were in the camp and we prayed for her. The hearing lasted for 7 hours. She called to tell us that she felt the power of our prayers. She had peace the whole time.

Another thing we prayed for was the family of one of the attendees. His brother got married more than a year ago against the will of his parents and this affected their relationship. His mom simply did not want to accept his decision and there was a lot of tension and fighting back and forth. So we pleaded with God that He will take away the tension and mend the broken relationship. Two days after the camp he texted me and told me that his brother called his mom and that she told him that she forgave him.

It was amazing to see God brining together people from my own country with a passion for prayer. As you know, I have not really done a lot in my country because God did not open opportunities, but it seems that the time has finally come. In two days I will be at the AMICUS congress where we will have a prayer room and united prayer in the main meetings. We have been praying that this congress will bring a revival among the SDA students and we believe that God will do it. We have a good line up of speakers who are passionate about God and mission work. Satan has put many obstacles in our way but we are determined to go forward. He did many miracles and we are so thankful for His love and care for us.

God is also preparing the way for IMPACT Scandinavia (Sweden), an event where I am going at the end of December. I have been praying that God will pull together a prayer team, even though I do not know anybody in the Scandinavian countries. Last week I was impressed to ask a girl from the UK (she is Romanian) who attended ARME UK to come and join my sister and I at IMPACT. She told me that she cannot come because of her business (she owns a health food store). Two days later she wrote back that she bought her ticket and she is coming. Than I found out that another one of my prayer partners from Germany is coming. Isn't God good? I knows that He has great things prepared for us there.

Sometimes I wonder how would my life have looked like had I not known and served the Lord. He is the reason I live and love life. It is because of Him that I am happy. Had it not been for knowing Him, for serving Him, I would be miserable. I just love getting to know Him better, being in His presence, seeing Him showing up for us, changing lives and working in my own life. I was thinking these days that if I were to die, I would die peacefully because I know that I have not lived in vain. 

My "Enoch Time" at the GC Annual Council

If I were to characterize my time spent with the prayer team at the General Conference, I would say it was an "Enoch time". It was such a sacred time that I really do not know how to describe. There were three wonderful weeks spent with the Lord. I simply did not want it to end and I did not want to go back to my mundane activities. I think I now understand Peter who said to the Lord: "Let us make here three tabernacles" (Matt. 17:4) and I have also finally understood in a very practical way what David meant in Ps. 27,4: "One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple."

I have learned so much about Him, about prayer and especially about intercession. And I think that I have understood a little better the great controversy. I understood more of how important it is to pray under the stage, where no one sees and knows what you are doing. I saw more of how beautiful it is just to pray for people you do not even know and watch Him work and intervene in miraculous ways. 

I could tell you a lot of stories about how God miraculously healed my physical sickness right after He healed my heart, how He brought new team members to join us, how He opened doors for us to talk about and lead united prayer in several churches in Maryland, how He opened the way for us to have an all night prayer meeting in a church and made it a blessing for all who came, how He blessed the meetings the the GC and everybody said that they could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, how He brought the leaders to their knees, how He brought to the prayer room people I knew and I have never thought they will come, how He strengthened us even though we woke up around 2:45 every morning, how He opened the door for us to pray in the President's office even though we have never asked for it. He did so many things and answered so many prayers! I have named just a few.

But for me the greatest work is the one that He did on my heart, the things that He revealed to me about Him and about myself. I think I understand better now why Jesus said to the disciples: "Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven." (Luke 10:20)

I will never be the same after this experience. My prayer life would never be the same. I have learned so many things from the people I have prayed with. I have left the GC with quite a few decisions. Some are of a personal nature in regards to my personal prayer life. Others are related to my ministry. One of the things that I decided is that I do not want to go to another event where I am invited to lead a prayer room and have a workshop without a prayer team and without serious prayer behind the stage before and during the event. Actually, this experience convinced me that praying behind the scenes is even more important than praying in the prayer room with people. Another decision was to try to have an all night prayer meeting to the events I am going to. The three all night prayer meetings that I have attended in the last 3 months were so powerful and such a blessing for people, that I decided to try and do it whenever possible.

I have always said that I would love to go back and live in the jungle. But now, I changed my mind. I want to live in His presence, wherever this would be. I think that I have tasted a little more of His goodness, I have caught another glimpse of Him, I have beheld a little more of His beauty and I want to "dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD."

It Is Not About Feelings

Follow your heart! Do whatever your heart tells you to do! 

Live in the moment!

You can do it. Believe that you can and you will succeed! 

Believe in yourself! 
It is your life! Live it! Don't let anybody tell you what to do!

Think positive!

Follow your dreams!

You are valuable! You are worthy!

You are loved!

I am sure that you have all heard these sentences. You have read them. You have used them. This is what you have often been told. 

Time passes by. You follow your heart. You follow your dreams. And your dreams are shattered or prove to be a mere disappointment.You reach where you wanted to and you are not satisfied. You believe that we can do something and you fail. You try to think positive, but you end up miserable and discouraged. You marry the one you love, but a few months or years down the road you sign the divorce papers. No more love left in your hearts. 

Why? Why is it that you follow your heart, but end up miserable and unfulfilled? Why is it that you do what you want to do, and at the end of the day you are empty, you are not satisfied? Why is it that you believe that you can do it and you fail? Why are you getting discouraged even though you try to think positive? Why is the well of love drying up when it seemed so full in the beginning?

Friends, it is not about following our hearts. When we follow our hearts, heartbreak is our portion. It is about following His heart, following His thoughts of peace and not of evil so that we can have a future and a hope. (Jer. 29:11) 

It is not about living in the moment. It is about living while having in mind a greater purpose than enjoying ourselves here and now. It is about living in the light of eternity and preparing for it.  We are not our own. We have been bought with a price and we are waiting for a new heaven and a new earth. (1 Cor. 6:19, 20, 2 Petru 3:13)

It is not about us and what we can do. It is about Him and what He can do through us. Yes, we can do all things, but only through Christ who strengthens us. (Phil. 4:13) We are weak, but His power can be made perfect in our weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9) His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. 

It is not about believing is us, but believing in Him. Believing that He is God and there is nothing too hard for Him. (Jer. 32:27, Job 42:2)

It is not about thinking positive, but about praising Him and being thankful for what He has done and will do for us. (Col 3:15) It is about coming to Him with our petitions and also with our thanks knowing that He is going to give us what is best. (Phil. 4:6)

It is not about living our lives, because this is not our life, but His. He gave it to us to glorify Him. We need to be crucified with Him and allow Him to live in us. (Gal. 2:20)

It is not about our value and worthiness. We have no value. We are not worthy. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) We are weak and we are frail. (2 Cor.12:9) But God made Him sin for us that we may become God's righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21) We are His children, He died for us and this is what gives us value and makes us partakers of His glory. (Romans 8:17) It is His glory and value, not ours.

It is not about our love and promises. It is about His love and promises to us. It is about His love in our heart. We can love Him only because His first loved us. (1 Ioan 4:19) Our love for our fellow men is proportionate to our love for Him. (1 John 4:8)

So, you see, it is not about us and what we can do. It is not about our feelings. Feelings are tricky. It is about a few certainties. We have a deceitful heart. We have no power. We are weak. We have no value. We stumble and fall. We cannot love.

So, it is all about opening wide the doors of our heart and allowing Him to dream for us. It is about surrendering our desires and asking Him take us where He wants us to be. It is about being crucified with Him and allowing Him to live within us. It is about pursuing something much greater than the pleasure of the moment. It is about searching for more than accomplishment, pleasure, titles, honor and glory on this earth. It is about eternity. It is about His love! It is all about Him.

So... 

Follow His heart! Do whatever He tells you to do! 

Live for eternity!

He can do it. Believe that He can and trust Him! 

Believe in Him! 
It is His life! Live it! Let Him tell you what to do!

Give thanks!

Follow His dreams!

He are worthy!

He loves you!

We entered quietly her room. The same room we used to live in until I was four. The same room where I left her when I last visited her a couple of years ago. I was anxious to see her, but also a little nervous as I did not know what to expect. Was she the same? Had she changed? I was told she was not feeling very well, but she has been sick all her life, so sickness was no news.

We entered the room. She hardly lifted her head to look at us, and when she did her puzzled look told me more than I wanted to know. We tried to communicate, but she could not really hear us. And when she spoke, she was stumbling over her words. She tried to remember who we were, but her memory simply did not help her. It was more than I could bear. I wished I could say something, but I was just choking up. I tried desperately to hold back my tears and I was somehow successful.

You see, it does not matter that she is 90 and she lived her life, as some people would say. It does not matter that she lived more than an average person does. It does not matter that she has been sick all her life, that she has been sitting in bed ever since I remember her. It does not matter that in the last 10 years, because of my traveling and hectic schedule, I saw her only once every 2-3 years. She has always been there. She could hear, talk and think. She knew who I was and she always had a smile for me. She is my grandma. And right now she is not the grandma I always knew. Life will surely never be the same.

Oh, heaven could not come soon enough!

When Complaining Is not the Solution

Numbers 11, a chapter where everybody complains. The people of Israel complain about having no meat, cucumbers, leek, melons, garlic, onions. Moses complains that he is alone and that the burden is too heavy for him. So, God gives the people of Israel meat and provides help for Moses - 70 men to share his burden. 

So, while I totally disagreed and was appalled by the people of Israel and their complaints, I felt with Moses and pitied him. I could not be happier with the solution God found for Moses and told myself: ”Wow, he could not have asked for a better one!” Than I read from Patriarchs and Prophets and here is what I found:

”The Lord permitted Moses to choose for himself the most faithful and efficient men to share the responsibility with him... yet serious evils would eventually result from their promotion. They would never have been chosen had Moses manifested faith corresponding to the evidences he had witnessed of God’s power and goodness. But he had magnified his own burdens and services, almost losing sight of the fact that he was only the instrument by which God had wrought. He was not excusable in indulging, in the slightest degree, the spirit of murmuring that was the curse of Israel. Had he relied fully upon God, the Lord would have guided him continually and would have given him strength for every emergency.” PP, 380

So, there are a few things that I was reminded this morning. 

The first one is that when God gives a task, I do not need to tell Him how big the task is and that I cannot accomplish it. He gave it to me and He knows very well what He is doing. I need to trust Him. I need to ask for Divine help in carrying the burden. I do not need to tell God how to solve my problem, I need to allow Him to find the perfect solution. Someone once said: "Don't tell God how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your God is." And it perfectly expresses my thoughts. When I take the time to praise God and claim His promises for wisdom, guidance and power, I gain a whole new perspective and the burden is lighter. It is simply amazing the difference it makes. This is what I have experienced for the past month and I just love seeing how my trust and love for Him deepens when I allow Him to carry my burdens.  

The second one is that what seems the perfect solution for me, it might not be His perfect solution. He is the only one who can see the end from the beginning and He can see the consequences while I don't. I totally agree with Ellen White when she says: "God never leads His children otherwise than they would choose to be led, if they could see the end from the beginning, and discern the glory of the purpose which they are fulfilling as co-workers with Him." DA, 224. 

And the third one is that I should stop complaining about working alone and having no human help. How many times I have done that, only He knows. I always thought that it is His duty to provide help and I kept reminding Him that He sent the disciples two by two, that He also said that two are better than one. But today I finally understood that human help is great to have as long as this is God's first choice, not mine. He told us to plead for workers, and we need to do so, but we need to allow Him to decide if it is better for us to work alone in a certain context or send some help. So, next time I am tempted to complain that the burden is too heavy for me to carry it alone, I will remember to pray for strength and Divine power instead of pleading for human help. And if He thinks that human help is the perfect solution, than praise God! I am sure that He will send it. 

”Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equal to your task.” ~ Phillips Brooks