Namibia, Here I Come!

Who thought just 2 weeks ago that in a couple of weeks I will be on my way to the African land? We were supposed to leave on the 14th of September. Great was the disappointment when we were told that due to the financial crises there is no money for our tickets. But we were promised that we will be leaving on the 4th of October. Two weeks before the departure date I received again the terrible new: no money so, departure is postponed again. It's no use to tell you that the disappointment was even greater. While talking to Sebastian on the phone, he told me we could come if we can pay for our plane tickets. He also asked me to let him know when we get the money so he can apply for our visas. Did I have the money? No, I had just part of the amount but I told Sebastian to apply for the visa. I knew that, if God called me there, He will provide the whole amount of money. So I just went ahead through faith. And the Lord was faithful. He blessed my faith and made it possible for me to buy the plane ticket. So, in just 5 days I will be on my way to the Namibian land along with 5 other friends.


I know that this is just the beginning of a new journey, a journey of faith, a journey of grace. I know God will work and I am looking forward to it. Right now, I am looking forward to see how He will take care of my financial needs. You see, when I bought the plane ticket, I was left with empty pockets. But I know that my God who provided the money for the ticket, will not let me go without any money to Namibia. So, I'm looking forward to seeing Him more at work in my life. I was talking to one of my friends from Namibia the other day and he was telling me that there are great things going on there. God is really working! And this is what makes me so happy!!!

Letting It Go....

To let go... one of those painful character building experiences we never want to experience. But we all pass through here and we all have to let go certain things or people from our lives sooner or later. 

I asked myself why is the process of letting go so painful. And here is the answer I came up with. 

When we have something or somebody in our lives, things or people that we cherish, that are so important to us, they make us feel secure. They give us a reason of living and being, a reson to smile and laugh, to look forward to the future. We may feel that with them we can go through everything in life because we know God brought them there. Once they disappear, once God considers He has to take them back or allows Satan to take them, we lose the security, the identity, the reason to smile and look forward to the future. 

I have wondered over and over if it is wrong to find our security and identity in things or people. Is God asking us to find those things just in Him? Are we to go ahead in life without having something tangible that will give us a reason to live and laugh and enjoy life? Are we supposed not to get attached to things and people and to live an austere life? What's then the purpose of everything God sends us?

I see our identity, our reason of being and living, our sercurity like a tree. A tree with deep roots, with trunk and branches and leafs and flowers. I think that the root belongs to God. The root is the identity, security and reason of living that we find in Him and Him alone. And I also see the trunk and branches as the tangible things, the people He sends in our lives to give us an identity and security, a reason to live and enjoy life. Sometimes, God considers that the tree needs some adjustments, some more shaping. So He cuts a brench here and there. Sometimes the shaping process needs cuting the whole trunk. But if the root is well anchored in Him, if the tree finds the source of life in Him, then the root will feed the tree and a new trunk and new branches will grow again. Finding our identity and security in things or people is not wrong as long as we have our root in God. Because it is Him who gives us things and people, sometimes for a longer period of time, sometimes for just a while, so we may enjoy life, so we may have the power to smile and be glad.

I realised that a lot of times what brings the most pain is not losing the thing or the person in itself. Sometimes it is more painful to loose the security and the identity that came along with that thing or person. It's normal to get used in time to not having the presence of those things and people in our lives, but we certainly cannot get used to having the emptiness, the insecurity and the lack of identity that their disappearance brings.

Though it is hard to lose both things and people, I must admit that losing the latter is much harder. It takes a lot of courage and real love to be able to let them go. It takes real love for them and real love for God. Would we risk to ask God to give them back to us at any price, at the price of their happiness and their salvation? Have you ever prayed for somebody that God will not give them to you but do what is the best for them? As young people when we admire somebody, can we pray that God will give them the person that will make them happy, that will help them shape their character and be saved? Can we say "Your will be done" when it comes about being with someone we cherish? If we can, than we should know that this is true love. Yes, sometimes love means to be able to let him/her go because their happiness and salvation is more important to us than having them... Because true love is unselfish. We may understand or we may not understand why God brought them for just a period of time in our lives. But we should know that He surely had a purpose and we should be thankful if they helped us be better persons, if their presence brought a smile on our faces and made us feel secure.

So I thank God for teaching me to let go of things, to let go of people. And also for teaching me to be happy that I had them even for just a while. He surely knows what He is doing. And I'm sure it's for my best.

Some of you may think I'm talking from books. Let me tell you that I'm not.

Freedom

Have you ever found yourself wanting to be free from your desires? I'm not talking about bad and sinful desires. It's all about good and legitimate desires. I do find myself sometimes in that position. There are good things that I deeply cherish and I surely would like to have them. But sometimes, instead of asking them from the Lord, I'm just asking Him to take away the desire to have them. Maybe it's because sometimes I become their slave and I tend to live in the future and forget to enjoy what I already have... Maybe it's because I am afraid I will never have them. Or maybe it's because I've prayed for some of them for such a long time and I didn't find any answer... Don't get me wrong. I'm not tired of praying for them. It's just that I want to be free, to be able to always enjoy life just as it is. I've always been a dreamer and I always liked to live in the future. Thank God He started to teach some time ago me to live and enjoy the present (it all happened while working in the jungle). So I'm still learning to live with my desires in the present... I guess that when I learned that lesson I can say I am trully free. Will I ever learn it?

It seems we finally have a date for our departure for the African land. October 4 is the day when we are supposed to take off for the Kalahari Desert. Though there is dissapointment in my heart because I was hoping we would leave earlier, I am also at peace because I know this delay has a purpose and it is for my best. I miss working for those helpless people. I find myself more and more not finding my place here... Home is one of those words I can't really say I know the meaning. It's good to be with my family but I long to be there where I find a reason for my existence, where what I do gives me a sens and a reason of being and living. So, right now I am learning to live with the desire of being there and enjoy the life I have right now.

Waiting Season... Again

It seems that the Lord considers that He has to work on my patience again so He keeps creating situations in which my patience is tested. We were supposed to leave for the Kalahari Desert sometimes around September 15 but so far we are not sure when we will be leaving. We might be leaving when we were supposed to, or we might be leaving later. It all depends on God and on His timing. We are waiting for Him to provide the funds for our plane tickets. So, I am back to where I was every August for the past 4 years. The good news is that even if I had to wait, God never failed me and He always sent the money I needed. I know that, if He keeps me here longer, He has a purpose. It's all about His timing. It is not easy to wait. It is much easier to become tired of waiting and restless. But I am learning to wait on Him even when I want so much to be able to do certain things right away. There are around 23 of us supposed to leave so please keep praying for us and for the money we need in order to leave for the African land.

Master Classes Are Over...

Master classes are over and I am happy and thankful that Sebastian sent me back from Vanuatu to take the last 3 classes in order have all the credits for my Master. I have learned a lot of useful things this summer. I am especially thankful for my Leadership class and for the amazing teacher I had. It has challenged me a lot and helped me understand some vital principals in leadership. I know God worked all the things out for me to be able to come back and attend these classes. I think that Carmen (Sebastian's wife) was right when she wrote me: "I have a feeling that all this amazing knowledge will soon serve a great purpose". It might not be great things in people's eyes but I am sure they will be great things in God's eyes.

For the last two Sabbaths Sandro (my Guyanese student) and I have been traveling to share with people our testimonies and the amazing things God has done for us. Two Sabbaths ago was for the first time when I heard him sharing his testimony... It was so powerful!!! I love listening to him sharing the way God changed his heart and the amazing way He worked in his life. When I think where he was just a year and a half ago (from all the points of view) I can only thank God for the way he worked in him and for him.

Just yesterday I came across a Sebastian's transmission from Zambia for the Loma Linda SDA Romanian Church from last Sabbath. I was so thrilled to find it. It made me miss Africa so much. It also brought tears to my eyes. :( I try to hang it on there since there are just a few more weeks left...

Right now I am getting ready to leave for Spain to spend a couple of weeks with my dear friend, Ana and share with some more churches about the amazing things God has done for me. Then I will be back to get ready for the next adventure of my life.

Vanuatu in Colors...

Here are some links to some more pictures from Vanuatu. Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=26800&id=1176913306&l=50d02bad5d

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=27210&id=1176913306&l=5374558e0d

Back Home...

Life has been full of unexpected things lately... Things have not been as I have planned them. As I have told you, I was not planning on going to Vanuatu. But when the Lord said something, I had to obey. Then I was planning to come back home in December but the Lord changed again my plans. So, here I am, back in Romania for a couple of months. I am so thankful for the blessed time I had in Vanuatu. The Lord taught me many things there. I have also seen some other sides of life... and experienced things I have never experienced before. God knew I really needed this experience. It was a wonderful gift and I thank the Lord so much for it.

Now, new chapters of my life are waiting to be written... The Lord had so many surprises for me so far and I am sure He will continue to surprise me and continue to give me more wonderful gifts. So far it seems that the new destination will be Africa but only the Lord knows what is next... I'm looking forward to seeing God's leading. I know I am in His hands and I am sure He has wonderful things in store for me. Didn't he promise that "eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him" (1 Cor. 2:9)? I've seen this promised fulfilled in my life so many times and I know this is just the beginning. So, here I am, trusting and waiting for the Lord to fulfill what He has promised in Jeremiah 33:3: ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’