God's Strange Ways

Be careful what you ask for, cause God might answer in a way you have never thought He would.

I have started to pray some time ago that He will use me where I am now. Three weeks ago I decided to stay at home and spend the Sabbath with the Lord. I took my Bible, diary and the book of Education and I went in the park where I enjoyed my time with my Father. Since I really liked it, the following day I went again in the park in the morning for my appointment with the King. I have fully enjoyed the time there. No one bothered me.

Monday morning I woke up, spent time in prayer and than wanted to pick my Bible to read from it. But my Bible was nowhere to be found. I search my backpack, the bookselves, and all other possible places. No trace of my Bible. I remembered that, on Sabbath I double checked to see if I forgot something on the bench but I could not remember if I did the same thing on Sunday. (Obviously I didn't since my Bible was missing.)

So, Monday morning, before I went to the office, I decided to go and check in the park to see if I can find it. While I was heading that direction, the Lord told me: "Haven't you asked me to use you?" "Yes, Lord, I did! But you know, that is my Bible. I have underlined the important verses, I have the date under those verses that You used to answer my prayers." "I know, but you have asked Me to use you and I did!" So, I turned back and headed to my office.

That evening, when I came back home, I went to the park just in case... But I knew I would not find it. And I didn't.

Fast forward 2 weeks. I got a parcel. A friend of mine sent me a Remnant Study Bible which I have enjoyed a lot for the past few days. Though I miss my Bible, I am happy to know that God gave it to someone who needed it more than I did. And even though I am used to read my Bible in Romanian language, I am learning to appreciate the English translation. "I am sure God has a purpose in this" a friend told me refering to the fact that I need to read the Bible in English.

I can only say: "Surely the Lord knows what He is doing." So I am just enjoying the strange ways He answers prayers.

A Call to Prayer

I had just started to get comfortable - a job, a decent salary, a social life, friends and fun - when God tapped me on the shoulder. I can't remember very well how it all started even though it has been less than a month ago, but I have felt Him tapping on my shoulder harder and harder. And when He taps, one cannot simply ignore Him.

It was enough to see an example of someone who trusts Him and is led by Him, so, I told the Lord: "Lord, I want that!" "You can have it," He told me. It was as if scales fell off my eyes one more time and I understood again that His plans for me are big, bigger than I can imagine. It was as if His sweet soft voice wishpered in my ears: "What you are doing now is only temporarily. It is just a transition. I have bigger plans for you." I didn't argue with Him because I have suddenly started to feel tired of sitting in an office, but I have to admit that I thought in my mind: Bigger? What can be bigger than working for a christian television network and reaching millions of people?

"I have bigger plans for you!"
"Ok, I am fine with that! Just tell me what that is!"
"Tust Me!" that's all He told me.
"Lord, I have to admit that I am so afraid to step again on waters. I have been there for 5 years. I am also afraid that you will take me to places that I do not want to go to and ask me to do what I do not like to do. Just show me what you have for me and I will trust You!"
"Tust Me!" That is all He kept telling me.
And I kept telling Him of my fears until I decided it is of no use to go on and on like that.
"OK, Lord, I give in. I want to trust You, but fear keeps creeping in my heart. You have to take it away!"
It was all He was waiting for.

So, He started to show me a little of those bigger plans. First, He started to work again on my prayer life. Between hours spent on my knees and on prayer calls, listening to powerful sermons and studying the Word, I have realized once again that there are many things He needs to change in me. So, fear has crept in again in my heart. I started bargaining again with God:
"Lord, I want to be changed but I am afaid of the radical changes You might do in my heart."
"Will you trust Me?" was His question.
"Lord, I want to trust You, but You have to understand that I am already odd. I am already different. I already have different values. I already cannot find my place among young people of my age because we do not have too many things in common. I am simply afraid that these changes will make me be even more odd."
"Will you trust Me?" He asked again.
"I want to but I can't! I am afaid!"
So He kept asking for an answer until I gave in again: "Lord, I know I cannot trust You but I want to. Take away my fear!"
That is all He was waiting for. And then, peace and joy flooded my heart.

So, this is what I believe, the beginning of a new chapter of my life. I do not know where He is leading me, I do not know what the future holds. I just know that, for now, I am called to rededicate my life to Him, to stay on my knees and hold on to Him until He blesses me and those I am praying for, and to do my best as translator. I just know that prayer, the exemple of strangers who are men of prayer and the friendship of godly people who are prayer warriors has changed my life and have challenged me to become a woman of prayer. No wonder why I lately felt the need to spend a lot of time alone with the Lord and why I am not looking anymore to my friends and my social life for fulfilment.

So, I believe that I would never be the same again! I know that He is faithful and will finished the work that He has started in me.

In His Presence...

I have to admit that is has been a while since He spoke to me in such a direct manner. But He did it again, as He always does when I need Him to. Not that I wanted an answer from Him, not that I was asking Him to show me the way... I just asked Him to let me know that He is near.

So, He came to meet me, and to give me answers I was not looking for. But I know now that I needed them so much. He was here and I could feel His presence. That is why tears were present. Because, whenever He is there, my eyes cannot be dry. Looking back, I realize that lately I haven't cried because I was heart broken. Every time I cried it was because He met me. His love is simply too wonderful and too amazing and my eyes cannot remain dry.

Anything is a blessing, which makes us pray! (Charles Spurgeon). This is one of the things that He told me Sunday morning. Such a message... for such a time... So, He made me be thankful for my trials. And I really am. I do not feel comfortable in the midst of turbulences, but I am so thankful for them. 'Cause they bring me on my knees.

And I am also thankful for the great people He is using to talk to me and to touch my heart. I was challenged to reevaluate my priorities this week. Oh, how I needed this... Living in the civilized world, being surrounded mostly by people who do not share my values can make me forget what I am living for. That's why He is so nice as to remind me that life is more than being surrounded by friends, feeling good and enjoying my time. And that is why He needs to remind me that I am still a missionary. Listening to Martin Kim sermon: Lord, Teach Us How to Pray is what I needed the most last Sunday morning. Wish my words could express the blessings I have received through it and what has really meant for me. But I guess that only my heart knows the joy and blessings it brought to my soul.

I had great plans for this summer... Taking a trip with my youth group and enjoying my time by the seaside was the highlight of the summer. What is better than being with friends and enjoying your time? Yet, He reminded me that there are better things. That is why He made me give my plans up, so I can do something meaningful. What is that? I am not very sure right now, but I know that it is going to be something great.

I am really excited for what He has in store for me. His plans are simply great.