Faces of Love: Love is Unconditional

I know... it has been a very looong while since I made time to post something in here. I had not disappeared. I am still around. But as you can guess, I have been busy... Though I am still busy, I am planning on writing more often.

I have been learning a lot of things in the past few months. God has been teaching me a lot of things through my relationship and my awesome boyfriend. So I am planning on starting a series of posts called Faces of Love to share with you some of the lessons I have learnt in the past 7 months.

I have to admit that I had never thought that I can feel so accepted. Accepted even when I am not at my best. Accepted even when I am wrong and do mistakes. Accepted without sermonizing. Without any 'but' or 'if'. Not even one. Accepted with of my flaws and weaknesses. Accepted without any conditions. Just accepted. Loved. Embraced. For who I am.

I think I have started to understand a little bit more of God's love for me. I do not know why He chooses to love me, but I know that He does. Realizing that my imperfection does not make Him walk away is one of those mind-blowing experiences. And seeing the same attitude in Roman, seeing that nothing can scare him away, nothing makes him love and accept me less, has only taught me more about my Father's love. 

Thank you, my dearest Roman, for loving me with His love. Fully. Unconditionally. And thank you for showing me a little bit of God's love.

  

Blessed. I Am Blessed.

I am blessed and life has never been more wonderful. I turned 32 just a few days ago and I cannot be more thankful for this period of my life. I know that there are people who are looking behind wishing they were children again. Even though I had a happy childhood, I still believe that life is getting better and better and I would not exchange the life that I am living right now for any other period of my life. So, since I just had my birthday, I thought that I would like to write a little about God's blessings in my life.

The last year has been an amazing journey. Actually I think that the word "amazing" does not do it justice. I think that I can officially declare it the best year of my life and here is why...

I thank God for restoring my father's health. It is amazing to see that, even though last year the doctor said that he might need a heart transplant, this year his heart is functioning normally. It has been really good to have mom and dad around for the past three months and live in the same place. I know that I will miss them as our ways are parting again.

I am thankful for a nice and nephew that are full of life and that bring so much more color and sweetness to life.

I am also thankful for having my little sister around. Now, that she will be off to Norway for a year, I know that I will miss her. But, even though I know that life will be different without her around, I am thankful that she can get more training for God's cause.

One other thing that I am very thankful for is the prayer ministry that turned my life around and made life so much more sweeter. I have done a lot of traveling in the past year (twice to the States, three times to Germany, Austria, Sweden, Portugal, Italy), a lot of speaking and leading prayer. I have seen many lives changed. I have made many wonderful friends and met many precious people that have been such a blessing to me. I simply cannot see my life without the prayer ministry. It brought so much more meaning to life.

And than, there is this blessing:

He came in my life when I least expected it, when I was content with my singleness. He heard about me from a mutual friend who told him that my prayer ministry changed her life and that I will be attending the same event he was going to. He came to the prayer meetings almost every morning. Than he saw that I am going to present a workshop. He came to my workshop, but I do not remember to have seen him there. The workshop was a blessing for him. Since he is a thinker, he wanted to share with me some thoughts on prayer. I was really impressed (he says that I did not seem impressed at all). I am used to people coming to me for counseling and advice. But here was a guy who just wanted to share some deeper truths about prayer. And he has not stopped to share his thoughts with me ever since. 

The past three months have been full of happiness and smiles. We have been learning and growing a lot together. All I can say it is that he was worth waiting for. If I were to live my life again, I would not have it any other way. It is simply amazing to see how everything fits in and how wonderful it can be when God writes your love story. For me it was amazing to discover that God still has young men out there who put God first, who try to honor God through everything they say and do. I am so happy to court such a godly young man who is helping me so much to keep my eyes on Jesus.

One year ago I prayed a prayer: "Lord, give me Germany or I die." Who would have ever thought that God will choose to answer this prayer by giving my a German boyfriend? Believe me, having a German boyfriend was not part of my deal with God. This is not what I prayed for. Actually, just a few months before I went to Youth in Mission, I told one of my best friends that I could court a Portuguese, but never a German. Never say never, because sometimes God chooses to answer prayers in ways that never crossed your mind. My friendship with Roman is a proof of that.

I hope to be able to write down our amazing courtship story some day, but until then, I just wanted to let you know that God is amazing and He works in amazing ways. He exceeds our expectations and does exceedingly abundantly above all that we think or ask when we choose to put Him first.

Liberated Through Submission

I have had the book Liberated Through Submission by P.B.Wilson on my shelf for quite a long time. I have finally decided to take it and read it a couple of weeks ago. And since the book was a blessing to me and she shared some very deep and revolutionary things, I decided to share a few ideas and quotes. So I most likely share more of her words since I find them so powerful and inspiring. 

"Submission is for all" says Bunny Wilson. It is for men and women all together. "When we defy people in authority, we are really saying that the situation cannot be solved unless we take action. We are, in fact, playing God... It takes a child-like faith to believe that God can handle any person, debate or circumstances. When we choose to submit, we can easily see why God says that unless we become as little children we cannot enter the kingdom of God... We can believe that God can heal someone of cancer, free someone of a drug addiction, or place a child in a barren womb. But do we have faith to believe that God can speak to another person's heart and tell him what to do? Do we believe that God can make the best of a situation, even when an authority figure blindly opposes God's directions?"

"Submission without faith is slavery. Submission with faith is power. It takes faith to believe that God is correcting a relationship, situation or circumstance when all outward signs show the opposite. "For we walk by faith, not by sight." (2 Cor. 5:7)"

"Woman was created to be a man's helpmate. That means she should be an integral part of her husband's life, enabling him to fully develop into the kind of man God wants him to be. This automatically makes her the kind of woman God wants her to be. Even in our fallen state, that plan remains intact. However, without some specific guidelines - husbands lead, wives submit - our sinful nature will cause us to make adjustments to God's sovereign plan. The result is the same as from the beginning: self-destruction."'

"God has given men some very specific leadership assignments which, when accomplished, glorify His kingdom. But it takes a man surrendered to God's Word to carry out God's orders."

"Many men greatly oppose the statement that they don't want to lead. They immediately cite their roles of the leadership at work, in sports and in many other areas. There are a few men who will admit that they are under God's leadership and even fewer who act that leadership out in the home. Why? Based on Adam's decision in the garden, a man does not want to govern his wife or home. His rebellion in this area is often justified and overshadowed by his outstanding achievements in other areas."

"1 Peter 3:7... All that wives are called to do is to submit to their husbands. Meanwhile, their husbands are expected to yield to God's plan by being the head of the house, by loving their wives, by being the spiritual leader in the home and by living with a wife in an understanding way."

"Being the head of a woman can require bulldog tenacity, along with gentle love and understanding. A man has to be humble enough to listen to the opinions of his wife, yet strong enough to go in the direction he feels God is leading him."

"Christian marriages start off on the right foot when the wife comes into marriage with the understanding of God's pattern for marital submission and intends to operate according to His established order. However, if she doesn't, it is the husband's responsibility to exemplify submission to her....The husband must examine and accept submission to God's word, to his pastor, to his employer and to the authorities in the land."

"Husbands should ask themselves one very relevant question: "If your wife were a required subject at a local university, would you pass the course?" Many man refuse to submit to God's Word and invest time in getting to know their wives. Even fewer men know how to communicate with them."

"Why is submission so dangerous to Satan? Why is it so powerful? Because we exercise it in blind faith, and faith defeats him every time. When we go against our feelings, thoughts and opinions (i.e., our Lord, God's Word, our husband, pastor or employer), and when we turn the results over to God, we step out in faith. We are making a statement that we believe God knows every details of our circumstances and that He cares. We are avowing that He is a just God, and that by being obedient to His will, we enable Him to handle all obstacles. Now that is faith! Does biblical submission mean that we do not express how we feel? No, it means we do. It means when there is a difference of opinion with someone in authority, we share how we feel with due respect and love. Than, if the other person continues to disagree, we turn the whole issue over to God in faith. Submission gives God space to show us who is right."

"We may sometimes ask: "What if the people I submit to make mistakes? I am the one who is going to suffer the consequences of their actions." The answer to that is once again, faith."

"As a matter of fact, God's spiritual vision for us can be summed up in one word: faith. It takes faith to see our husbands as they can be and not as they are. It takes faith to submit when we think they are wrong. It takes faith to wait for God to show us which one of us is right while having no murmurings or grumblings between us. It takes faith to believe that God can give our husbands the wisdom they need to make decisions that affect us and our children."

Well, there are many more interesting and deep things in the book. I highly recommend it, not only for the married couples or for those considering marriage, but for the singles, as well. 

Youth in Mission - You Shall Receive Power

"1.700 of young people?  I do not think that I will be able to enjoy it like I did last year! There will be too many people. I'd rather go to smaller conferences! They are more powerful!" This is what went through my head just before Youth in Mission started. As you can imagine, I was a little skeptical even though I prayed and fasted for this youth conference. But God was ready to show me one more time that He can work in a powerful way with many people as well as with small groups of people!

The first surprise was Friday morning. Last year we had a good number of people joining us in the mornings for the 6 AM prayer meetings. I think that the most people we had were 87, and this was the last morning. But Friday morning we had at least 105 people in the room where I was. I say in the room where I was because I found out that many people went to the prayer room, not knowing that the morning prayer session was in a different place. My friend and prayer partner Sophie went there as well. She waited for me to come and when she saw that I did not show up, she lead the group in united prayer. She told me that the room was full. So, because we realized that the room was too small, we had to change it for the next morning. And praise God that we did, because we had over 205 people who came to pray with us on Sabbath morning. Sunday morning, even though we lost an hour because of the daylight saving, a good number of people joined us. And the same thing happened on Monday morning.

A few months prior to the conference, I thought that it might be good to offer the possibility to those who want to be able to lead out united prayer in the prayer room. So I asked the organizing team to include united prayer facilitator on the list of volunteers positions. 16 people registered. When we met to talk, pray and make plans on Friday morning, instead of 16, there were 20 people. Some of them decided to come and help even though they did not sign up to help in the prayer room. So, needless to say, this year I did not have to spend time in prayer room since there were so many young people eager to help out! And I could not be happier because more prayer leaders are formed in Europe! 

Even though there was so much interest in prayer, I still did not know how many I should expect for prayer during outreach. Last year there were around 40 people who prayed with us. This year the room was too small, as more than 85 people came to intercede for those who went out on the streets. Some people had to turn back as there was not more space in the prayer room.

Let me remind you that we are talking about Germany, the most difficult country I have worked in so far! I am talking about a country where most people are not used to pray out loud. Thank God that He has His people here, as well.

I am still marveling at what He did and how far He has taken united prayer in a little over one year. It was such a joy to have people come to me and tell me that they took united prayer back to their churches from Germany, Austria, Holland, Switzerland, Czech Republic and that it has been such a great blessing for them.

I was wondering before I came to the conference if I should attempt and have an all night prayer meeting. But I put aside the thought. The conference is too big. We are speaking about Germans here. Who will want to join a prayer meeting? I will be too busy with two workshops, a prayer room and a booth to take care of. I will not get too much sleep. So, with this in mind, I decided not to ask permission for that. But after my workshop, I was talking with one of the attendees about prayer when this person asked me to tell him about the all night prayer meeting. And, while telling him about it, David, one of my prayer partners came and asked: "So, are we going to have an all night prayer meeting?" So, I finally got it. God has been trying to nudge me before, but I ignored Him. I went and asked if we can have an all night prayer meeting. We ended up getting permission for pray until 1 AM, because of security reasons. We had a beautiful prayer time. I will never forget two young men who came and asked for prayer as they decided to get baptized and give one year of their life to Jesus.

Having Jerry and Janet Page as main speakers was a real treat! I simply love working with them! And they were a huge help in promoting the morning prayer times and prayer room. God used them to inspire the young people to pray more.

It was at Youth in Mission that I could see one more time how real the Great Controversy is. I was peacefully listening to the evening presentation Sabbath evening, when Wendy came and asked me to come out. She proceeded to tell me why she called me and another few people outside. A little bit earlier that evening, Edy, one of the attendees got a text message from a friend. It was a desperate text message about Clara*, this girl's sister, who was on a bridge trying to commit suicide. She asked Edy to try and do something. So he talked to Clara for more than 15 minutes, but could not change her mind. When he went back inside, the person sitting next to him saw that something was wrong. He asked Edy who told him the story. So, to make a long story short, he went to Wendy, Wendy got me and my sister and we went out on a hallway and started praying. I have to admit that I do not think that I have prayed with such intensity before. Knowing that the girl was on the bridge at that very moment and that our prayers can save her life, that she needs someone to stand in the gap for her made us pray like we have never done it before. At the end of the prayer session, when Edy checked his phone, he found a message telling him that Clara's sister was finally able to take her from the bridge. But you know what is the most amazing thing for me? Clara's sister was supposed to be at YiM, but she decided not to come the day before the congress. I know now that God stopped her because He needed her to be there so she can save her sister's life. Neither Clara nor her sister are Adventists, but praise God that He is no respecter of persons and He leads even those who do not know Him.

One could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit during the Conference! Oh, how I loved seeing Him at work! God showed me that He can also work powerfully during a big conference of 1.700 attendees. 

It was at Youth in Mission that I got the idea of starting a European Network of Prayer Warriors. Since I am traveling so much and meeting so many people who love to work for God, who are involved in His work and who love to pray, why not connect them so we can intercede for one another and for the work in Europe? We have 34 people from 15 countries in the group so far! And the number is growing as more and more people are requesting to join the group! So, if you are passionate about prayer and are interested in joining us, leave me a comment and your email address or contact me through the Contact form. 

I am eagerly waiting for next year's Youth in Mission Congress. And I am also looking forward to ARME Germany. So many young people told me that they are looking forward to it, too. God has started a work in Germany and I simply cannot imagine how much more He is going to do in the future. Little did I realize when I prayed last year: "Give me Germany or I die!" how far He will take this prayer and how much He will do. He has exceeded every expectation... And I know that He is going to do much greater things than what I have seen so far!



*Clara's name has been change in order to protect the identity of the individual.

Can He Trust Me That Much?

I have been asking myself lately: 

How much can He trust me?

Can He trust me enough to pour out His blessings upon me knowing that I will not keep them for myself, but pass them on to others?

Can He trust me enough as to send me trials and obstacles knowing that I will not complain, but face them with a joyful heart since „our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory...” (2 Cor. 4:17)

Can He trust me to give me the spirit of earnest prayer knowing that I will stand in the gap for others and I will be the intercessor that they need?

Can He trust me that much as to allow me to serve and represent Him to other people?

Can He trust me to use me to change lives knowing that I will not take the glory to myself, that I will not become proud, but I will remain humble and give all the glory and honor to Him?

Can He trust me to allow me to be single, knowing that I will not complain about it, 
but use my singleness for His glory?

Or can He trust me that much as to give me a relationship knowing that I will put Him and not the other person on the first place in my life, that I will help him grow and become more like Him?

So, how much can He trust me? 

I know that He is willing and waiting to pour out His blessings on me. He wants to use me. He has prepared for me things that “eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man”. 
(1 Cor. 2:9) 

But really, can He trust me that much?

I know that He cannot trust me. He has no reason to. 
But I also know that He can trust His Son, Jesus. 
And as long as I abide in Him and His words abide in me, 

He is going to trust me, too.

His Purpose For Marriage

I read the title of the book and I think that I forgot to breath for a second: Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy. I could not believe my eyes that someone finally wrote a book and expressed my own thoughts. 

So many people think that marriage is a purpose, a destination. That marriage is a plateau where one needs to arrive in order to be happy and fulfilled. Marriage for many equals eternal happiness and bliss. It is the place where our needs are fulfilled. No wonder there are so many marriages falling apart. And while there is happiness in marriage and the needs are fulfilled, this is not the whole purpose of it.  

For me marriage is a mean. A tool God uses to shape the character, to make us more like Him, to restore His image in us. A tool that He uses to make us better persons, better witnesses, more effective workers for God. A mean that He uses to teach us about grace, love, forgiveness, mercy, compassion, faithfulness. So marriage is not a destination. It is only a mean through which God accomplishes His purpose in and through us and prepares us for the life to come. 

So, what if my character can be better shaped by being single? What if I can serve Him better if I am not married? What if I can learn better what means grace and love and forgiveness? What if I can be a better witness? What if He allows me to be single in order to save me and and use me to save others?

I know what you are thinking. It is more likely that He can teach me these things by being married. I know. And I agree with you. It is more likely. And I would rather have Him do it this way. 

And still, what if?

Than let me be single.

Did I just hear a hearty AMEN? 

I think I did!

GYC Portugal 2013 - Until the End

The more I travel and meet wonderful people, the more I see the pieces of the big puzzle coming together. And I simply love it! Knowing that not even one person God places in my life is there by chance and seeing how God uses each one of them to teach me more about Him, His love and His grace is enough to make me feel blessed beyond measure.

I eagerly waited for the moment to board the plane and be back in the country with warm and wonderful people (read about it here), to meet old friends and make new ones, to see the divine appointments He had for me there, to see how He changes lives and brings hope. Portugal is not a strange place for me. Their hospitality and warmth made me feel at home right away. Actually, I somehow feel part of GYC Portugal. I was there from the beginning, from their first conference and we share many memories. 

Honored to be singing with some wonderful people

I knew God has special plans for Portugal because I have seen Him at work even before I went there. I decided to try and get together a prayer team. So I prayed and approached a couple of ladies I met last year who left a deep impression on my heart and who were really committed to the Lord. Debora's answer really warmed my heart and made me see more clearly that God is in control and has a plan:

Dear Raluca,

My heart is so filled with joy and gratefulness today, I can't even explain it, words are not enough to describe what God has done for me and in me today. Praise the Lord! God chose this day to answer my prayers, and your proposition to be part of the prayer room is one of them :') I can't even hold back my tears dear Raluca. God is so good! My answer is: yes, yes and yes! I need God to work me in me and my character and I want to serve Him in anyway He asks me too. I think He just asked me through you to be part of this, so He can transform me as I serve Him. Your invitation was an incredible answer to my prayers of this last weeks.

What is Debora's story? A few days before I sent her the invitation to help in the prayer room, she had asked God to use her to reach out to others. First God placed her in a group of Christian young people from her university to study the Bible and pray with them. Than He sent her my invitation. Her answer to my invitation left me speechless and flooded my heart with joy. Needless to say, God put together a wonderful prayer team and I was blessed to have each one of them help with leading united prayer.

Last appeal made by pastor Jay Rosario

GYC Portugal was blessed with powerful speakers who challenged the young people to give their life to the Lord and serve Him. We were thrilled when 35 people decided for baptism after Jan Cabungcal's appeal. And almost everybody went upfront at the dedication service when Jay Rosario challenged us to be like the four lepers who could not be quiet, but had to share the good news with others. I know that many young people made some life changing decisions for Christ at this GYC. The many emails and FB messages I get are only confirming this. I happen to know just some of these people, but I know many more lives were changed. Just to give you an example, I heard that a young man decided to break off his engagement to a non-Adventist lady because God spoke to his heart. I am convinced more than ever that this is what we need: speakers to challenge the young people to make decisions for Him.

The morning united prayer sessions were a huge blessing for the many attendees who decided to join us every morning for prayer. Seeing (actually hearing) people pour out their hearts to God and seeking Him with all their hearts will always be one of my favorite things to do. 

United prayer session in the morning

Seeing people hungry and thirsty for God is what floods my heart with joy. Here are only some examples. 

GYC started on Friday evening. Since the next day was Sabbath, the united meeting prayer room was not open until after lunch. So I was very puzzled when I received a note Sabbath morning during Sabbath School and was asked to go to the prayer room. I did not want to leave the Sabbath School, but I decided to go and see what is going on only to find people in tears in need of prayer. 

Than there was this couple who pulled me out of a meeting because they wanted to start praying together and wanted some practical advice. 

I was thrilled when, upon coming back home I got a FB message from a stranger. An evangelist from Brazil who listened to the radio transmission of GYC Portugal and heard me promoting the united prayer sessions. Since the workshop was not streamed, He wanted to know how to pray with His church. 

GYC Portugal made me see again that there are so many people in need of Him, so many looking for healing. I remember that, as I was standing and talking in my workshop I spotted a young lady and I felt impressed to go and talk to her after the workshop. I did not know why. I did not know what to talk to her about. I just knew that the Holy Spirit is prompting me to go and talk to her. At the end, by the time I finished talking to other people who came to see me, she was gone. What to do now? Well, this is His work and He was the one who impressed on my heart to go and talk to her, so I asked the Lord to bring her in my way. Not long after that, as I was in the hallway going to a workshop, I met her. So I stopped and talked to her. At the end of our long conversation I had no doubt that it was the Holy Spirit who prompted me to talk to her. It was just one of the many divine appointments He had for me there. Who cared that I missed the workshop (btw, I missed all the other workshops because God kept bringing to me people who wanted to talk to me) when I knew God used me to bring hope to someone?

It is such a blessing to know that God uses united prayer and the workshop to bring answers to people. One of the young ladies I talked to after my workshop told me that a few weeks ago she had asked the Lord to teach her to pray. The following week she was asked by the leaders of a interdenominational group of students from her university to be the prayer leader. Now she was confused. She asked the Lord to teach her to pray and He is sending her an invitation to lead prayer? How could that be His answer? But His answer came a couple of weeks later. She came to GYC and attended the United Prayer workshop. And this is exactly what she needed.

Another divine appointment God had for me there was with a young lady that has been emotionally and physically abused by her father for more than 30 years. Sandra* has been hoping and praying for many years that God will place in her life people to help her start a new and normal life. She wanted to leave the home many times, but her salary did not allow her to have a decent life. She sought for help to some pastors, but it seems that no one dared to pull her out of the lion's mouth.  After a while, she gave up hope. She was drained emotionally, sick and exhausted. She stopped fighting. I have to admit that I was wondering how in the world was she still sane. My heart was so heavy as I listened to her telling me some of the horrible abuses she had to endure. Listening to her it was like listening to horror stories from another world. We talked and prayed together. As I was praying and begging God to do something for her the next morning, the name of a pastor came to my mind. Later on God just confirmed that this was from Him when my translator and another speaker told me that we need to talk to this pastor. And when I talked to Sandra, she confessed that she had been wondering if she should talk to him, as well. God is still working to set her free from this abusive home, but it seems that someone found a job for her and the pastor is determined to do anything he can to help her have a fresh new start. Praise God for pastors who care for people more than for their own life and safety!

Last prayer after the dedication service

You see, all these divine appointments make worth all the struggle of the endless hours spent in front of the computer trying to finish my workload for Hope Channel. This is what keeps me going. This is what makes me feel that I am alive, that my life is worth living for Him. It is Him shining through me that makes the difference. 

Speakers of GYC Portugal 2013 

We had a full house on Sabbath

I left Portugal so thankful for all the wonderful people God brought me in contact with, for all those who went home determined to start a new life, for those who expressed their desire to start a prayer group back home. This is what makes me determined to pour my life into His service more than ever. There is one thing that I desire more than anything else: that He will continue to shine through me and that people will see Him in me. I have to admit that I have never done so much one-to-one counseling before, but I immensely enjoyed it. Even though the pain of the people seems to crush me at times, I am thankful because it drives me to my knees. My prayer list gets bigger and bigger with each place I go to, but I can't complain. It is an honor to intercede on behalf of my brothers and sisters. I may never know the answer to my prayers in this life, but I a looking forward to seeing them in the life to come. What a day that will be! 

*Sandra's name has been changed in order to protect the identity of the individual. 

Wounded Healer

I packed reluctantly. Than I boarded a plane that I did not want to board. I simply did not want to go, but a promise is a promise. What could I offer to people when my soul was so dry? How could I be a channel for healing when I was wounded? How could I speak to them of the joy of salvation, about His peace when I did not have either one of them? How could I talk to people about surrender when there was something that I found so hard to give up to? I had nothing to offer. I was wounded and hurting. I was afraid that He will not pour out His blessings because my heart was not ready to be a channel of His love, because there was something that I found hard to surrender that kept the wound open and did not allow it to heal.

But I went. I met people. I talked to them. I prayed with them. I listen to their stories. I had my workshop. It was the first time I had a workshop all by myself. And while pouring my life into serving others I totally forgot about my wound. At the end of the 5 days it was all gone. Not even the smallest scar left. It was as if I had never had it. There were always people in the prayer room. The workshop was packed. People kept telling me that they were blessed. I was overwhelmed. They had no clue that I was the one who experienced the greatest blessing. They had no clue that I was a wounded healer. It was than that I understood more of what Paul meant when he said that God's power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)

I am gladly packing right now. I am about to board a plane I have been waiting to board for a long time. The same destination, but one year later. This time I am bursting with excitement because I know Him more and I trust more His power. I have seen more of what He can do in spite of my weakness. I have learned more that it is not about me. It is not about what I can do. It is all about Him and what He can do through me. It is not about being worthy, but being willing. It is all about learning to walk with Him and constantly growing. Growing while serving. It is through service that I find solutions to my own struggles and I know that He is about to heal more of my wounds.

Yes, it is all about being a wounded healer. This is what I am. And I will be. Until He comes.

Heaven Cannot Come Soon Enough

It was only yesterday that I prayed for her as I was going through my prayer list and I came to Matteson Mission School. Today, as I came to the same place, I know that prayers for her are of no use. I can only pray for her friends and loved ones who mourn her loss. 

It was only yesterday that I was looking forward to meeting her and singing with her in a month and a half when I will be going to Germany to teach Josia Missionsschule and Matteson Mission School's students. Today, I have one more reason to look forward to heaven to meet her and sing with her . I can only pray that I will be there to keep my promise. 

I met her a little over a month ago in Sweden at IMPACT Scandinavia. I don't think that we talked for more than 30 minutes. Time is always an issue at such conferences. But those few minutes that we talked have left a deep impression on my heart. It was enough to make me realize what a special person she is and make me want to meet her again and get to know her more. It was enough to make me see that she loved God and people.

She served God. She loved people. She loved music. And she touched lives. I have no doubt about that because she touched mine in the few minutes we spent together. This is how I will always remember Vivian. I do not think that there are better things to be remembered for. 

As I sit here and ponder over the fragility of life I cannot help but wonder, if I were to die tomorrow, what will I be remembered for?

Today I have one more reason to look forward to heaven. Oh, heaven cannot come soon enough! Even so, come Lord Jesus! 

It Is Better to Give Than to Receive

It's been a while since I promised myself to try and blog more about what He has been teaching me, but as you see, I did not find the time to do it. So I am thankful for Friday nights when I can spend time with the Lord and try to write down some of his blessings.

One of the things God keept showing me it is that it is better to give than toreceive. A little more than a month ago He reminded me again that He can do much more than I think if I give Him everything I have. It was a month and a half ago that I was talking to a friend. I was telling her how excited I was that I saw her on the list of the attendees of IMPACT Scandinavia (Sweden, December 2012). She told me that she registered, but she cannot come. She did not have the money. "I will pray that God will provide the money for the trip!" was my answer. But as soon as I said it, God reminded me: "Raluca, you have money in your bank account."

You see, two months prior to that, I went to a congress. They could not pay for the plane ticket so someone offered to pay for it. A month after I came back home, the leadership decided that they had the money to pay for my plane ticket, so they sent me the money. This is why I had money in my bank account, but I was planning on saving it for the next time when people could not pay for my trip. 

"Raluca, you have money in your bank account." 
"But, Lord, what if someone cannot pay for my trip?"
"Don't you think that I can take care of that when the time comes? Remember how I paid your way to Portugal, to Germany, to the US?"
"Yes, Lord, I remember."

So, I gave in. I went online, searched for a plane ticket and bought it. The amount of money needed was exactly what I had in the bank account. 

Two weeks later I was in Sweden. One evening, I checked my email before going to my room for the night. I was surprised to see an email from someone I respect. Both he and his wife have been a huge inspiration to me. I had volunteered and helped them with some projects because I was passionate about those things. I was really shocked when I read "We all appreciate so very much all you have done this year to help with "such and such projects"!  We want to send you a very small love gift for all your hard work..." It had never crossed my mind that I could ever be paid for my work. I did it simply because I loved it. And the amazing thing is that the amount of money that they sent me was double the amount of money I paid for my friend's plane ticket. Tell me that God is not amazing! 

Well God, You won again... You showed me again that you can do exceedingly abundantly above all I can think or ask. I just pray that next time I will not hesitate to share the blessings You have given me.