It's Official... I'm Leaving on the 9th of February!!!

I just cannot believe it... Just 6 days ago I was not sure as to where I will be heading and what I will be doing. Today not only that I have an answer, but I also have the plane tickets and less than two weeks to get ready for a long, long journey. I'm speechless and overwhelmed. God is so good...

So, as I already posted, on Thursday I decided to go to Vanuatu Islands. That was all I knew. I didn't have the money for my ticket and other expenses, I didn't know exactly where I will be working, if I will be working alone or with someone else, if I will be traveling alone or with somebody else.

Just yesterday I found out that somebody else is leaving for Vanuatu on the 9th of February. That meant in two weeks. So just two weeks to get ready and 2-3 days to buy the ticket with the money that I didn't have... It seemed pretty impossible but I prayed and waited for a miracle knowing that God made so many miracles in my life and he took care of every detail and every need in the past. I didn't know how God will make it possible or if He will help me get it so fast to travel on the 9th but I kept praying. Yesterday Sebastian wrote me and asked me if I want to work alone or join some of the missionaries who are already on 3 islands. I told him that I prefer team work but I am ready to go wherever he needs me. So I let him choose for me because he knows the needs.

I woke up this morning knowing that I need to buy the ticket today even though I didn't have the money. And I did!!! Yes, I did buy it! I had to borrow some money for a while but I did buy it. Today I also found out I will be spending 2 days in New Zealand. Mario, the other missionary I am traveling with, wants to see Auckland so I will be staying, too. I am sure we will have fun. It will be a very, very long journey and I am so happy I am going to have somebody to travel with. We will be leaving from Bucharest, stopping in London and also in Dubai before we reach Auckland, New Zealand.

So, here I am, having just 13 more days to get ready... I am so happy and excited more than words can describe it. I am happy that I have a Father who loves me and takes care of all my needs and surpasses all my expectations. I feel so privileged... I feel unworthy of such a love. I know that He doesn't love me because I deserve it but because He is my Father and He is LOVE.

I Have Finally Decided...

I almost cannot believe it! It's still like a dream. After pondering and praying for direction, after wondering where God wants me and where will He take me next, after trying to understand what decision I should make, after months and months of waiting and praying and hoping, here I am, having already made that BIG decision. I cannot believe the turn things took in my life. I was determined I will be going to Guyana and that God wants me there as you already know. But things got pretty rough with my visa. I just kept having obstacles in my way. Last time I called they said they didn't have my invitation there even if it was sent almost 3 weeks ago. Interesting enough, God had started to work on my heart impressing me that He might want me in Vanuatu for a few days before I found out they hadn't processed my visa. I asked the Lord to grant me that visa He wants me there and He just kept putting obstacles in my way. So, on Thursday when I found out they still hadn't worked on my visa I decided to make the decision I have never thought I would make: go to Vanuatu.

I wrote Sebastian who was waiting for me to make a decision and I told him what I have decided. He is very happy to send me there. So, the Lord solved the problem with my choice. He showed me the direction and the way I have to follow. Now, He has to provide for my needs. I do not have the money I need to travel and to live there, but I know He will provide. Every year I am faced with the same challenge when I have to leave and so far He has been faithful in providing for my needs. I just pray that He will do it fast because I am tired of the civilization and I miss so much the quiet and simple jungle life, I miss cooking over an open fire, sleeping in a hut, enjoying the tropical scenery, talking to people and find out things about their culture... He makes everything in His time so I'm waiting.... hoping that I will be soon on the way to the jungles of Vanuatu - my next earthly home for a while. Believe me, I am pretty excited about going there. I am also nervous since I am not going to an established mission like I went to in Guyana. I am going there and I will have to use all the talents that the Lord gave me to draw close to those people and befriend them, to make them my friends and make myself useful. What is really making me nervous is that most probably I will be there ALONE (Sebastian was in a hurry and didn't write too much but he said he will write again soon to give more details, but so far he sent some other missionaries by themselves), alone on an island, without any electricity and internet - I might have signal for my phone but if there is no electricity to charge it, I won't be able to use it for a long time. So, even though I am nervous, I can hardly wait to go and see what life will be like and how God will work in my life there.

So, here I am waiting for God to provide and hoping to be able to leave soon for my new home - because HOME is for me where God wants me to be.:)

My Sweet, Sweet Nephew

Isn't he adorable???

Thank You, God, for Strangers!!!

Yes, I thank the Lord for people that I don't know, or maybe I met them just once - strangers in a nutshell - whom He uses to talk to me, to reveal things or maybe just make things clearer for me.

This morning I decided to listen to one sermon while I was cooking. So I picked my computer and wondered if I should listen to one of Ron Clouzet's sermons that I hadn't listened to. The title didn't sound too promising to me: "Saul, Saul why persecute me?" I am not a persecutor, am I? I needed something to help me understand God's will for me... And even tough it seemed unpromising, I decided to give it a try. Little did I know that God had some many things to tell me through this sermon (I highly recommend it to everybody). He had a special message for me and I am so happy that I have listened to the still small voice that told me to listen to it.

There are many things that God told me but I will tell you just a few of them. I chose to write almost word by word the preacher's words... I wish you could listen to the sermon. It makes much more sense.

• In Acts 22 Paul was the only one able to hear God's voice. Others heard something but not the voice of Jesus. The same thing happened to the people of Israel on Mount Sinai. God spoke the 10 commandments. Only Moses understood God but people heard thunder. Sometimes we think that people ought to understand clearly what God is telling us clearly. But all they hear is thunder. But sometimes that thunder is our thunder because we have heard God and we have heard Him speak very clearly to us, then we thunder to others exactly the things we think they should have heard. But is nothing but thunder to them. Jesus deals with us individually. He knows exactly the timing, the process for each one of us... I'm not trying to discourage anyone from sharing what Jesus have said to them but keep it to that. Perhaps then God will use the Spirit in terms of your testimony to say to them: I want you to think about it. We try to make up with volume for what we assume it's a failure of the Holy spirit to speak with sufficient clarity sometimes.

• God's call to service is never ahead of His call to know Him. When God calls you He first calls you to know who He is and then He shows you whom He was. Are you going to let Him do that? Are you going to allow Him to take you through both these processes? Do not skip one for the other. Many of you here today are wrestling right now with where God wants you to work, whom does God want you to reach. If that is not clear to you, stick to the first part of your call: get to know Jesus. Get to know Him, get to know how you have persecuted Him, what He has done for you, how patient He has been with you, and He will show you at every corner, at every turn: these are the people I want you to reach, these are the doors that I am opening for you. He will not do that clearly until the first part of your call is settled in your heart. That's why missionaries come back burnt out. That's why people with a great zeal for God sometimes fall great distances: because they forget the first part and run away with the second. God is calling all of us to know Him personally.
• If God wants you to grow He will disturb your peace.

It may not make too much sens to you, but it makes to me. I know I have concentrated so much on understanding where God wants me to be, that I forgot to concentrate on knowing Him better. If God is still silent, I know now it is because He wants to teach me to concentrate on getting to know Him. I know that He disturbed my peace just because He wants me to grow. So I decided to leave my future in His hands and to concentrate on knowing Him. It's hard to describe in words evey impression, every thought that God gave me this morning. You know, these things are not new to me, but it is amazing how God make them clearer and make them appear new just because of the vessel He uses, just because of the way somebody is presenting them.

If God talked to me today it is because of someone (a man who is completely stranger for me) was willing to share what God taught Him at GYC and because another person whom I met one time was willing to share with me the sermons he had.

So, I thank God so much for unselfish strangers!!! Even though they do not know it, if one day I will be in heaven, it is also because of them and their willingness to share what they knew or had with others.

The Promised Stories - First

Three and a half years ago I was working as a secretary, not being happy at all with what I was doing. But since I knew the Lord had brought me there (that's another whole story), I couldn't leave without having the assurance that God wants me to leave. I remeber as now that on the 3rd of June, 2005 I was reading my Bible in the morning and I read from Isaiah 43:18-19: “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert."

I had been praying for guidance for some time and it seemed that God is quiet and not making His will known to me. As I was reading these verse something deep inside me told me: "This is for you. This message is especially for you." I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know why it is for me and what is it telling me but I new it is for me.

A few hours later I was in my office checking my emails when I saw a new email from the principal of the school I was working for (who was also a good friend of mine). In short, the message was telling me that I am fired. The school board decided they do not have enough money to afford to have a secretary. So, starting with the 1rst of July I was jobless. Do you want to know my first reaction? Panic. I really, really paniced. It took some time to remember the verses I had read that morning but thanks God, I did eventually remember. The result? Peace. I knew my future is in His hands. I knew He told me just that morning to forget about the former things because He is making new things for me. What were those new things I didn't know. It took 4 months to understand His new plans for me and another month to get there. Five months later I was on my way to start a whole new life in a new place, new culture, new climate... That's when God brought me to Guyana -the best years, the best time, the best experience ever.

He Cares.. He Really Does...

I was sure that today I will be breaking the so-long-waited news: visa granted or not granted. In fact I hoped to be able to say: visa granted! But it seems the Lord has some other plans.

I woke up this morning and I spent time with the Lord. I have read from the Bible and Patriarchs and Profets about David - I just continued my study from where I left it yesterday. While I was meditating, I started thinking about David who was anointed when he was just a little kid and who became a king only when he was 24. In fact, he became a king only for Judah at the age of 24. Only when he was 30 the Israel accepted him as a king. What was in between? Playing the harp for Saul, killing Goliath, running away from Saul, befriending Jonathan. In fact, most of this in-between time David was chased being insecure and trying to save his life. And I couldn't help wondering why. Why did he have to run away when he was the king in God's eyes? Why did he have to have such a life when he was the one God anointed? Why did God alow him to live such a cruel life for such a long time? Just think that there were not just a few months.. there were years...

Having this in mind I started my day not knowing that God had a special message for me that I was going to understand later in the day.

When I called the embassy I had butterflies in my stomach. In fact, the whole week I could hardly eat. I could feel the stomach ache but I had no desire to eat, I felt even nauseated. I talked to the lady at the embassy and she told me she hasn't seen the invitation. Call back next weekend...I tried to talk to her see if there is any chance that I should know earlier if she found the invitation but she was very determined so I had to give up.

Then, as I was cooking today, David's story came again to my mind - and I finally understood why the Lord had me meditate on David's life this morning. If David waited for years to get what he knew it is his, what the Lord has promised Him, can't I wait a few months? I cannot tell you what a joy brought to my heart to understand the fact that God warned me, He wanted to prepare me for what was going to happen and to give me hope... Some will call it coincidence but I call it the LOVE of my Father.

You know, it is not the first time when God warns me. It is also not the first time when he uses David's story to answer a prayer, to give me direction and hope. But more about this tomorrow...

Happy Sabbath everyone!