Omatako and Opuwo - Pictures

I still did not get the time to write a few updates but I posted some pictures hoping that I will soon post a few things about life here. Last weened Nora, an Austrian friend and I went to Opuwo where we visited the Himba land. So, enjoy the pictures!


Omatako

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45183&id=1176913306&l=7bc424a0cb

Opuwo

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45185&id=1176913306&l=ac91103582

Namibia...

Here I am, in the wonderful land of Namibia. I have landed at 7 PM this morning. It’s 9 PM and it seems I have been here for at least 2-3 days. Dan Serb was talking today to Sebastian and I asked him to tell him hi and that I arrived safely. When he told Sebastian: “Raluca arrived safely this morning” I was thinking in my mind: this man doesn’t know when I arrived here. Everything is so familiar and we have gone from here to there the whole day so I have the impression I’ve been here for a few days. Yes, I’ve enjoyed every single minute since I arrived here. Meeting old friends (just a few for now) and being able to face another culture makes me so glad. When we were coming from the airport I was so happy to see again baboons (this time not in the jungle but along the road). I’ll be here in Windhoek until Friday morning when we will take off for Omatako where our camp is. So, I will hopefully be able to be back with news in 3-4 weeks.

Time for a Double Celebration

“My God is great/ When He is four days late/ He’s still on time..” This is what says a song about Lazarus’ death and I Have to admit that it is so true. We’ve all passed through hard times when it seemed that God forgot about us and our problem. We’ve all been there, felt what means to be “forgotten” by God. I’ve been there myself so many times. For the past 6 weeks I’ve been waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Only four weeks ago my visa, along with the visas of 3 other friends, was denied. Plane tickets were canceled, money was lost, and we were confused but not without hope. Though it was not easy to wait, the fact that there were 4 of us in the same “pot” made things easier. At least we could encourage each other. After two weeks, two of my friends got their visas. I was happy for them but I couldn’t help the fear and doubt that invaded my soul. I just couldn’t hold back my tears for a whole morning. Why, Lord? Why do I have to wait? Why me? Do You have something else for me? Do You want me somewhere else? These were the questions pounding in my mind, questions without answers. Though I found it hard to accept that God wants me somewhere else, I just prayed that He will close the door to Namibia if He doesn’t want me there.

At the beginning of this week I told the Lord I just cannot wait any longer and I am willing to wait until the end of the week. If He still doesn’t provide the visa for us, I have to start looking for some other place where I could serve. Wednesday night I called Florin. He had no answer for us… The week was coming to a close and we still didn’t have any answer. Thursday evening I found Sebastian online and I started chatting with him. “Did you hear the news?” he asked me right away. My heart started racing. I knew it was something about the visa but I didn’t know if it’s good or bad news. “You’ve got your visas!” was his answer when I asked him what the news is. I just couldn’t believe my eyes. It seemed too beautiful to be true. I called Florin right away and he confirmed the good news. Though I do not have all the answers to the question: “Why did it take so long?” I have a few. In fact, this is what kept me and what made me hang in there: knowing and finding reasons why God has kept me back. It just “happened” that Sandro and I were the two who were left back (who else could have helped Sandro get his transit visa for Germany?), it also “happened” that two Fridays ago I was just leaving the house to go visit a friend for the weekend when a received a phone call and I was invited to speak at a Mission Festival. Then, there is this friend who, upon hearing we are still in the country, said she wants to send us some money… And, I can still go on like this with small, personal things.

Three days and I will finally be on my way to Namibia. I don’t know what God has in store for me there. I don’t know if I will find more answers to the question: “Why did it take so long?” but at this time I do not care if I do or not… All that matters is that He answered and granted our visas, and we will soon be on our way. I’ll be happy to find more reasons but if I don’t, I’ll just trust Him that He knew what He was doing.

November 10 is the beginning of the Namibian adventure… On November 9, exactly four years ago, I started my first overseas mission trip to Guyana. I had no idea at that time that, instead of spending 6 months in the mission field, I will choose to do this for as long as God needs me. I can’t believe that it is four years since my life is not the same, four years since I started to learn to love a simple life, since I found new dimensions of life, of the love for people, of the trust in God. And I know this is just the beginning.

I’m so happy God chose to celebrate with me the four years that passed since I fist left for the mission field by giving me the desire of my heart: the Namibia visa. So, it’s time for a double celebration.

Back Home, For a While...

Life is full of surprises sometimes and God allows all kind of situations in our lives... As you know, I left for Cluj a week ago, then Budapest where I was supposed to take the plane for Namibia. On Tuesday we were told our visas are approved but not issued and that we should go ahead and go to Budapest because they will be issued. And so we did. We left Tuesday night and reached Budapest Wednesday morning. We waited in the airport continually checking our email and hoping that the visas will be there... The check in time came and we didn't have our visas. So we had to come back home. :D Not only that our visas were not issued but they were refused. The authorities asked for some more certificates from Pilgim Relief Society. Thank God we could change the plane ticket and postpone our departure for October 20. There are 4 of us in this situation.

So, here we are, still waiting and hoping that God will perform a miracle for us. Even though I do not want to ask God why, the question is there. Is God allowing this just to teach me some lessons and to teach me to trust Him or is He showing me that He wants me somewhere else? Or is this Satan trying to discourage me? I know for sure God allowed this with a purpose, but I can't see it right now so I keep asking myself why. Hope I will find some answers soon since the silence and darkness are becoming heavier with each passing day.

Namibia, Here I Come!

Who thought just 2 weeks ago that in a couple of weeks I will be on my way to the African land? We were supposed to leave on the 14th of September. Great was the disappointment when we were told that due to the financial crises there is no money for our tickets. But we were promised that we will be leaving on the 4th of October. Two weeks before the departure date I received again the terrible new: no money so, departure is postponed again. It's no use to tell you that the disappointment was even greater. While talking to Sebastian on the phone, he told me we could come if we can pay for our plane tickets. He also asked me to let him know when we get the money so he can apply for our visas. Did I have the money? No, I had just part of the amount but I told Sebastian to apply for the visa. I knew that, if God called me there, He will provide the whole amount of money. So I just went ahead through faith. And the Lord was faithful. He blessed my faith and made it possible for me to buy the plane ticket. So, in just 5 days I will be on my way to the Namibian land along with 5 other friends.


I know that this is just the beginning of a new journey, a journey of faith, a journey of grace. I know God will work and I am looking forward to it. Right now, I am looking forward to see how He will take care of my financial needs. You see, when I bought the plane ticket, I was left with empty pockets. But I know that my God who provided the money for the ticket, will not let me go without any money to Namibia. So, I'm looking forward to seeing Him more at work in my life. I was talking to one of my friends from Namibia the other day and he was telling me that there are great things going on there. God is really working! And this is what makes me so happy!!!

Letting It Go....

To let go... one of those painful character building experiences we never want to experience. But we all pass through here and we all have to let go certain things or people from our lives sooner or later. 

I asked myself why is the process of letting go so painful. And here is the answer I came up with. 

When we have something or somebody in our lives, things or people that we cherish, that are so important to us, they make us feel secure. They give us a reason of living and being, a reson to smile and laugh, to look forward to the future. We may feel that with them we can go through everything in life because we know God brought them there. Once they disappear, once God considers He has to take them back or allows Satan to take them, we lose the security, the identity, the reason to smile and look forward to the future. 

I have wondered over and over if it is wrong to find our security and identity in things or people. Is God asking us to find those things just in Him? Are we to go ahead in life without having something tangible that will give us a reason to live and laugh and enjoy life? Are we supposed not to get attached to things and people and to live an austere life? What's then the purpose of everything God sends us?

I see our identity, our reason of being and living, our sercurity like a tree. A tree with deep roots, with trunk and branches and leafs and flowers. I think that the root belongs to God. The root is the identity, security and reason of living that we find in Him and Him alone. And I also see the trunk and branches as the tangible things, the people He sends in our lives to give us an identity and security, a reason to live and enjoy life. Sometimes, God considers that the tree needs some adjustments, some more shaping. So He cuts a brench here and there. Sometimes the shaping process needs cuting the whole trunk. But if the root is well anchored in Him, if the tree finds the source of life in Him, then the root will feed the tree and a new trunk and new branches will grow again. Finding our identity and security in things or people is not wrong as long as we have our root in God. Because it is Him who gives us things and people, sometimes for a longer period of time, sometimes for just a while, so we may enjoy life, so we may have the power to smile and be glad.

I realised that a lot of times what brings the most pain is not losing the thing or the person in itself. Sometimes it is more painful to loose the security and the identity that came along with that thing or person. It's normal to get used in time to not having the presence of those things and people in our lives, but we certainly cannot get used to having the emptiness, the insecurity and the lack of identity that their disappearance brings.

Though it is hard to lose both things and people, I must admit that losing the latter is much harder. It takes a lot of courage and real love to be able to let them go. It takes real love for them and real love for God. Would we risk to ask God to give them back to us at any price, at the price of their happiness and their salvation? Have you ever prayed for somebody that God will not give them to you but do what is the best for them? As young people when we admire somebody, can we pray that God will give them the person that will make them happy, that will help them shape their character and be saved? Can we say "Your will be done" when it comes about being with someone we cherish? If we can, than we should know that this is true love. Yes, sometimes love means to be able to let him/her go because their happiness and salvation is more important to us than having them... Because true love is unselfish. We may understand or we may not understand why God brought them for just a period of time in our lives. But we should know that He surely had a purpose and we should be thankful if they helped us be better persons, if their presence brought a smile on our faces and made us feel secure.

So I thank God for teaching me to let go of things, to let go of people. And also for teaching me to be happy that I had them even for just a while. He surely knows what He is doing. And I'm sure it's for my best.

Some of you may think I'm talking from books. Let me tell you that I'm not.

Freedom

Have you ever found yourself wanting to be free from your desires? I'm not talking about bad and sinful desires. It's all about good and legitimate desires. I do find myself sometimes in that position. There are good things that I deeply cherish and I surely would like to have them. But sometimes, instead of asking them from the Lord, I'm just asking Him to take away the desire to have them. Maybe it's because sometimes I become their slave and I tend to live in the future and forget to enjoy what I already have... Maybe it's because I am afraid I will never have them. Or maybe it's because I've prayed for some of them for such a long time and I didn't find any answer... Don't get me wrong. I'm not tired of praying for them. It's just that I want to be free, to be able to always enjoy life just as it is. I've always been a dreamer and I always liked to live in the future. Thank God He started to teach some time ago me to live and enjoy the present (it all happened while working in the jungle). So I'm still learning to live with my desires in the present... I guess that when I learned that lesson I can say I am trully free. Will I ever learn it?

It seems we finally have a date for our departure for the African land. October 4 is the day when we are supposed to take off for the Kalahari Desert. Though there is dissapointment in my heart because I was hoping we would leave earlier, I am also at peace because I know this delay has a purpose and it is for my best. I miss working for those helpless people. I find myself more and more not finding my place here... Home is one of those words I can't really say I know the meaning. It's good to be with my family but I long to be there where I find a reason for my existence, where what I do gives me a sens and a reason of being and living. So, right now I am learning to live with the desire of being there and enjoy the life I have right now.